Since this is the BBQ Pit, I might as well start a FUCK YOU thread for all the people that annoy, piss you off, or just need to be told to fuck off. I’ll start…
Fuck you, lying manager, for saying that I got the job 3 weeks ago, then saying that I didn’t get it now.
Fuck you, AOL, for deleting my web page without notice.
Fuck you, all you truck drivers that decide to cut me off for no reason and try to drive me off the road.
And finally, fuck you all my cousins in Canada. Just because I was in vacation didn’t mean for you assholes to treat everyone like shit just <strike>to get me to have fun</strike> so I had to babysit your dumbasses while you all were too busy getting stoned all day. And fuck you for almost killing me in that car accident. I wished I walked out that car the lone survivor, but, oh well, I never get what I want anyways.
Fuck you, cousin who I’ve never met. You moved to my state and I invited you over twice. The first time you called and said you were too drunk to drive over, the second time you didn’t even bother to call. I’ll call you again when I win the lottery, just so I can rub it in your face.
Most common question I ask: “What?”
Most common question I get: “Are you really hearing impaired?”
FUCK YOU!!! Ex-Fiancee who asked me to move all the way across the country to be with you(as a result I’d quit my job, told my family and friends I was leaving and given up my apartment)… only to have you join the GOD DAMN ARMY!! (at least, that’s her story, but I think her ex-boyfriend may have had a hand in undermining our relationship) Fuck you, for making me feel like it was my fault because I couldn’t bring myself to move to Korea, or where ever else they were going to send you… fuck you for the phone bills and the airfares… and a million other fuck you’s…
Fuck you, Citibank Visa for fucking up my credit though they should be fucking with my ex-fucking-wife 'cause the fucking debts were run up in her fucking name to help her fucking boyfriend who she was fucking fucking behind my fucking back more than two and a half fucking years ago and I’m still fucking paying for it.
Fuck you, whichever government moron it was who deregulated the banking industry, causing an orgy of mergers and acquisitions, one of the casualties of which was my beloved hometown bank, replaced by an impersonal, inflexible, monolitihic corporate behemoth that won’t let me decide what I want done with my own money. Fuck your mother straight to hell!
Fuck you, Bill Gates, for making crappy software that doesn’t work right, due to sloppy, thoughtless, bug-ridden design that the people you have working for you apparently don’t have time to fix before the final product is released. And then you just come out with a new product with even more stupid mistakes. I am going to track you down, Bill, and when I find you, I am going to debug you and reboot you. I am going to defragment your hard drive. Do you hear me, Bill? I am going to give you a beta test you will never forget! An apple a day keeps the doctor away, you know. Oh, and beware of the penguins.
Fuck every politician in my province. You bastards have done everything in your power to drive small business into the ground.
I have a tiny business, with an employee count of 2, for fuck’s sake! I spend more and more time filling out forms, looking up regulations and collecting taxes for you, and still you keep piling it on.
Fuck you, assholes! I’ve never voted for any of you, and I never will.
When you see a ballot that says “None of the above,” that’s me, morons.
A huge fuck you to people who fake injuries and claim to be disabled. (don’t ask)
Fuck you! Fuck you! I hope you actually DO get permanently crippled!!!
Bwuhaaaaaaa!
Fuck you Burger King for giving me food poisioning and a bad case of the runs, again. But then again, what would I expect from a microwaved burger with yellow lettuce covered in mayo, pink tomatoes, onion cores, meat that tastes like dull, dried out shit, and soggy buns.
Fuck you Toyota for making a piece of shit van. Now we have to replace the steering column and the damn fuel injectors every year. We’re sticking to American, thanks to you scamming assholes.
Fuck you to all my friends for <strike>sharing</strike> shoving their sex lives into my face, just to get me all jealous. I don’t give a shit if you want to give a blow job to your boyfriend or not, just shut up about it!
Fuck you, Candy Manship, and fuck your convocations to Hell. Why the fuck do these bastards think I have nothing better to do with my fucking Tuesday afternoons than go to fucking convocations. I don’t want a fucking class ring, so why the fuck should I go to the convocation about it? But it’s FUCKING MANDATORY!! So I have to fucking do my laundry and write a fucking lab report AND go to this FUCKING convo. I could do my lab later, during my fucking extended weekend, but I also have 7 fucking journals due when I get back from the only fucking visit I have at home for another fucking month.
And a big FUCK YOU to the inconsiderate bastards in Dining Service. I suppose yu need to get 7 glasses of milk at a time so you don’t have to haul your fat ass 6 feet to the dispenser, so its’ perfectly justified that I had to wait 5 minutes to get my 1 fucking glass. And fuck you, too, stupid bitch who had her 17 friends standing all around while I’m trying to make a fucking sandwhich, because all the fuicking entrees are shit. Thanks to you I had to stand with my tray like a jackass while all your damn friend who already had their food were in the fucking way.
Fuck you Canon for making a piece of shit printer that never works.
Fuck you to my old high school, for proving to everyone again and again that they’re all self-centered rich snobby dumbasses.
Fuck you to the person who wanted me to wait for her to study for a test, then never showed up. Oh well, you’re the one getting the F, not me.
Fuck you, Highway Patrol, for turning your sirens on me, then when I start to pull over, you speed off past me.
When is Saturday going to come? I’m not having a good week.
