You want me to hold the chicken, huh?
I want you to hold it between your knees
As well as : Howard Jensen
everytime i’m crossing the street and i can see the cars barreling down on me I say to myself…“I’m walking here, I’m walking here!”
When i’m watching football/Packers with my friends, and Brett Favre does something stupid someone will curse or something. One of us always follows with, in a high voice, “he’s not the Messiah, he’s a very naughty boy!”
sorta…I’ll call certain people “my huckleberry friend”. Taken from Moon River, from the movie “Breakfast at Tiffany’s”.
From ORLANDO (when Tilda Swinton as the title character looks in the mirror and discovers he is now a woman): “How extraordin’ry.” (She is mildly surprised but hardly panicked.)
From 'THE LION IN WINTER" (whenever I’ve had a major fight with my mother): “What family doesn’t have it’s ups and downs?”
Mr. S and I have so, so many of these. Here’s the one in my head right now (why yes, I did work out today):
At the gym:
“What do we love?”
“PAIN!”
—Say Anything
Oh, and when we see a car parked in a stupid/illegal place:
<in goofy accent>“You can’t park there!”
“We’re not parking it, we’re abandoning it!”
—Stripes
Whenever Mr. S catches me gazing lovingly (or however) at him:
“. . . that look a woman gives her man that says, ‘I blame you for this.’”
—Quick Change
To the dogs when they’re being particularly rambunctious:
“You’re TOO MUCH TROUBLE. Get some THERAPY!”
—Tootsie
From “Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade”: “He chose … poorly.”
“Jaws” (anytime something large is being discussed): “This shark … swallow you whole.”
A friend and I would always set up this exchange from “Heathers” for each other:
“Dammit, why do I _____________ ?” (insert something silly or stupid that one of us does, or did).
" 'Cause you’re an idiot."
“Oh yeah… that’s it.”
Whenever I see celery I say “Celery?” in a Yiddish accent ala High Anxiety. “Oy, a bloody mary? They always give you Snappy Peppy. Snappy Peppy! Always wit the peppywitthesschnappy!”
Whenever I see a turning car blocked by pedestrians in the crosswalk, I shout “I’m walkin’ heah, I’M WALKIN’ HEAH!” like Ratso Rizzo.
And I alway refer to oatmeal, etc, as “gruuuuell” like Bill Murray in Meatballs.
Every time something frustrating happens, it’s always “Fuck it, dude. Let’s go bowling.”
An old movie with George Hamilton as a vampire.
A teenager standing with him on a balcony.
Teenager asks him if he’d like to smoke some shit.
Vampire George says, ala Dracula voice, I don’t smoke (long pause) shit.
That was Love at First Bite. The word is out that a sequel is being considered. I wish they’d leave well enough alone, but that is not Hollywood’s way. They’ve gotta keep resurrecting things until stakes are driven through their hearts.
Auggh.
"George Hamilton To Make ‘Love At Second Bite’
[Thursday, February 10th, 2005]
Tony Thomopoulos and George Hamilton are going to be making the sequel to the vampire comedy Love at First Bite, called Love at Second Bite, according to the Hollywood Reporter.
First Bite was released in 1979 by MGM and starred Hamilton as Count Dracula who moves to New York to find a bride.
David Steinberg is on board to write the sequel-cum-update, with Hamilton in talks about reprising his role as Dracula.
Second Bite takes place 25 years later, centering on Dracula’s Americanized son, who has rejected his family’s heritage and is getting married to a human. Trouble ensues when he learns that his vampire relatives are coming to America for the wedding."
http://www.killermovies.com/l/loveatsecondbite/articles/4897.html
Recalling Bill Murray in Caddyshack has often helped me get through the day:
“The Dali Lama, himself. Twelfth son of the Lama. The flowing robes, the grace, bald… striking. So, I’m on the first tee with him. I give him the driver. He hauls off and whacks one. Big hitter, the Lama, long…So we finish the eighteenth and he’s gonna stiff me. And I say, ‘Hey, Lama, hey, how about a little something, you know, for the effort, you know?’ And he says, ‘Oh, there won’t be any money, but when you die, on your deathbed, you will receive total consciousness.’ So I got that goin’ for me…which is nice.”
Whenever I see a Latino guy named Jesus, I think: “Nobody fucks with The Jesus” (The Big Lebowski)
Whenever I’ve fucked up and my wife has caught me: “Ne vous allez pas ou Media…Don’t go to the media” (Kids in the Hall: Brain Candy)
Whenever my wife has fucked up and I’ve caught her: (shrill, Chinese accent) “You are a traitor! You are a collaborator!! You are a counter-revolutionary!!!” (The Last Emperor)
Whenever someone’s reputation grows: “His Dun and Bradstreet has shot the fuck up” (Out of Sight)
And a bunch more from the Simpsons and Mr Show with Bob and David
Whenever I stumble over something in front of other people:
“Have that removed.” - John Larroquette in Stripes
Whenever someone pisses me off, and I have that brief little revenge fantasy, one of two quotes usually come to mind:
“Crush your enemies, see them driven before you, and hear the lamentation of the women!”
or
“This is what happens, Larry! This is what happens when you fuck a stranger in the ass!”
From Pulp Fiction:
“Check out the big brain on Brett!”
“I’ll be down in two shakes of a lamb’s tail.”
“A dog’s got personality. Personality goes a long way.”
“You’ve got a corpse, in a car, minus a head, in a garage. Take me to it.”
Ellen Cherry , how could I have forgotten this one:
whenever I hand someone I know money I tell them, “Now I have to turn my back on you” like Big Paulie in Good Fellas.
“Some days, the magic works. Some days, it doesn’t” – from Little Big Man
When doing tech support, I use this phrase daily.
The one that keeps coming back to me, for some reason, is from Alien[sup]3[/sup]:
*I gave him the assignment, sir. He was a wanker. *