I don’t want to visit you web page and have my browser grind to a halt for the privlage of hearing a tinny rendition of “Louie Louie” that sounds like it was composed on a 1986 Amega. Nor do I want to have my computer sieze up for a scrolling line of inspirational Tony Robbins quotes.
I don’t want your “open this page INSIDE of my page” thingies (AskJeeves.com, I’m talking to you). If you’ve got a link, great. But just hyperlink it, my screens not big enough for the two of us. I’ve got a ‘back’ button, and I know how to use it, thanks.
I don’t want your distracting, hyper kinetic ads. I have no intention of “Punching the monkey” thanks. Got a click-ad that looks like a windows prompt? Well fuck you!
I don’t want your invisable keywords that tricked the search engine into bringing me here. If I’m doing research, hiding the word “magnesium” among a huge cloud of 1 point type wastes my time. Honestly, how many people looking for “preeteen Russian Lolitas” are also looking for the atomic weight of magnesium?
I don’t want your animated “under construction” GIF’s. Not done? Not intrested. The day of the little cartoon construction worker bieng cute is long gone.
I hate those sites that automatically spawn new windows (Porn sites are notorious). So that the ‘back’ and ‘stop’ buttons just make more windows until you run out of RAM and you have to kill the browser or even turn off the whole computer.
I’m tired of the pages that pop up spawn after I press the Back button.
Or ones that open spawn after they open. Then the spawn reopen the original page. I’ve had 30 tasks of IE generate before I could halt this.
Or the topper: a spawn page causes a GPF. When you choose OK on the error message box, not just the IE tasks that cause it closes, but every IE open, even the one you wanted to bookmark, except the @!#?@! spawn process started snowballing!
I looked in the mirror today/My eyes just didn’t seem so bright
I’ve lost a few more hairs/I think I’m going bald - Rush
Your browser can block the Java if you like. I use Netscape 4.7 – under Edit/Preferences/Advanced there is an “Enable Java” checkbox. I’m sure other browsers are similar.
“If ignorance were corn flakes, you’d be General Mills.”
Cecil Adams The Straight Dope
What ticks me off most about those annoying popup geo-ads is that geocities has made it moron-proof to turn the things off, yet people don’t bother to pay their visitors the courtesy. It takes all of about 30 seconds to put the banner ad code on your page and then go click the “activate my geoguides” button, for crying out loud.
I also hate it when people design their pages for their own browser settings, screen resolution and monitor size and then put “this page is best viewed with Browser X.X and 1024 x 768 screen resolution.” on there. Uhm, hello – I don’t have a 17" monitor and I can’t see a thing when it’s so freaking tiny. I LIKE my settings at 800 x 600, and most people still use 640 x 480, which is how their computers come preset. If you can’t design a website that’s best viewed on ALL browsers and settings then don’t waste my time. (And if you have any questions, moron, check www.htmlgoodies.com for some great tips called “getting them all the same.”). I do NOT want to have to scroll back and forth and back and forth to read the stuff on your site! If I see that I have to, I’m outta there, and you’ve completely wasted any effort it took to get me there in the first place.
I also don’t want to hear your cheesy background music. And if there are links that are outdated and don’t work, GET THEM OFF YOUR PAGE!
But my biggest pet peeve are those creepy people who have figured out how to prevent me from ever leaving their page without completely shutting down my browser window or opening the search page again and starting my search all over. If I click the back button, that means I want to go BACK, not stay on your #%@&% page, you big jerk!
End of rant. Thank you for posting this topic. I feel better now
“How wonderful it is that nobody need wait a single moment before starting to improve the world.” - Anne Frank
After I stopped being the webmaster for my company’s support site they really screwed it up. It’s got way huge graphics and meaningless titles and you have to have your monitor set to 1600x1200 to see anything at all on the pages. Yuck. It looks like this:
<pre>
GRAPHICS GRAP
G GRAPHICS G
R G G
A R R text
P A A
H P P
</pre>
I agree with everything posted so far (does that make me a yes-man)?
But what I really REALLY hate are those pages that pop up in your search engine saying “The best web site for information on [your search string here]! We have everything you want to know about [your search string here]!”
How do they do that? How do they take the search engine’s EXACT search and put it in their header so their page always comes up first? And it has NOTHING TO DO with your search! IT SUCKS! ARGH!
– Sylence
I don’t have an evil side. Just a really, really apathetic one.
I hate people who have “Best viewed with Netscape” and “Best viewed with Explorer” buttons. Gee great, what web page ISN’T meant to be viewed with those two? Thanks for the helpful hint.
Another useless thing is people who have links to search engines for no reason. Why would you put a link to Yahoo on your personal web page???
