This was done on the Original SDMB, but it’s been some time and we have many additions to our crazy and dysfuntional family of Dopers. So I thought it time to start it up again.
" You owe me two dollars." - From one of John Cusacks Movies.
When someone asks me how long (the repair or whateve) will take, I respond
." “Two weeks.”
From the Money Pit.
I’ll add more later…
Bigamy is having one wife to many. Monogamy is the same. - Oscar Wilde
Actually it’s
I want my two dollars.
from Better Off Dead
one of my favorites
My most common quote is one of the following pair:
“I say we take off and nuke the entire site from orbit. Its the only way to be sure.”
or the short form (much more repeatable):
“I saw we nuke the site from orbit. Only way to be sure.”
This is usually said when involving stupid computer problems. At these times, I would very much like to nuke the site from orbit. Often, the “site” is Redmond.
Every morning when I find there is no coffee in the coffee pot i like to say
“Bunch of savages in this town” a la Clerks
I also like
“I’d horsewhip you If I had a horse”
and
“A child of 5 could understand this, now fetch me a child of 5”
from groucho marx (in Duck Soup I believe)
and anytime someone is complaining sayin “i don’t want this and I don’t want that” I like to say
“I don’t want any plastics and I don’t want any ground floors”
Jimmy Stewart It’s a wonderful life.
To deal with men by force is as impractical as to deal with nature by persuasion.
Oh wow… I’m a movie quote junkie, and of course, so are a good majority of my friends, and we just spout random quotes out WHENEVER… some of the favorite ones are:
“You’f been stealing vater… take off your clothes” --Tank Girl
“Bub?” “Nuh, not Bub, BUB!” “Oh BOB!” “Oui BAAAAAB” --French Kiss
“Men are bastards…do you know him, oh of course you know him, all you bastards know each other – bastard!” --also from FK
“Oh, I hated the colonel, with his wee beady eyes, and that smug look on his face…‘Oh you’re gonna buy my chicken, ooohh’” --So I Married an Axe Murderer
“I will simply deny you the crown and–LIVE FOREVER!” --Ever After
“The pen is BLUE! The GODDAMN pen is BLUE!!” --Liar Liar
“This is a job for WEENIE-MAN!! Into the Weenie-mobile…WEENIE-MAN AWAY!!” --Mystery Science Theatre 3000 the movie
ETC…
(I have to go watch one MST3K now…)
“What we have here, is failure to communicate!” - from Cool Hand Luke.
“I’m sorry, Dave, I can’t do that.” - 2001
“You can’t fight in here! This is the war room!” - Dr. Strangelove
I’ve been using this lately, since I’m reaching a certain age, mentioned below:
King Arthur: Old woman…
Peasant: Man
KA: Sorry, old man…
P: I’m 37.
KA: What?
P: I’m 37, I’m not old!
Also, since the commercial must have damaged my brain, I’ve been saying “Do I make you horny?” in the style of Austin Powers. Guess you have to be there (or here).
“What a tah-rah-rah-goon-deay! What a nin-cow-poop! What an ultra-maroon! What an im-bessle!” And so on…
“Tim Stratton, rush chairman, damn glad to meet ya”–Animal House
“You better watch your p’s and q’s mister”–Ferris Bueller’s Day Off
“That’s going to leave a mark”, “Holy Snikeys”–Tommy Boy
“Badges? We don’t need no stinking badges”–Blazing Saddles
“Did we quit when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbour,…hell no”–Animal House
“See your future, be your future, make, make your future”, “Be the ball Betty”–Caddyshack
“Open the pod bay doors, Hal”–2001
“Concentrate on what you are doing” Yoda, Empire Strikes Back (I’m a H.S. tennis coach)
“Crying! There’s no crying in baseball” Tom Hanks movie w/ women baseball players…Geena Davis, Madonna…?
Between movie quotes and corporate buzzwords, I don’t think I say anything else.
I’m mad as hell, and I’m not going to take it anymore!
" No matter where you go, there you are." Buckaroo Bonzai
When asked my name, " Joan Just Joan." from Jewel of the Nile.
“The Doobie Brothers broke up?” Romancing the Stone. (Whenever I heard of another “tragic” breakup of a rock band.)
" I never had any friends since like I did when I was 12. Christ, does anyone?" Stand by me.
" I mean it, sincerely." Stand by me.
" You’ll shoot your eye out." Christmas Story. ( whenever some one is trying something new.)
This is, IMHO, one of the best quotes of the last 10 years. When asked if she went to her class reunion, Joan Cusack (Grosse Pointe Blank) replies: " Yeah, everyone looked the same, only bloated."
When asked to spell and prounce my last name, I say, " It’s spelled Such and Such, but it’s pronounced, Luxury-Yacht." (Monty Pyton)
More later as the mood hits
…which Mel Brooks stole from John Houston’s “The Treasure of the Sierra Madre”.
“He’s not the messiah, he’s a very naughty boy!” Monty Python, Life of Brian
“I think it would be a great idea” Mohandas Ghandi’s answer when asked what he thought of Western civilization
Well, it’s stupid, but my friends and I (over-thirty, normally intelligent females) make a “W” with our hands and say “whatever!” if we think something is stupid – that’s from Clueless.
“Wanna breed?” “Tempting, but no.” – Willow.
“Are you trying to tell me coconuts migrate?” Monty Python’s Holy Grail.
“Yes, yes, say it! He vas my BOYFRIEND!” – Young Frankenstein.
The Tom Hanks baseball movie, BTW, was A League Of Their Own.
danke.
I’m mad as hell, and I’m not going to take it anymore!
I like to throw the following out non-sequitur style; most of my fellow employees just don’t get it…
“You can’t let them in here–they’ll see the Big Board!”
-Gen. “Buck” Turgeson, “Dr. Strangelove”;
“I have one word for you–plastics!”
-“Goodbye Columbus”
“Rommel, you magnificent bastard! I read your book!”
-Geo. C. Scott as “Patton”
“220, 240, whatever it takes”
-electrical advice from Tom Hanks in “Mr. Mom”
“I find your lack of faith disturbing”
-Darth Vader (try saying it into a bucket, or large container)
“I have to go into Tashe Station and pick up some power converters”
-whiny Luke Skywalker (I say this to nosey co-workers asking what I’m doing. No-one has understood the reference yet, or asked to see the power converters.)
“A fella–a quick fella–might have a weapon under there”
-Snake Guy in “Road Warrior”
“Last of the V8 Interceptors!”
-Mechanic Guy in “Road Warrior”
“What a puny plan!”
“There has been too much killing–just walk away!”
-The Humungous (“the Ayatolla of Rock and Rolla”) in “Road Warrior”
“They had heavy metal in the First World War, only they called it shrapnel then”
-Alexi Sayle, TV show “Stuff”
“A friend will help you move house. A best friend will help you move a body.”–Alexi Sayle
I always thought this was from “The Graduate”.
and
…I’m pretty sure this was from Michael Keaton.
Don’t you hate nitpickers?
Thanks, Papabear!
I was going to say “The Graduate,” but some inner vision of Richard Benjamin being addressed changed my mind!
You’re also right about Michael Keaton–well, they did look similar, and it was about 15 years ago!!
Here’s a couple of obscure ones: can you name the films?
“If you dare speak to an officer like that again, I shall scream the house down!”
“For God’s sake, Barrow, are you a man or a book?”
“A friend will help you move house. A best friend will help you move a body.”–Alexi Sayle
Of course there is the more obscure “Badgers? We don’t need no stinking badgers!” from Wierd Al’s fabulous “VHF”. Rent it this weekend if you haven’t seen it!
A few others i just thought of:
Whenever my wife is being particularily demanding i like to say:
“Yes Love, whatever love wants love gets”
See Who’s afraid of Virginia Woolfe, you’ll understand
I also had a Doctor who’s last name was Jones and every time I saw him i’d whip out:
“It’s a pleasure to see you again Doctor Jones” in an evil type accent a la the Indiana Jones movies
To deal with men by force is as impractical as to deal with nature by persuasion.
The only thing we Romans don’t have a god for is premature ejaculation. But I hear that’s coming quickly!
Don’t get saucy with me, Bernaise.
And of course, with the birth of the artist came the inevitable afterbirth - the critic
I must be crazy to be in a looney bin like this.
They was giving me ten thousand watts a day, you know, and I’m hot to trot! The next woman takes me on’s gonna light up like a pinball machine and pay off in silver dollars!
– Ibid.
“Over to you, red leader one.” — The Magic Christian
“I watched from the helicopter while Jim wrestled the python. Watch out Jim!” — Mutual of Omaha’s Wild Kingdom
“Yoiks! And away!” — Robin Hood Daffy
“Where’s the kaboom? There was supposed to be an Earth-shattering kaboom!” — Duck Dodgers in the 24 1/2th Century
…and, of course…
“Frankly my dear, I don’t give a damn.” — Gone With the Wind