One of the random things I consider now I have kids of my own (though they are all still a long way from starting school properly) is whether bullying at school has actually got better since I was a kid.
So for context I went to a regular fairly rural comprehensive (state/public school in US parlance) school in the UK in the late 80s and 90s. Bullying was definitely part of my upbringing (as a weird scruffy kid), both physical (although as I understand it that was much less prevalent and accepted by the authorities as in previous generations) and emotional which was completely the norm (and as I recall much worse than the physical bullying, but I was also quite a large kid who didn’t mind fighting so that might have had something to do with that)
So in the real work for a kid (esp a weird scruffy kid) in the US going to an average decent public middle or high school today (or in the UK for that matter, though my kids will almost certainly being going to school here in the US) are things radically better w.r.t. to bullying?
If you were to believe the hype about the “snowflake generation” you’d think so (but that seems to be mainly propagated by people my age or older who have no direct connection to education system). My take is that any kind of physical bullying would be very rare (and potentially lead to getting to cops involved) but that emotional bullying is a much harder thing to control IRL, and probably goes on at about the same rate, or at least not loads less?
I get the impression from talking to some kids I know in school and comparing it to my experiences, bullying over the last several decades has become less about physical bullying and more cyber bullying because the risk to the bully is lower.
It’s more psychologically damaging now, in part because there is no ability to escape the abuse by going home, but less physically damaging
No. Bullying used to be one troubled youth who made vague threats or shoved others. With computers it is somewhat anonymous, highly personal and present not just at school but everywhere else. This presumed anonymity, and the presumed lack of consequences has empowered idiots everywhere who say things online that they would never say in person, for a crowd of fellow idiots.
Still, there is the lighter side…
Canada reportedly has had at least four million cases of cyber bullying. That’s over ten percent of people. The lawmakers and police are not shining stars here.
I do think it’s taken more seriously by the powers that be. There are procedures. Covering up bullying is the sort of thing you get in professional trouble for. I’m sure it still happens, but at least in theory it is a Bad Thing.
This beats my own childhood, when being an abusive ashore was basically seen as one of the perks of being popular, and everyone, from parents to teachers to students treated it like an immutable law of nature.
Bullying is certainly more acknowledged, officially derided, and seen as inappropriate. I’d agree with you in that sense.
But I think now it is more widespread, using larger groups - one thing to be a jerk, but jerkitude might be much increased if performing for an audience of other jerks.
Speaking only of Canada, despite many programs and efforts it seems incredibly commonplace. AFAIK, only Nova Scotia has made comprehensive efforts to pass anti-bullying laws with teeth. The law is a very blunt mechanism for solving many sorts of problems, but sensible laws are one important deterrent. Saying “please do not do this” does not seem to be working here. Problems with things like depression and anxiety were reportedly relatively rare years ago in young cohorts, compared to now.
When I was in jr/sr high I was mildly bullied but it was generally just during school hours. I could leave it behind and going to college was like starting fresh. Nowadays it can follow you everywhere; that’s gotta make it worse.
Just as much bullying. But the difference is that the VP etc might actually do something about it. When I got bullied in Junior High School the Boys VP solution was swats all around.
My impression in the states at least, is that actual physical bullying (which definitely still happened in my day, but was not consider acceptable or a “fact of life” as I believe it was in previous years) wouldn’t result in a “talk” or “swats” nowadays but would result in actual real cops being called and an investigation for assault. Maybe I’m being dramatic about it, but I’ve definitely heard of friends children being involved in actual criminal investigations for things that would dealt with entirely as school disciplinary matters in my day.
I’m in the UK too, and have a daughter who’s now 22 (and I knew her friends well), and I’d say that school-based bullying has definitely changed for the better. Teachers cannot control what happens outside school, even if we sometimes try. But we can make school a safe place for kids, and that helps.
Physical bullying is escalated very quickly - obviously that’s only one aspect of bullying, but every child that’s been physically bullied would like that part to go away even if the rest didn’t. And there is an awful lot of emotional bullying involved in standing above someone and pushing them around, too. Teachers used to do that too, sometimes; nowadays that’s a firing offence.
Most of the schools I’ve taught in, in London, genuinely keep an eye on the playgrounds at breaktime and are swift to intervene, and often - if space allows - have an area where certain kids can go in the breaks where certain other kids aren’t allowed. Two of my daughter’s best friends became friends with each other by being in this little area, where they were free to let their geekiness loose.
In lessons, some of the teaching methods help; they’re less confrontational than they used to be (bit long to go into, though). When kids see teachers picking on students, they feel like they have free reign to do it too, and that happens far less than it did when I was young.
As a young child, I witnessed some really extraordinary bullying at school. Extreme physical and every other kind of violence. So extreme I don’t want to think about it. The teachers either ignored it or sometimes enabled it. One girl nearly died, and one boy, that I met years later, seemed damaged beyond repair. It all happened at school. It wouldn’t happen now.
