*Did you ever feel you’re losing your mind
Pick a delusion and leave reality behind
It’s not often easy and not often kind
Did you ever feel you’re losing your mind
Did you ever have to finally decide
Say yes to the real world and let insanity ride
There’s so many changes and tears you must hide
Did you ever have to finally decide*
After my second child was born.
I KNEW someone was going to break in and do something dreadful to her in front of me. Usually I fixated on them drowning her in the bathtub. I was so sure this was going to happen, I didn’t want to bond with her.
At the same time, I knew that, while it was in theory possible, the odds were incredibly against it. I knew it sounded crazy, so I didn’t tell anyone.
Fast forward 3 years, after the clinical depression diagnoses, and I told my OB/GYN. Who told me - “If you had just said something then, a couple weeks on a mild tranquilizer would have prevented this whole mess.”
Ooops!
Due to sleep deprivation, yes. I had a bad case of bronchitis a few years ago and went about 3.5 days without sleeping at all because I was coughing too much and I was definitely not thinking rationally. I was just unable to follow a conversation, and would imagine things that didn’t happen. I was convinced a friend had called me and we had a rather mundane conversation; that never happened. Sooner or later the combo of medication and exhaustion kicked in, I was able to sleep, and I was much more myself, though it took another week before I truly slept well.
I feel like I’m going insane on semi regular basis, usually when I’m depressed or just generally in a bad mood but it seems like I’m watching it as a third party.
I once felt like I was loosing my mind in an unusually vivid dream. Most of my dreams are the type where bizarre things are happening, but they seem completely normal at the time. In this one I knew what I was seeing was impossible.
The dream started with me waking up and going to the bathroom to piss. I happened to look out the window, and I saw a giant chicken (taller than a human, maybe 8’?) eating my dog. My first reaction was horror and grief that something was eating my dog. Then it slowly started to dawn on me just how big that chicken was, and thus that what I was seeing was simply not possible. I kept looking, waiting for my brain to somehow resolve the view into something that made sense. It didn’t, and I couldn’t think of any possible explanation for what was happening except that I was having some kind of mental breakdown. I was just starting to wonder what was going to happen to me (asylum? drugs? shock therapy?) when I woke up.
I sometimes get really, well, confused when I get up in the mornings. Especially when I’ve been up all night or seriously tired. Not sure if this really fits the OP, but…
I remember this one time about ten years ago, after finishing a paper I went to bed at about 2-3 in the morning and had class at the ungodly hour of 6.30 the following morning for which I (inevitably) overslept. When I did wake up at about 7 or so and got out of bed I was thoroughly dazed and had this great sense of dread and urgency (probably just my mind unconsciously telling me that I had to hustle and run to school and give in an assignment I was supposed to submit at the aforementioned ungodly hour).
For reasons still unfathomable I heard a great, menacing rumble and when I pulled back the curtains I saw what I believed to be an enormous, fiery meteor hurtling down to earth! I let loose a scream that I think could’ve outdone any chick in a b-slasher movie and ran for my life downstairs out the door (only in my undies, mind you) onto the front porch still yelling like a madman (it was at this time a few of the neighbours looked out their windows to see what the commotion was about) screaming at the top of my lungs, bawling ‘we’re all gonna die!!’ while jumping up and down pointing up to the sky like a loon.
After what felt to be a good 10 minutes or so (probably only 10 seconds) out in the heat of the early sun’s rays did I realize that what I was pointing to up in the sky wasn’t a meteor, it was … the sun. :smack:
Yep the sun, maybe it was the first time I woke up that early for a while and not accustomed to the sun being that close to the horizon. Anyhoo, I sank to the ground, breathed a big sigh of relief and then just laid there on the front lawn thanking my lucky stars that the world wasn’t going to end.
Then, about 5 minutes after that I suddenly realized that I was out of the house in only my unmentionables and I tried to slink quietly back into the house. And to add injury to insult (at least an insult to my sanity) my teacher didn’t accept my excuse of not handing in my assignment on time.
After thinking about it afterwards I kinda could get how I could’ve mistaken the sun for a meteor but it always bothered me where the sound came from. I never really entertained the notion that I was going clinically bat-shit insane because it was only an isolated incident but that sound has always and I suspect will always bug me.
Are you sure they didn’t both have hearing problems? They’re more common than you think, especially in the Walkman generation and later. Some voices are harder to understand than others for people with certain kinds of hearing problems. Maybe you have a voice that is difficult to understand for people with a common hearing problem.
ETA: It’s also possible that you have the hearing problem. Having people often answer you with total non sequiturs can be a sign of that.
I think I realized something wasn’t right when I caught myself researching LD50 for the blood pressure medication I was on at the time.