“Cunt” trumps “fuck” in the US.
I seriously hate the ‘c’ word. I cannot think of a reason to ever use it.
My first draft of my novel had over 500 ‘‘fucks’’ not counting variants, e.g. ‘‘fucking,’’ ‘‘pigfucker’’ etc. Not necessarily a great thing, I’m constantly having to weed them out so they don’t lose their impact. I’m going to have to do an entire edit just for removing ‘‘fucks.’’
Also, I fantasize about spitting in Trump’s face. That’s a kind of ‘fuck you’ I suppose, but I think I would be without words in that scenario.
Thanks for sharing your thoughts and your experiences. I don’t understand why some parents are so goddamned awful and I am sorry your Dad was such an asshole. I think I’m better off without my Mom, but it still sucks. When she’s not in the throes of mental illness, she’s pretty cool… but when she is raging or paranoid she’s impossible to deal with. At this point I don’t even recognize the good parts of her character I used to see - she used to be a math and science geek and now she’s become anti-intellectual and delusional. I’m not into painting conservatives with a broad brush but she’s gone down a scary, dark path of the worst kind of political ignorance. During that last exchange we had, she just started ranting at me about Bernie Sanders planting spies at Trump rallies, and we weren’t having any sort of conversation where that would be relevant, it came just right the fuck out of nowhere. She used to be fair and open-minded and moderate. I’m not even sure the person I miss still exists.
It’s actually the Dope that helped me come to terms with this, I think one Doper said to me, ‘‘You are never going to get what you need from your mother,’’ and it finally sank in. it was the death of hope but the birth of some kind of liberation.
My whole life was a struggle to attend to her emotional needs, and wow, I am just fucking done.
But I do think about the good things she did for me, and gave me, and how I want to pass along those good things to our future kids. As far as the abuse… it will never happen to my children. That’s a triumph in itself. Currently, I have no children to nurture so I spoil my cats rotten. But we are going to adopt soon, we’re on the waiting list, it’s just a matter of time. I predict there’s going to be healing just in the act of child-rearing and being able to give my kids the stability I didn’t have.
I wish this wasn’t such a favorite of misogynists because it’s such a fun word. I love profanity. As in, I find it linguistically fascinating that some strings of letters are banal and others are naughty and others are outrageously offensive. And it’s so arbitrary, too. Why is ‘‘fuck’’ inherently more offensive than ‘‘screw’’? Because society decided, that’s why. It’s fuckin’ weird. (I can still put ‘‘cunt’’ in my erotic writing and get away with it… at least there’s that.)
First recorded instance of it is in 1988.
It’s too bad trump isn’t a four letter word.
I agree, especially in many contexts. That was what I was thinking of when I said, “Of course there are others I think approach it, particularly with context, but that’s just about the biggest.”
Cunt is worse, especially when used in reference to a woman. If I call my male friend a cunt, he might laugh. If I say, “Fuck you”, maybe not.
Wonder if it’s always been that way, though. Wonder if ‘cunt’ was considered worse in say, the late 60’s to mid 70’s. Sexism and misogyny was pretty rampant and common, even more so than today.
I’m glad you have SOME good memories of your mother, and that she did things for you that are worthy of being passed on to your children. It does seem like you’re working through your guilt over what you said to your mother, and that too is good news. I’d hate for you to break free of the things your mother put you through, only for you to put yourself through more.
Move on, remember the good times and make better memories with your children.
For that very reason, “cunt” was worse. These days, a woman might deadpan call a friend a ‘cunt’ as easily as we used to use ‘bitch’.
Note: woman, friend. Don’t try this at home.
As for ‘fuck’ v ‘screw’, it’s the short, hard end to the syllable, isn’t it? Same reason ‘bitch’, but not ‘vixen’ became a curse.
But why ‘asshole’ instead of ‘jackass’, I wonder …
All those English-speaking people who use it as often as they use articles or more have made it quite the wet petard, and there are other words the same people will not touch. So from the outside looking in the idea that fuck is “the big one” is quite confusing.
When someone complains to me about something trivial I’ve done and I do not contest their claim, saying, “alright, I admit, I’m a cunt” serves as an apology while getting a point across.
Someone calling themselves a cunt would make me so uncomfortable that I’d probably avoid them in the future. That might just be me – I’ve known too many people who put themselves down (to the point of a diagnosis of “self-hatred” with one).
That would bother me, too.
"The 49-year-old actor has been tormented by mental illness for much of his life. But he has never before spoken of it with such candour. This week for the first time, in a programme to be broadcast on BBC2, he bares his soul.
He was first referred to a psychiatrist at Uppingham public school, where, he says, he was “in a constant state of edginess” and " impossible to handle".
By the time he was 17, he was suicidal. “Everything that happens is because you are a cunt,” he said. “That’s because I’m a complete wanker, that’s because I’m an arsehole, yes. You, you, you kind of almost have a Tourette’s view of yourself.”"
Are you from the US? This is a really shocking word to most people in the US. I understand it’s not as big a deal in other parts. When used against a woman here, the general connotation is “you are nothing more than a hole to stick it in.” Pretty grotesque, especially in light of sexual violence.
I guess that’s why it’s against the rules here. I was not crazy about that rule but in reality it’s a slur against women, and we don’t allow slurs. I guess I would be pretty upset if someone used it against me, in the sense that it brings to mind every time I have been treated like an object. Calling a man a cunt is more like calling a man a bitch, but even that is an insult based on the implication “you are like a woman.” I don’t think that’s often the intent behind it, language rooted in prejudice just has a tendency to proliferate.
I’m not telling anyone what that word means in their own country. This is just an attempt to explain why there can be a disconnect with US connotations. I wouldn’t want to hang out with any American comfortable with using that as an insult.
That said, I think it’s hella sexy in reference to lady parts. Explain that one.
Well, I would certainly never nag you again.
But that sounds more UK than US.
OK, so I’d only use “cunt” with my male buddies. And I lean toward the UK koont pronounciation. It’s not shocking at all when said amongst a bunch of beer swilling blokes down the pub.
I’ll also concede that “OK, guess I was being a cunt” is a bit passive-aggressive (not that there’s anything wrong with that).
Nope, no way, no how.
an arrogant self righteous indian i used to work with. God i hated him
I felt guilty this morning just saying “See you next time!” to the receptionist at an office I frequent. :smack:
Can you offer to take the dogs? If you’re able to, I mean. Something like, “I can see you all are quite busy, and dogs take so much time and I just love your dogs to pieces. What if I took them for a while? I’m right next door, so the kids could visit any time they wanted” and so on.
??
C U Next Time