Have you ever had a 'lame excuse' really happening?

By which I mean, yes, you were really late because someone tried to kidnap you or you can’t turn in the term paper because your dog really did eat it.

There were once I had to call up my friend to cancel an appointment because when coming home from base one day, I have forgotten to bring back my house keys, and my mum had to let me it. Then she went out, leaving me locked in the house because there isn’t any spare (there’s a big padlock on the apartment’s gate).

So…I couldn’t make it because I was locked in. That sounds like a lame excuse, but it is really true!

My driver license really WAS in my other pants, when I tried to order a beer at a pool hall. I actually said the words “oh, shit! My ID is in my other pants!” I had taken my ID out of my wallet earlier in the day in order to show it to a cashier somewhere, and instead of putting the ID back in my wallet, I put it in my front pocket. I spilled ranch dressing on the pants, and had to change. The wallet made it into the fresh pants, but I forgot the ID in the front pocket of the first pair.

I was writing a paper for a class (in grad school) when my computer crashed and refused to turn back on.

I really was terrified that the professor wouldn’t believe me because it’s such a lame ass excuse. She did believe me though. And I even got the paper in on time! (Cost me $80 to get it fixed on the same day though, which is a LOT when you’re a poor student.)

It was early in the morning and my project for biology class was ready to go. It was an insect collection, nicely pinned and neatly labeled. I stepped out of the room for a moment and returned to find my cat had eaten half the collection, pins and all.

Yeah, the cat ate my homework.

Hope this counts. I was late to work one day because there was a house in the road. Really. A house was being moved and I was behind it. A house being moved moves really, really, really slow.

Not so much lame as implausible. My English teacher gave as an example of an excuse she was unlikely to believe “My Aunt arrived home unexpectedly from India and we stayed up all night talking so I didn’t get my work done”. The following week I got home from school to find my Auntie and cousin sitting on the doorstep, unexpectedly back from Germany. With all the following kerfuffle and yes, staying up late talking, I genuinely didn’t remember my English homework til the next day but just gave a normal lame arse excuse for it.

Every year I attend a Abbott’s Magic Get-Together in Colon, MI. My friend was there and told me he didn’t have any vacation time to take for this event, so to get away, he told his boss that his grandmother died and he needed to take off a couple days to go to the funeral. This was on a Thursday. He found out that Saturday that his grandmother did indeed pass away and that he was going to have to take off some additional time the next week to attend her funeral and he wasn’t sure how he was going to explain this to his boss since he already used that excuse.

I was late for work one day because I really was stuck behind a school bus. The bus stopped about once per block and we were going down a two lane road (one lane my way, one lane the other). Every time the bus would turn off its stop sign/lights, I couldn’t pass it because there were cars going the other way. Sometimes I would try to turn onto a side street, but usually there was traffic blocking me (there was a highway on my side of the street, so I couldn’t just turn right).

I don’t take that route to work anymore.

I had to request a day off two days before I was scheduled to work (mind you, I was a cook and the day I needed off was Saturday…if you’ve ever worked in a restaurant you understand how hard it is to get a Saturday off,) because I really did have a funereal to go to.

One time trying to buy liquor I really didn’t have my driver’s license with me - but I was old enough. I swear.

My grandpa owned a concrete company for 50 years before retiring and he still helps out a little when the current owner asks. He had some plans sitting on the kitchen table, but walked off to do something. He came back a few minutes later and both of his dogs had gotten on the table and shredded the plans. He had to request another set because his dogs had eaten them.

I once handed my homework in on lined paper, saying “I’m sorry, I know you said it had to be unlined, but by the time I realized we were already out of town, we’ve been spending every weekend in Pamplona as my mother’s in the hospital.” The teacher took it in with this "o… k… " look on her face, verified the excuse with another teacher who knew my family well and graded the homework.

If she hadn’t accepted the excuse, that would have been a donut - of the kind that doesn’t feed you.

One time in eighth grade I did my homework and left my workbook and answer sheet on the sofa. And I swear to God, the dog ate it. He chewed it all up. At the next parent-teacher conference my mom vouched for me (but the teacher had believed me anyway).

Many years ago I took a computer science course in college that involved a major language programming project. Because it was all done on an IBM PC using the 8088 instruction set, the projects were to be turned in on floppy disk. On the day the project was due I had my disk in my knapsack, and put it down next to my chair at a pizza place at lunchtime about 30 minutes before the class time, where it was stolen while I sat with my feet a few inches from my bag.

I had to tell the professor I couldn’t turn in my project because “it just got stolen, like, 30 minutes ago”. Fortunately for me the professor said “as long as it’s in the submission box by 8pm tonight when I take it from the department office, it’s on time”, and of course I had the actual program on my own computer at home. I only had to go home, make another copy onto a new floppy and come back and turn it in. The downside was that I was commuting to school with a nearly 90 minute commute EACH WAY, so I lost 3+ hours of my afternoon doing this. Grrr.

Oh yeah, and another one where I did NOT get off the hook: in 9th grade, I took an in-class math test which I thought I aced, and got a 75% on it. It turned out one of the problems worth (you guessed it) 25% of the test was on the REVERSE side of the test paper, which was double sided but only one sheet of paper. This was the first test of the year in this class, and I had never had a double-sided test before (of the type where you were supposed to write the answers on the paper itself, not on separate sheets of paper or a test booklet), and no I didn’t think it was unusual that I finished the test with about 10 minutes left, that happened all the time.

Most tests in my school era were printed using a mimeograph, not a photocopy machine (blue on white with that distinct smell), so to make a double sided test sheet was really going out of the way to do so. Dang environmentally minded teacher…

I gave up going to work one day due to a turkey truck rollover on the main road into the cities. This was back before cellphones and we were less than 2 miles from the main highway, but more than 20 miles from home. The turkey truck tried to go around a car, got a tire stuck in mud, and flipped. Dead, injured, and scared birds all around. No way to go around, no alternative way in that I was aware of.
We sat in traffic for almost an hour, until a highway maintenance guy started directing us to turn around.
So we went back home.

My boss did not believe me, so I emailed her a link to the DoT accident memo. Until she retired, if I was late she would ask if turkeys were involved.

Yes. Many moons ago, I’d cashed my income support cheque and left the bulk of it - ie. £110 - on a table in my living room while I nipped out of the house. 30 minutes later, I returned to find my 6mth old pup had eaten the lot of it.

I had to make a claim for an “emergency payment”, whereby after initially getting knocked back, I managed to convince them that if I was trying to rip them off, I’d have thought of a far better story.

I missed some sort of family party because I had pulled a muscle in my backside while coughing and was having a hard time getting up and down. I was only in my early 20’s, mind you.

Had the same basic thing happen to me in a genetics class. Most profs, to cut down on cheating, would give out two different copies of the exam (questions all scrambled and such), in alternating rows in the classroom. I got form A, assumed form B was for folks in the even rows, and never bothered to acquire a copy. The prof gives me back form A the next week (100% natch), and, in a wink wink nudge nudge kind of way, said he swears he graded my form B, but then lost it.

Was the only class I’ve ever had where I got a 100% on everything. Other than that, of course, even tho officially I did anyway.

I swear it’s in the mail!

I was young and had a lease on a car that I had difficulty paying from time to time. I was a bit behind when I made arrangements to send a back payment and a current payment in the mail. Right then the post office went on strike (for a few months as I recall) and my payments were somewhere between me and the leasing office.

The leasing office was a long, inconvenient distance from me, but a threat of repossession prompted me to drive that distance after work, late at night.

I popped my payment through the letter slot at the office and went home. The next day they called and asked some strange questions, including where was my payment. It turned out that about a half an hour after I deposited my envelope the leasing office was robbed of many things - including the envelope holding my payment.

It would have been funny if I hadn’t been grilled by police who were trying to figure out if I was in on it . . .