"Have a safe summer!"

The BBQ Pit
#1

Not “Relax! Have fun!”
Not “Make your way through Shakespeare’s comedies!”
Not “Don’t forget to catch lightning bugs and eat lots of ice cream!”

But “Have a safe summer!”

That’s the best that administrators could post on the illuminated message board outside the elementary school. We’ll have to look at it until, oh, end of August or so.

What are we raising here: a nation of candyassed morons? Why not go the distance and make it a full-scale public nuisance:

“Kids and even some adults suffer horrible, untimely, painful deaths every year. It’s true! Ask anyone! Try not to become a statistic. Don’t get electrocuted in a lightning storm. Don’t fall off a ride at Six Flags. Don’t approach raccoons that are out for a stroll in the middle of the day. Don’t play in traffic. Don’t FUCK UP.”

Thanks for listening.

#2

Don’t be silly. They’d never have enough letters to spell all that out.

#3

At my high school’s antiprom*, the motto was:

Try Not To Die!
Within 5 years, 4 of my friends were dead. 1 motorcycle accident, 2 ODs, 1 his wife shot him.

If only they had taken heed of the warning! :frowning:
*antiprom was the dance half the school went to. Everybody hated the Preps, so us Heads had lots of crossovers at our party.