There is no need (well, was, he’s dead now) for Roger Ebert or critics like him - these people are writers and either people will pay to be entertained by what they write or not. Similarly, there’s no need for Barney, My Little Pony, The Godfather or any other work of art. They either catch and hold the interest of viewers or they don’t.
And when you are Dictator of Taste, you’ll have the option of putting your opinion into force of law. Until then, all you have is your opinion and while it’s as valuable as anyone else’s, we question its validity, because you say many things that are foolish and ignorant.
As a side note, regarding your seeming affect of speaking beyond your claimed age, I had something like that, too. In my youth, I read a lot of trade paperbacks of MAD Magazine, typically stories that had been published 20+ years earlier, and I’m sure my speaking style was affected by it.