I’ve had to use a manual wheelchair my entire life . Actually, I came out of my mother’s womb in a tiny, crappy hospital wheelchair. I’ve dealt with being appreciably “different” my entire life - it’s never been a noticeable social problem. None of the other kids mocked me when I was a young cripple, even when i couldn’t join in any reindeer games. I was just another kid, then just another young adult. Finally, at age 23, I’ve encountered not one, not two, but at least three people who find my disability incredibly amusing. All of a sudden, in the same semester. I guess that’s what I get for not having my B.A. & being the fuck out of college.
Two of the fuckheads (Frick & Frack) are in my math class. For the first couple months of the semester Frick giggled when I came into class or arranged my special table/desk thing so that I could see the board. I was oblivious to it until a classmate brought it up (“I want to slap him when he laughs at you…”). When I caught him I gave him the “I can easily arrange for my foot to be up your ass” look a couple times. I thought I’d shut his punk-ass up, as the blatant laughing ceased. He’d figured out I loathed him - he informed a fellow classmate. Frick had to lie, though, & say I called him an asshole.
The laughing’s stopped but I’ve noticed something new. There’s this over-tanned, vacant-eyed, bad-haircutted, wannabe hairdresser chick (Frack) who jokes around with Frick so he won’t turn his rapier wit on her. I’ve noticed that when I come in now, she just goes, “wheelchair” & smiles a bit. I’ll have to dress her down as well.
If that weren’t enough of a pattern to make me feel conspicuous, I got it from this group of guys who walked past my friend & I the other day. I dunno what they said, exactly, but I heard “chick” & “wheelchair”. Other people nearby were funny about it - “Don’ worry, we got yer back!”, but I was ready to bitchslap someone.
Why the fuck am I an object of ridicule all of a sudden? I went through twenty-three years almost never having to deal with open mocking. Why are all these assholes coming out of the woodwork now? And, more importantly, what the hell is so goddamn funny? I’m a regular looking chick with a tongue piercing & a leather jacket. Wow. How incredible. I should growl at Frick next time I notice him trying to fuck with me - really startle him.
For crying out loud, you’d think those assholes would have learned something by the time they got to college. Don’t they have something better to do? I might expect such crapola in junior high school, but once you’re past 12, it’s a bit passé.
Maybe they’ve never seen a pierced tongue before. Some people don’t get out from under their rocks much.
“You know what? I’m not fucking stupid. I hear what you’re saying. And I just thought I’d mention that I find it completely fucking sad that despite the fact that you little shits are in college, you still have maturity of third graders. I may be in a wheelchair, but at least I’m not some insecure little fucks like yourselves. So go piss off. If you have something to say about me, you can say it to my face.”
I could not say that any better. I would confront these fucks, but make sure that other people are around so that they get the embarassment factor real good as well. These morons deserve embarassment as well as a good whomp’in…I got a bat:)
No. Don’t do that. Have a bunch of your friends catch them in front of a crowd, and say basically the same thing. Make them the outsiders - it’s what assholes like that hate the most.
Either find some way to mock and humiliate them yourself, or send a friend. Confronting these types directly - short of physical force - is useless.
I think I’d go with, “My god, I haven’t had someone make fun of me for being in a wheelchair since I was in 6th grade. How old did you say you were again?” Then smirk and leave.
Man, reading your OP brought back terrible memories of practically my whole schooling life.
I was born with Scoliosis [a pretty common thing, you’d think] yet I was picked almost everyday. I also noticed that the older the people [say, grade 12’s] and especially the males, would walk past and call me “Hunchy” or something to that extent.
I learnt to ignore them, that didn’t work [I just bottled it up inside] and instead returned their insults to them. So if they said “Hunchy!” I’d say “Dumbass!” That usually shut them up.
Or if they’d yell “Hunchy!” I’d say “My god! That’s a new one! I’ve never heard that before!” Stupid jocks.
So, moving on, I’d have to say that the older the person [from grade 6 to say, the first few years of college] the more immature they become. Just ignore them and kick some ass in college.
Cosmopolitan and Broken Doll, I’m sorry either of you got treated that way.
Cosmo, I’m not surprised that you weren’t mocked as a child. I’ve noticed that, while most kids with disabilities are targets of ridicule, kids who are blind, deaf or in a wheelchair are usually exempt. The problem is, so many Very Special portrayals of disabled people are misleading: they make it seem as if the disabled person just has this one slight difference from everyone else that can be overlooked by anyone who’s open minded, instead of showing that a person with a disability has to live with it, and incorporate it into their lifestyle.
Broken Doll, I have a friend with scoliosis, and he says that he often heard, “Why do you wear such square clothes?” (in the late sixties! He missed the whole psychedelia explosion!) Because kid-clothes were the only ones that FIT him! He used to say, “Well, why don’t you buy me a whole new wardrobe?” and give his clothes sizes and so on. This would shut them up for a few weeks, but then they’d forget and start again. Although he did have one friend, a girl, who was into tie-dyeing and dyed him some kid-sized shirts!
Anyway, my point is that most people either underestimate, or in some cases overestimate, the limitations placed on a person with scoliosis or other disabilities. (My friend also had someone ask him, “If you swim for therapy, why don’t you surf?..Have you ever TRIED?..Whaddaya mean, you couldn’t keep your balance? You’d get better at it as you went along!”) But when they see someone who’s blind, deaf or in a wheelchair, they figure, “Well, she’s doing well for herself just being out of the house,” and don’t question anything.
But I’m still aghast that Cosmo’s fellow students would act that way. I’ve known college students to be thoughtless, but never ignorant.
You know, the thing that used to hurt me the most was that just because I had a pretty bad case of Scoliosis [which had NOTHING to do with my intellectual abilities], teachers would give me special consideration [I just wanted to be treated like the other kids], my friend’s parents would look at me like scum [and sometimes forbid their children from playing with me], or treat me like I was mentally retarded. I used to come home crying to my mother “Mum! Why do all of the parents [mothers especially] think I’m stupid?” she’d tell me that they just didn’t understand, so they were afraid. This was the 90’s for Christ sakes!
sigh I still have a whole lot of pent-up agression and sadness about my childhood treatment, but I’ll save that for another day.
I have two words for the shit that has been rained down on you, Broken Doll- Stephen Hawkings. Period.
It cuts both ways, I worked at a summer camp for mentally retarded adults for a year or two. I had a guy in my group, fairly high functioning- and just fucking drop dead gorgeous. I heard several of the staff say ( these were pretty green staffers ), " But man, just look at him, he looks fine ! "… EXCUSE ME?
That’s the beautiful thing about the Internet- our deep-rooted preconcieved notions of who and what people are are wiped clean. We have met your words, your thoughts and feelings, and react accordingly.
One can arrange an ass whoopin’ just about anywhere, just about anytime. Usually for no charge. One well placed and clearly pronounced “wheelchair” during the melee would do wonders. I guarantee a word would never be spoken about it or about you ever again. Sometimes you have to MAKE people act civilezed.
I vote for the direct confrontation in front of witnesses approach. Make sure the professor is already there, and that your classmate friend is close at hand. When Frick or Frack says something, turn to them, and say loudly in an absolutely incredulous voice, “Excuse me, but are you making fun of me because I’m in a wheelchair??”
That will leave it to Frick and Frack to explain themselves, in front of the class, the teacher, and everybody. And if they deny it, then your friend can stick up for you.
Cosmopolitan I’d say you got the right attitude - screw the pinheads. There are different paths to undermine their efforts at harassing you. But I would say don’t go down the “verbal exchange of insults” in the hall it would just bring you down. And as far as staging a confrontation in front witnesses don’t count on it doing much good. Talk to the prof privately and ask for suggestions since they are souring your class experience etc etc. In other words remain an adult in control of the situation - F&F have the problem not you!
You are a HOT chick and just let yourself shine and the idiots will soon be eating your dust baby!
I love you people I’ve thought about the direct, “At first I thought you two were just juvenile assholes - but then I realized that not all kids are obnoxious fucks, so I decided that you must just be EXCEPTIONAL assholes”, approach. I figure I’ll do that at the beginning of the last week of class & end the semester with a bang. A kind of lovely parting gift for my little friends.
I figure it’ll have the most effect then - I didn’t mention it in my OP, but Frick has had a beat-down coming since the beginning of the semester. From everyone, I mean. He’s generally disruptive & most of my classmates would probably have done him some level of violence already, if it didn’t require effort & wouldn’t get them in trouble. I figure dressing both Frick & Frack down regarding their mocking of me will ensure he’ll get some nasty comments, at least.
As for the “talk to the professor” option, I’m not gonna go that way b/c my prof. is the original Captain Spineless. I don’t know if he’s stupid, oblivious, apathetic, numb, or what, but the man hasn’t even a modicum of control over his class. Not a modi-fucking-cum. As is evidenced by the fact that Frick hijacked the class & Prof. Spineless’ answer (two months into the course, might I add) was to seat us - no kidding - in alphafuckingbetical order. Do you hear me? A college class. Alphabetical seating. He finally kicked the idiot out of class for one day right before the Spring Break.
Frick’s quieted down a bit now with the general disruption…Interesting. Another thing; he’s blathered on a few times about how his daddy’s a lawyer. It’s crossed my mind to do a little cursory research & see if I can’t somewhat realistically threaten him with a lawsuit - harrassment or slander or something like that… Would have to be sooner than the end of the semster, though, so I could see if anything changes.
