Have you ever felt like saying "fuck you" to certain people in your life?

If so, this is the thread for you. (The thread title does NOT apply to other Dopers, of course. We never say that to them.)

Fuck you to my late husband’s cousin who has decided she’s not speaking to me in spite of all the stuff I’ve done for her, running her around to doctor’s appointments, taking her out to lunch on her birthday, helping her out with computer stuff, blahblahblah. (I talked about this briefly in another thread.) On New Year’s Day at a family gathering, I discovered this when she refused to acknowledge my existence. Fuck her and good riddance. I’ve been wracking my brain trying to figure out what I did or said and the most likely thing is that LAST CHRISTMAS (2016) I said some tacky things about thump and she is a thump supporter. Other than that, I got nuttin.

Fuck you to a girlfriend of mine with whom I have been having lunch about twice a month for… oh… FIFTEEN YEARS, who just disappears from time to time, doesn’t reply to emails, doesn’t pick up her phone. Whatever. Except when she’s ready to be friends again. Well, fuck her.

And fuck this other friend who does this thing that makes me nuts: he calls me from time to time (which is fine), but the ONE TIME I can be sure he won’t call is when he says he’s going to. WHY does he say he’s going to? IDK. Just don’t say anything and call or not as you feel like it. He’s been back and forth to the ER recently and yesterday he texted me about the latest doc’s report and added, “I’ll call you tomorrow,” which I correctly interpreted to mean: “I will NOT call you tomorrow.” So fuck him, too.

Okay. I feel better. Thank you for listening.

There’s a few “Fuck You” greeting cards I’ve been meaning to send.

Yes, but I mean … I just say it. Try it. It helps. I mean telling all these people here to fuck off sounds like a giant win-win for you. Why on earth are you racking your brain over this stuff?

No. Can’t do it. Once the words are out there, you can never get them back. I’ve never said FU to anyone in real life. I’m not a name-caller, nor am I one to let any old thing just come urping out of my mouth.

FU has only been said to me twice, once here (and the poster did get a warning) and once on another board. Never IRL.

OK. Well, I hope at least you’ve prepared a giant, “Oh, NOW, you’re talking to me?” eyeroll for the next time your cousin has a dental appointment.

Ooooo. :slight_smile: I like you.

I would like to say fuck you to a certain person. I cannot bring myself to do it. I am not angry, just hurt. I hate to be the hurting one. I want to scream and tell this person, but my heart says no. My head says hurt them like they hurt you. I just can’t be that mean. I wish I could.

That’s what this thread is for, honey. Let 'er rip!

Absolutely. However I have never said those words. IIRC to one person I said: “You are dead. I know because I killed you. After I left I stopped to purchase a knife and went back to your apt and thrust the knife in as soon as you opened the door. And then I went and killed him just in case you were right.” That was in 97 and I have not spoken with her since. She rarely comes to mind. Saying that to her was so cathartic after over 40 years of allowing her to push my buttons (the ones she installed.)
When it comes to friends I have a very low tolerance for bullshit. I only allowed my family to treat me like crap. :smack:

Ladies, don’t lower yourself to saying that dirty word. That’s beneath all of you, not to mention the example you’re setting for the kids. It’s disgusting.
You are above that so learn to flip the fucking bird instead.

I don’t have kids. And I also don’t flip the bird to anyone.

Thelma, i understand your reluctance to actually say it and the reasoning behind it. I have said it(well words to that effect, i have a hard time swearing in front of my mom let alone at her) and sometimes it helps. Its what finally gets the point across.

Yet you want to say to them, “fuck you?” I don’t get that.
Okay, try this, the Bronx cheer? You do the Bronx cheer right?

This is so cathartic!

I’ve been sitting here by myself (watching Chiefs/Titans game while wife is working) and the dogs think I have Tourette’s. Because every now and then I sneer “Yeah, and fuck you, too, horrible boss from the 80s.”

But horrible bosses are horrible by definition. It’s the Guy Pals that have decided to act like Drama Queens that baffle me. I thought that was the advantage to having Manly Men as friends was that you don’t have to worry “Oh, noes, did little Butchie Butch get his whities too tightie?”

But I have one guy friend who just decided he hates me for some obscure reason which he can’t reveal.

Y’know what? That would’ve crushed me a decade ago, but I’m stronger now, and my kids/wife/god/friends love me, so I really don’t need your affection or approval. If you want to change your mind and let me know why, I’ll listen… but if not… feel free to fuck off.

I want to express it, to get if off my chest, without doing the damage of actually saying it irreparably to the person’s face. You seriously don’t get that?

Why do you supposed saying fuck you to another Doper is considered crossing a line in a forum where most of us don’t even know the OP’s name? Maybe because it does represent crossing a line? A line that it would be better not to cross IRL with someone you want to maintain a relationship with?

In the case of my H’s cousin, she can drive herself to the doc in the future, but I do want to stay in touch with the other two people.


Hence this thread. I’ve been “saying” it to people here I never would IRL (esp. since a family member said it to me in an argument back in the 80s, and I’ve never forgotten that…)

Dad, you did your best to convince me to attend your alma mater, and now you tell people it was all my idea. You also tell people that I can’t be that smart because I went to a lousy college.

Fuck you, Dad.

Okay, you talked me into it, fuck you person who hurt me!

Now I can’t stop,
Fuck you fuck you fuck you.
Fuck you person who wouldn’t shut up in the library
Fuck you person who cut me off at Wal-Mart
Fuck you old lady for banging my car door with yours.
Fuck you Mr.Wrekker, my love, for not telling me you weren’t gonna eat at home last night.
Fuck you coyote for howling all night, making my dogs crazy.
Fuck you dentist for bumping my cleaning for an emergency.

But it’s precisely because of how bad it is that I find it fascinating that people want to say it. It’s like, for you, the desire to say it a whole lot less bad than actually saying it. To me, it’s basically the same thing, just that saying it has consequences.

If I hate someone so much that I want to say “fuck you” to them, then that means I don’t really how it hurts them. The only thing that would hold me back is thinking about how it might negatively affect me or people I care about–which does not include the target at all.

I don’t have this middle line where I want to say it, but I care about this person too much to say it. You apparently do. And I find that interesting.

Not wrong, because that’s stupid. I can’t tell you how to feel. But interesting. It’s a different experience than mine.

It’s not that different, mind you. I have similar feelings at times. (Though I hesitate to reveal them lest they be used against me.)

Online, fuck is just how you express mild-to-moderate anger, it seems. So “fuck you” gets a huge downgrade. Heck, I’ve actually seen it as a joke.