I just tried to feed a squirrel shelled sunflower seeds from my bare hands knowing full well that I could get bitten. I chronicled one such incident involving peanuts here on the Dope a few years ago. You’d think I would learn.
Fortunately, the squirrel this time was smarter than I. Though she took hold of my finger twice in her mouth, she didn’t bite down. Maybe it was because sunflower seeds don’t look similar to fingers the way peanuts can, thus she was more prepared when it didn’t feel like a seed or a nut either (though the owner of said digit has been occasionally accused of being the latter.) For whatever reason, I got off easier this time than I deserved.
What things have you known not to do but did anyway?
Using a wooden spoon with a mixer.
Showing open contempt for a Korean teacher who has the authority to beat me with a big stick.
Finishing a bottle of tequila with friends.
Taking Tylenol after a night of heavy drinking.
Washing a burrito down with two kamikaze shots.
Cooking over a stove naked.
Moving in with a pothead roommate.
Pissing off the DM right before a D&D session.
Relying on my sense of time instead of setting a timer/alarm.
Oh, the list goes on. Thankfully, not all of these things have ended as badly as they could have.
I took one look at the “stand mixer” (it was a hand mixer with a stand) I was told a friend had and said, “There’s no way this whole recipe is fitting in that tiny bowl…”
Yet I tried anyway.
Speaking of Tylenol, getting a toothache and downing 222s. (325mg acetaminophen with 8mg codeine. This is a behind-the-counter medication available in Canada). A lot of 222s. Upwards of 6,000mgs of acetaminophen plus around 150mg codeine (~18 tablets) in an 8 hour period. Stuck between a great deal of pain and potential liver damage, I chose the immediate relief. Probably stupid, but I didn’t suffer any permanent damage.
Giving my former housemate’s toddler a box of tissues for Xmas. When I’m not going to be there to clean them up. (The Monster (the toddler) loved it. I’m told her father was pissed that my gift was more popular than any of his.)
Losing my temper with anyone, really. My temper is really vile, and losing it is a Bad Thing.
Yeah, it was stupid. I had taken so many that I was feeling a dull burning sensation and a little tightness in my chest. That was the point at which I knew I’d taken too many and stopped. What I should have done is taken the rest of the day off work and gone to the damn dentist.
Almost did that last week. But I chose to call my bosses on their shit and have them humiliated by the VP and HR. They had to publicly recant everything they’d been telling us that was against Organizational Policy. (Because they thought our department was a special case that was above the rules. They were wrong.)
Which then resulted in false charges being levied against me and being Suspended With Pay through the end of the year.
So I’ll probably end up being fired for that and having to ponder whether or not it is worth the time and money to sue their asses.
I knew that it could very probably end up badly, but I chose to do it anyway.
And I’m quite happy that they got bitchslapped by upper management, even if I had to pay the price to protect my co-workers from their shit.
Mine involved squirrels too! I wrote a whole post on it last week. The gist being, my housemate hired someone to trap our squirrels and I thought it would be nice if I could bring the trapped squirrels to my moms yard (she likes and feeds her yard squirrels). The final outcome of which was that my mom, myself, and my two housemates all ended up pissed at each other, and the squirrels still ended up dead.
Egads, how did I forget this: Actually looking at goatse, tubgirl, lotus breast, 2girl1cup, or any of the other internet phenomenon that people always boast about how awful they are… to make you want to look because nothing could possibly be that bad.
