Sneezing. So that’s what they’re calling it now.
Can’t say that I have. I’ve pulled chest muscles just by breathing, and threw out my back picking up a piece of cardboard though.
No, but I did have a hard time wiping my butt when I fractured my elbows. (very minor fractures, but still…:p)
Not that it counts, but I had a friend who threw his back out making a peanut butter and jelly sandwich.
Who wipes their butt with their elbows? 
Speaking of freak injuries, I also injured my back because of a cheese-related incident.
What does “throwing out your back” actually mean? I’ve had a variety of back injuries from sprains, tears, subluxations, etc. but I have no idea what “throwing out your back” actually means.
No.
I’m out of shape, but not that out of shape.
Please tell us it involved a giant grater.
Nope! 
I learned a month or two ago that they actually make a “butt wand,” i.e. a reaching device to let people with mobility problems wipe their butts. Apparently it’s normally for fat people but I imagine it’s also handy for people with flexibility issues.
I meant to answer ‘of course not’, but then I read this post - the exact same thing happened to me once. It’s the situation where you are most helpless - if you do not want your pants falling down to the wet floor you have no hand to spare for hanging on.
Great username/post combination!
I have a bum shoulder. In high school, while play wrestling, my friend threw me over his back and I landed square on my shoulder. It popped out of joint, then popped back in. I don’t know if you’d call it a true dislocation, but the pain was unbelievable.
For several years after that if I sneezed, yawned, or stretched! it would momentarily pop back out of joint. My shoulder muscles gradually got stronger, so now I can sneeze and yawn normally again (thankfully). But those first few years were rough.
ME: wipes nose ah ah ah…
FRIEND: Caught a cold?
ME: Yeah, ah ah, since ah Thursday…
FRIEND: That sucks.
ME: Yeah… ah, ah, ah, achoo OHMYGODJESUSCHRISTTHEPAINARRGGGHHHHHH!!!
No, I always make sure to get a complete stretch and a warm-up in beforehand.
For me it means that something in my back goes wrong, and leaves me writhing in pain and unable to sand straight for a couple of days afterwards.
I couldn’t tell you what is wrong though, since every doc I go to about says my back is fine.
Why, don’t fat people own tennis rackets?
No, but I did break a rib once while coughing.
I pulled a muscle - to the point where I needed muscle relaxants because I was in such pain - while washing my back. We were camping and I was in the shower the last morning, before getting ready to pack up. I reached my right arm up over my shoulder, trying to get soap on my upper back and - bam, it felt like someone plucked a tendon in my neck like a bowstring. I damned near fell over from the intense pain. I rinsed off, managed to towel dry and get dressed, and helped pack up while holding my neck at a funny angle the whole time. God, that was terrible.
You should have had one more option: “Almost”
Sounds like you need more dietary fiber.
Actually, the one that is missing:
Not since I got the Comfort Wipe 
by Jobar!
Note that it’s in the “Toys and Games” section. 
I once started coughing while brushing my tongue and threw out my back. I was bent over the sink. It was the perfect storm of bad posture and muscles convulsing.