And, if you did, did it lead to a whirlwind romance? A friendship that lasted a lifetime?
I’ve gotten a few from some students over the years. Now, not to put much stock into reincarnation and such, but I taught a Navy guy this past summer whom I hit it off with splendidly. I once caught him looking at me with this goofy half-cockeyed grin after a very productive session (he was trying to pass some Navy-related test)-felt like I could have followed the guy into the bowels of the battle of the century, without hesitation.
My current good friend and training partner. I had seen him working out at the gym, and went over and introduced myself, and said that we should train together. He agreed, and we have trained together for almost a year, becoming good friends in the meantime. Even though I’m 24 years older than him, we see eye-to-eye on most things.
Yup. When I flew into Colombo last year, I had booked ahead at a little (6-room) hotel, and my flight arrived after midnight. There was supposed to be a shuttle service, and when I asked the meeting attendant, he pointed out my man, a very tall fellow with a brilliant smile striding over to me and vigorously shook my hand. We instantly hit it off, my itinerary was for ten day in Sri Lanka, and I negotiated a deal to spend the whole ten days at his hotel. He drove me everywhere on his motorbike, day and night, took me home for a meal with his family, took me to the hospital to visit his grandfather, too me shopping to buy souvenirs, took me to a Buddhist prayer service at a temple two hours away, cooked meals for me even though meals were not included in my rate.
A priest I met at a church in a town I was just visiting for a few weeks. He exuded a sense of peace, just standing in his presence was relaxing . it was like the opposite of the feeling of unease and danger people discussed in the other thread.
This is happening right now with my new hairdresser. As I’m perpetually broke, I was enticed by a shop that had just opened, advertising “Always $10 haircuts!” I went in, met her, loved the style she gave me and began talking, realizing we have a ton of stuff in common. I’ve been in to see her twice and this last time, she gave me her number and told me to text. I really like her and think we could be friends. She’s just so down-to-earth, warm and personable. We’ll see.
Once I fell in love at first sight and wound up in a relationship that lasted five years.
Another example: I was starting a new job and saw a woman in the restroom (I too am a woman). My brain loudly said, “I wish that woman was my friend”. I’m not sure how, but we became best friends. It was an unlikely friendship since she was from Taiwan and married, and I was neither. Eventually I moved across country and we lost touch. I miss her.
A little more than seven years ago, a Doper I’d barely interacted with previously offered to lend an ear when I was going through a particularly difficult time. More than just being helpful, we shared a similar sense of humor and became fast friends from that first phone call. A couple of years later, I married her, and we’re on the verge of our fifth wedding anniversary.
My brother’s friend’s wife. We didn’t become best friends or anything but she was a beautiful woman with a great smile and an even better personality. She just made me feel good to be around her. I felt the “good vibes” for sure.
I worked with a guy who everyone felt that way about. He had a larger than life laugh. When he laughed you could look around the office and see everyone smiling.
One example: on the first day of my junior year in college (“move-in day” at the dorm), our dorm’s “housefellow” (Resident Assistant) took a bunch of us down to the student union for a getting-to-know-your-neighbors outing. I started chatting with a freshman girl, and we instantly hit it off.
We wound up dating for two years, and though the romantic relationship ended, we’re still very good friends, 31 years later. I attended her wedding last year (and sat with her family at the service).
Yes. What made it so striking was that I only talked to him for 5 minutes. He looked me in the eye and gave me his full attention. He let me know by listening to me and focusing on me that I was the most important person in the room at that moment. Even though dozens of people wanted to speak to him he did not rush but gave me his time and attention. I felt wonderful. His name is Derek Jacobi. Now Sir Derek Jacobi great actor.
sure, being a process server I meet all sorts of people, I’d say 5-10 percent I can instantly jive with. Course they could be faking it! Who knows with anyone these days
Yes – about 10 years ago, I joined a Peace Corps-like volunteer organization, which involved living with ~5 fellow volunteers in a house in another part of the US. I met one of my new roommates in the airport on our very first day, and we instantly clicked and started talking like we had known each other for years. We stayed good friends all year (even while sharing a bathroom!), I was a reader in her wedding a few years later, and we still keep in frequent communication through phone/email.
I just remembered another one, since I saw him again last night.
I met our city’s fire chief once at a meeting, and listened to him speak for a bit and then did a little Q&A. I left totally smitten with what a nice, calm, caring man he is.
I regularly come across someone I feel quite empathetic with. Sometimes we don’t get to talk to each other and just by staring at him or her I can tell we’re consubstantial. I avoid these people.
I should mention I’m a person with relatively no secrets or taboos. I usually get to converse with these spiritual dopplegangers of mine and I enjoy the good vibes I receive just as he or she enjoys the good vibes I give off. I don’t think I should stay away from these people because it would make me feel ‘naked’ or something like that. It’s something scarier.
There are tons of philosophical essay on otherness and how fear of otherness shapes individuals and societies. What scares me, however, is complete sameness. Being in a relationship with someone I’m identical with would gradually drive me insane, like playing chess to myself forever or sharing a dungeon cell with my clone. This kind of self-reference and the paradoxes it ensues can make a psychological movie or novel quite interesting, but I think in real life it can many a time lead to neurosis and breakdown.
Of course, I sometimes regret I didn’t keep in touch with some of the people I felt so much at ease with but I think listening to the echo is fun only for a while and making love to yourself is prone to lead to degeneration.