I’ve always believed there was some point guiding my existance. Not really religion, but a very strong belief in fate. I felt everything happened for a reason. I was so sure of this. I was sure something out there was watching me.
Lately I’ve begun feeling that this is not true. There is no one and nothing out there, and the universe is nothing but chaos. Good things could happen to me, but it’s just as likely the current trail of shit I’m on will just keep going. I’ve got no reason to beleive in good luck, and every reason to fear bad.
The thing is, I liked having faith in the universe. It helped me calm down when things go wrong. It made me steadier. The world seems colder and more alone now.
Have you ever lost your faith? And what does one do at a time like this?
To me, the idea that “everything happens for a reason” is a uniquely horrifying and depressing thought. It has ramifications I don’t even want to begin to contemplate. There are some things that just don’t have a silver lining to look for.
For myself, I’m not sure. I certainly have no faith now, and I used to say I did, but I don’t know if that was ever true. I don’t think so, so I guess I never lost it.
I had a lot of religious faith when I was a kid. I went to Christian school, and I guess the constant mental battery made me break down-- I actually used to have nightmares about going to hell unless I followed the strict guildines for Salvation.
Yeah, I lost my faith-- probably about a day after I graduated. Reading and a curious mind pushed the process along.
I am not scared or upset by the knowledge that life itself has no greater “meaning”, or that I am an infantesimal speck in a vast universe. I’ve always suspected that it’s ego which makes these concepts so hard for people to accept-- some people just can’t deal with the notion that they’re not important, that there’s no deity who watches over them as an individual. Moreover, some people are horrified by the idea that when they die, they cease to exist. To me, that’s sheer self-importance.
Yes, I have lost my faith. And yes, it was easier to believe the great Easter Bunny/Santa Claus in the sky would take care of me no matter how irresponsible I was. We live in a scary world with Osama Ben Laudins, Jeffry Daumers and George Bushes and it is nice to have a celestial security blanket. Some people can’t function without it. Others can.
What does one do? Well, either retreat into the coccoon or step out on your own. It’s not always easy, but there it is.
Yes, I lost my faith around puberty or so. It was pretty rough, and a part of me wishes I still believed the fairy tales. When I’m going through a rough time, I wish I could just “put it in God’s hands” and my mother puts it, and somehow that make me feel better.
I’m going through a rough time now, waking up with anxiety attacks every morning, and involuntarily losing weight (which is actually a silver lining, I’m overweight). It’d be awfully nice if I could just think “God will take care of this for me” or “This is part of God’s plan and in his hands”, but that’s not to be. I know it’s just my effort and random chance that’ll get me out of this hole, which may not be enough. But I know it probably will be enough.
I celebrate the day(s) I lost my “faith,” whatever that is.
If you no longer believe that “everything happens for a reason,” is “chaos” the only alternative? How about believing in cause and effect, which doesn’t have to involve the supernatural?
I started losing my faith years ago but it completely died when I lost my baby daughter to a heart problem. My wife still goes to church (and my extended family is still VERY Catholic), and my two younger sons and daughter still go with her and attend sunday school (my oldest boy is a man grown…and something of an agnostic himself), but for me there is nothing left. I’m done with all that and have never looked back.
When I was young, I had faith. I was raised in a pretty religious family (well, half of it, anyway). I was convinced that I was ‘saved’, and I could feel Jesus’s presence with me, comforting me when times were bad, yada yada. It wasn’t a conscious choice - that’s just the way I grew up.
Around the time I was maybe 10 or 11 (or maybe a little earlier), I started having questions about the Bible - things that didn’t make sense, or conflicted with that I was learning in science class, or were just illogical. Sometime shortly thereafter, my faith just went away. Again, it wasn’t a conscious decision. I just realized one day that I didn’t believe any of it. The best analogy would be the process of learning that there is no Santa Claus. There was no big epiphany - just a gradual process of reason and facts displacing an old world view. By the time I was 13 or 14 I was completely agnostic.
Though I had long had my doubts, my grandmother’s death was final straw for me. She was an incredibly kind, loving, devout woman. She died of cancer, very slowly and painfully. I concluded either 1) God (the universe, what have you) is an evil son of a bitch or 2) there is no higher power, rhyme or reason to how this all works. I consider No. 2 the more comforting alternative.
Sometimes I wish I still had faith. I see the joy and comfort it brings to others. If anything, though, my loss of faith has made me more committed to leading an ethical life. If all we have is one another, well, then, we’d better look out for each other.
Up until my early teens, I was a devout Christian. Then I started reading about Christianity, which led to reading about other religions, which led to the discovery that all religions are nothing more than a con game and a scam.
Now I am an agnostic. I fully understand that no one knows if there is a ghod of any kind or not. I don’t discount the possibility of there being one or some sort, I just don’t think the odds are very high. And if there is one, then like Spider Robinson says, he/she/it is an iron.
For over a decade, this metaphor has bothered me. There was a quote I read somewhere that went something like: If X is a god of X-y, then my god is an iron. But I can’t remember the formulation, or where I read it. Do you know?
I have long been an agnostic - maybe even what you might call a Seeker. I had always felt that I had a connection with God, whoever he/she was.
Two years ago I went through a very bad operation in which they almost lost me. (for those who have followed some of my story, there is no discontinuity here - last year I went through a similar thing, but the first time occurred two and half years ago in July of 03.) After that time I could never find the connection, could never reconnect. And still haven’t. It wasn’t so much a losing of faith, just a loss of a feeling of being connected to God.
I see God as a creator who gives us rewards/punishments after we reach decaying-corpse status. I don’t see him as one who intervenes on humanity, just lets nature take its course and we map out our own destiny, sometimes having bad luck. But we are then judged by how well we handle the good and the bad. So my faith has never really been shaken by the question of “How can a just God let [bad thing that happened] happen?”
That question, however, has destroyed my faith in Superman.