Movie Quotes You Use

Actually, as any good movie buff will tell you, the original goes

Right up there with “Play it again, Sam!”

“Nice knockers!” - Young Frankenstein

“You want ice water? Cut up an onion, that’ll make your eyes water!” - Duck Soup?

“'Scuse me while I whip this out!” - Blazing Saddles

And, a friend of mine, a 6’ 8", 300 lb irish cop, his favorite line in any movie
“Alright, we’ll take the niggers and the chinks, but we don’t want no irish!” - Blazing Saddles


“It is better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to open one’s mouth and remove all doubt.”
Abraham Lincoln

Some people have posted some good quotes, but they don’t really tell when they use them (not that that was part of the OP or anything). I just love using quotes to tell someone something specific:

“Luke, why have you switched off your targetting computer?” - Star Wars - said to anyone whenever they are taking matters into their own hands

“You keep using that word… I do not think it means what you think it means.” - The Princes Bride - applicable to anyone who has some term/definition screwed up

“You done smoke yourself retarded.” - Half-Baked - think this one should be obvious

(more later)

“…like a blind man in a dark room looking for a black cat that isn’t there!”
Stand and Deliver

I’m drawing a blank on movie quotes, can I use Simpsons’ quotes??

Grandpa Simpson: “Dogs wag their tails for hours after they die!”

Grandpa: “If grandpa says the dog is dead, it must be alive!”

Beekeeper #1: “To the bee-mobile!”
Beekeeper #2: “You mean your Chevy?”
Beekeeper #1: “…Yes.”

Grandpa: “Death stalks you at every turn… DEATH!”
Lisa: “Grandpa, that’s Maggie.”
Grandpa: “Oh, you’re right. At my age, the mind starts to play tricks on you…DEATH!”
Lisa: “Grandpa, that’s the cat.”
Grandpa: “Oh… DEATH!”
Lisa: “That’s Maggie again.”

Homer: “Less artsy, more fartsy!”

And from Ralphie Wiggums:
My cat’s name is Mittens.
My cat’s breath smells like cat food.
Hi, Lisa, we’re going to be a pie!
Oh boy, sleep! That’s where I’m a viking!
When I grow up, I’m going to Bovine University!
I bent my Wookie.
The doctor says I wouldn’t get so many nosebleeds if I just keep my finger out of there.

Oh, can I do Blackadder, too?

Captain Blackadder, from Blackadder Goes Forth: “While I, on the other hand, being a well-rounded individual, have received a degree from the University of Life, a diploma from the School of Hard Knocks, and 3 gold stars from the kindergarten of getting the shit kicked out of me.” My all time favorite :slight_smile:


“I hope life isn’t a big joke, because I don’t get it,” Jack Handy

“You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.”
–Inigo Montoya, from The Princess Bride.

“Have Fun. Stay Single.”
–from Singles.

“I was just nowhere near your neighborhood.”
–ibid.

“You know, in a parallel universe, we’re probably a scorching couple.”
–ibid. (what does that stand for, anyway?)

“You killed Ted, you medieval dickweed!”
–from Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure.

“Dodge THIS!”
–from The Matrix.

I’m sure there are more, and I’m sure this thread will still be here when I think of them.

From “Army of Darkness”:
“Groovy!”
“You ain’t leading nothing now but Jack and shit. And Jack left town.”

From “Billy Madison”:
“If peeing your pants is cool, just call me Miles Davis.”

OK…

“Over to you, red leader one.” — The Magic Christian
(Whenever I hand off a project or problem to another of our analysts.)

“I watched from the helicopter while Jim wrestled the python. Watch out Jim!” — Mutual of Omaha’s Wild Kingdom
(While watching someone else struggle with a problem in lieu of actually doing anything helpful)

“Yoiks! And away!” — Robin Hood Daffy
(When kicking off the latest run of a program that I have just compiled for the 18th time and expecting to hit problem number 19)

“Where’s the kaboom? There was supposed to be an Earth-shattering kaboom!” — Duck Dodgers in the 24 1/2th Century
(When said program doesn’t blow up on the 19th run.)

…and, of course…
“Frankly my dear, I don’t give a damn.” — Gone With the Wind
(All the time…)

Ahh i’m at home now so I can think of more by looking at my movie boxes

“Direct descendant of God? You just want to slip her the pork!”
-Forbidden Zone

“The queen said she was gonna ream us out with 18 inch cattle prods and I’m still waiting!”
-Forbidden Zone

“Your buns smell like lox honey i can smell em from here”

  • Forbidden Zone

“Sometimes life is painful
Pain makes man think
Thinking makes man wise
Wisdom makes life bearable”

  • Teahouse of the August Moon

<groucho Marx reaching into his pocket to tip a bellboy> “Do you have change for a 10?”
Bellboy “Yes sir!”
Groucho “Then you won’t need this nickle I was going to give you.”

  • A night at the opera

just a few more for the list… maybe I will add more later


To deal with men by force is as impractical as to deal with nature by persuasion.

“I will simply deny you the crown and–LIVE FOREVER!” --Ever After

Stolen from The Lion in Winter, BTW. I can’t find the original, just flipping through it, but I believe it is “Let’s deny them both and live forever.” It’s said by Eleanor to Henry. They have been arguing about whether John (Henry’s choice) or Richard (Eleanor’s choice) will inherit the throne.

I don’t quote too many films-- but The Lion in Winter-- I love to toss off “It’s 1183, and we’re barbarians.” OK, no one gets it, and I look weird. Sue me.


–Rowan
Shopping is still cheaper than therapy. --my Aunt Franny

“Crying! There’s no crying in baseball” Tom Hanks movie w/ women baseball players…Geena Davis, Madonna…?

My vet’s favorite movie. A League of Their Own. When it first came out, I could never get it right. I kept calling it A League of One’s Own…


–Rowan
Shopping is still cheaper than therapy. --my Aunt Franny

“We can’t stop here! This is bat country!” Used when in a bad part of the nation (so it’s a book quote, so sue me).


“If A=B, B=C, and C=D, do not get a job proofreading” --Quid’s Theorem

“Now I’ll never be a teen model!” --The Brady Bunch Movie (after suffering some personal injury)

“Do you like the Wizard of Oz?” --Christmas Story (in forced get-to-know-ya situations)

“Want to touch the hiney!” --Billy Madison (when viewing an attractive woman)

“I claim this swamp in the name of Poland” --The Ninth Configuration (when marking territory)

“Anything is peaceful from one thousand, three hundred and fifty-three feet.” --Ferris Bueller’s Day Off (when viewing the city from my rooftop)

“My nuts are halfway up my ass, but other than that, I’m perfect!” --Weird Science (when driving too fast)

“Get me a chunky.” --Throw Momma from the Train (when someone’s going somewhere)

“When I get angry, Mr. Bigglesworth gets upset. And when Mr. Bigglesworth gets upset… people die!” --Austin Powers (when I get angry…)


“Anything is peaceful from one thousand, three hundred and fifty-three feet.”

Drain, ibid. is short for ibidem, which is Latin for “in the same place.” The other commonly used phrase is op. cit., short for operr citato (“in the work cited”).

Shirly, considering your name, I can’t believe you didn’t mention the most obivious quote of all:

“Surely you can’t be serious.”
“I am serious, and don’t call me Shirley.”

Oh, well, if we’re going to do Blackadder quotes:
They do say, Mrs Miggins, that verbal insults hurt more than physical pain, they are of course wrong, as you will soon discover when I stick this toasting fork in your head.

You know, Blackadder, for me socks are like sex. Lots of it about and I never seem to get any.

I’m as happy as a Frenchman who has just invented a pair of self removing trousers!

“…like a blind man in a dark room looking for a black cat that isn’t there!”
Stand and Deliver–when observing someone who’s groping for the obvious.

Grandpa Simpson: “Dogs wag their tails for hours after they die!” Just a good non-sequitor I like to toss out.

Grandpa: “If grandpa says the dog is dead, it must be alive!” Some days it just seems like you’re never right…

Beekeeper #1: “To the bee-mobile!”
Beekeeper #2: “You mean your Chevy?”
Beekeeper #1: “…Yes.” This one is fun on your way out to the car if someone will do the Beekeeper #2 line for you.

Grandpa: “Death stalks you at every turn… DEATH!”
Lisa: “Grandpa, that’s Maggie.”
Grandpa: “Oh, you’re right. At my age, the mind starts to play tricks on you…DEATH!”
Lisa: “Grandpa, that’s the cat.”
Grandpa: “Oh… DEATH!”
Lisa: “That’s Maggie again.” – My sister and I used to love to do multiple part quotes, one of us would just utter a line at random and the other would run with it, but we’ve fallen out of the habit since we haven’t lived under the same roof in about 4 years. Even then, we didn’t do the DEATH! one line for line, we’d usually just point to random objects and screech DEATH! for no apparent reason. It’s always fun to point at housepets and shriek DEATH! because, a.) you look like an idiot for being scared of your own dog, and 2.) pointing and shrieking at them excites them :slight_smile: I don’t do multiple part quotes with my husband, though, because he never gets it.

One from Dr. Katz, Professional Therapist, that I’ve attempted to train my husband to do when we part for work each morning:
Ben: “I bid you adieu.”
Dr. Katz: “I’ll see that ‘dieu’ and raise you a toodle-loo.” – As I said, he doesn’t get it.

Homer: “Less artsy, more fartsy!” When impatient.

And from Ralphie Wiggums (these are all good non-sequitors):
My cat’s name is Mittens.
My cat’s breath smells like cat food.
Hi, Lisa, we’re going to be a pie!
Oh boy, sleep! That’s where I’m a viking!
When I grow up, I’m going to Bovine University!
I bent my Wookie.
The doctor says I wouldn’t get so many nosebleeds if I just keep my finger out of there.

And, of course, this is perfect when it’s necessary to demonstrate that there’s more to education than fancy-schmancy book learnin’ (except I can never get through it without ruining it by giggling):

Captain Blackadder, from Blackadder Goes Forth: “While I, on the other hand, being a well-rounded individual, have received a degree from the University of Life, a diploma from the School of Hard Knocks, and 3 gold stars from the kindergarten of getting the shit kicked out of me.”


“I hope life isn’t a big joke, because I don’t get it,” Jack Handy

my sister and I are movie line junkies, and often play off each others references (which makes for great looks in public!)

“Were you out on the lake today kissing your brain?”- The Man With Two Brains- used when inquiring of each others whereabouts

“He’ll keep calling, and calling…OK, I’ll go, I’ll go, I’ll go”- Ferris B. Day Off - our usual answering maching message for each other.

“Vegas! Vegas! Vegas!”- Vegas Vacation- used when discussing a casino trip

“Oooohhh…big bet, for a big man!”- also Vegas Vacation- used loudsy by my sister when I’m playing a higher stakes game

“I shagged her rotton baby, yeah!”- Austin Powers- used by my husband when discussing our decision to start a family…
More to come…
Zette

“Were you out on the lake today kissing your brain?”- The Man with Two Brains

“Asps. Very dangerous. You go first.”
Raiders of the lost Ark. ( Whenever I am trying to get out of going first.)

" I stick my neck out for no one." Humphrey Bogart…Casablanca?

" I don’t know nuthin’ ‘bout birthin’ babies, Miss Scarlet!" GWTW - (Whenever the question falls to me if I know how to fix something or do something of which I haven’t a clue of how to do it.)

More later…please stand by…

With two Ferris Bueller quotes, I’m suprised that I didn’t see Ben Stein’s:
“Bueller? Bueller? Bueller?”

Seems like everyone uses that one :slight_smile:

I love that quote. :slight_smile: They made it into a movie, so you are in the clear.

“Where are we going?”
“Planet 10!”
“When are we going?”
“Real soon!” – Buckaroo Bonzai

John: My God, if I went up in flames, there’s not a living soul who’d pee on me to put the fire out!
Richard: Let’s strike a flint and see.

“The Lion in Winter”


I carry twenty-three great wounds all got in battle. Seventy-five men
have I killed with my own hands in battle. I scatter, I burn my enemies’ tents. I take away their flocks and herds. The Turks pay me a golden tresure, yet I am poor! Because I am a river to my people!

Auda Abu Tayi, “Lawrence of Arabia”


[In jail]
Susan Vance: Anyway, David, when they find out who we are they’ll let us out.
David Huxley: When they find out who you are they’ll pad the cell.

“Bringing Up Baby”


Max: War, murder, death – all the same to you as bottles of beer, and the daily business of life is a corrupt comedy. You even shatter the sensation of time and space into split seconds, instant replays. You’re madness, Diana. Virile madness, and everything you touch dies with you. But not me. Not as long as I can feel pleasure and pain… and love.

“Network”


More later…

Tim
“My hovercraft is full of eels.”

Rodd, “If you dare speak to an officer like that again, I shall scream the house down!” sounds like Privates On Parade to me, do I get the prize?

My favourite quote, used pretty much anywhere, is “Oh yes, its a very nice” with a French accent, from the Monty Python and the Search for the Holy Grail.


It only hurts when I laugh.

My three favorite Holy Grail quotes that I do work into conversation whenever appropriate (or inappropriate, whichever is funnier):

“It’s just a flesh wound!”
“I’m not dead yet!”
“I fart in your general direction!”

I just thought of another quote that I use on my husband whenever he’s dumb enough to suggest I rise and shine:
“I’ll rise, but I damn well won’t shine,” spoken by John Malkovich in The Glass Menagerie.

Another of Malkovich’s lines from that movie that I’ve used to describe Ichabod Crane-looking guys (though I can’t remember exactly how it’s phrased):
“What he lacks in a chin, he makes up for in a nose.”


“I hope life isn’t a big joke, because I don’t get it,” Jack Handy