I find this point of view disturbing, common as it is. A “certain standard” of what? The attitude of your post is what drives many women to unnecessary plastic surgery. By all means, plastic surgery can do good (fixing cleft palates, for example) but just for bigger boobs to satisfy you, that’s not worth anything.
As for your idea that a little of this and a little of that will render the unattractive attractive, I find that very unrealistic. Let’s take Mayim Bialik from The Big Bang Theory. She has nice skin, nice teeth, nice hair, and apparently a normal figure under those outfits, but she has a very ethnic look that in our culture is not conventionally attractive. What would you have her do? Should she undergo plastic surgery to meet your “certain standard?”
“A little of this and a little of that” can be a $2 tube of lipstick and seamless underwear.
You seem to think I’m representing a position that I’m not, Roderick. Please reread my posts to this thread and consider that I am a black woman who is saying that attractiveness is NOT something most people inherit.
I’m not sure about this example, I honestly think most people would classify Mayim Bialik as “attractive”, for all the reasons listed-- nice skin, teeth, hair, normal figure etc. Or at least not unattractive.
I used to consider myself woefully hideous. I liked myself as a person, liked that I was smart and had a great sense of humor, but whenever I looked in the mirror, I always saw that disgusting face. I taught myself a phobia of being photographed, and to this day I regret that I don’t have any physical mementos of certain life events.
However, now that I’m nearing 40 I find that I am much more comfortable in my skin. People comment me on how good I look, when I go out I keep hearing how hot I am. I still have a hard time believing it, but most of the time it honestly sounds sincere. Now that I’m writing this post I realise that this has always been the case. In my 20s there were always some guys that were interested in me, and even more than a few girls. At the time I always brushed that off as being impossible, but now that I’m getting more confident, I’m regretting that I wasn’t so confident back then. I think my live would have been a lot different, and certainly more fun.
I’m enjoying my life immensely now, but I regret that I wasn’t able to do so 10 years ago.
It’s a strange question. I would assume that everyone would like to be more attractive. And it makes sense to regret it, for many meanings of “regret”, because it’s so important.
It’s funny when you think about it that millimetre differences in the layout of the face, differences in the tautness of the skin still make such a difference and there’s little we can do about much of it, but that’s the reality.
My own story is that I was good-looking in my 20s but I’m getting on now and really look my age (my own reflection sometimes makes me jump. No joke). But I’m much more successful with the opposite sex now than I ever was when I had the looks.
So sure, I’d like to be better-looking. But right now it’s not a big deal how I look, and I don’t blame any problems I have in life on it.
I have wished that I could experience being attractive for a day, just to see what it’s like.
I get annoyed when I see attractive people treated differently, particularly a few notables in my company, who have made decades-long careers of charming other people into doing their work.
In an average day, I don’t spend a lot of time thinking about how I look after I choose my outfit and put on my morning makeup. I work in a male-heavy field. Every so often I overhear some male colleagues assess a female’s looks, and it’s a sudden, unpleasant reminder that many people evaluate others primarily on attractiveness.
I’m average-looking at best, certainly not second-glance material. More Wallace Shawn than Brad Pitt. I’m also a bit of an oddball. I’ve known similarly weird dudes to get a pass because they are blessed with height, symmetrical faces, nice hair, etc. Whereas I have to work extra hard to prove I’m not really an idiot. That’s not just my perception either. I’m the sort of guy who, if you get to know me, you’re quite comfortable telling me something like, “When I first met you I thought you were a total headcase, but…[positive].” And I actually get that a lot.
One exception is my wife. She’s a smokin’ hottie I would normally have considered out of my league. Had she not pursued me (according to mutual friends she actually likes the Wallace Shawn look–who knew?) I wouldn’t have even entertained the idea. I guess looks don’t count for much after all.
I mean, I don’t brood about it all the time, but if I do think about it, or am in or thinking about circumstances where it might be relevant, then yes, i regret it, sometimes quite bitterly. There are no remotely normal circumstances where it is a good thing. (Of course, one could make up some weird situation, say where a crazy killer is going to kill the 50% most attractive people in the hall, or something, but nothing there is any likelihood of happening in real life. )
Mind you, my real problem for most of my life was that I could never quite make up my mind whether I was really (physically) unattractive or not. (Now that I am quite old, and a good deal fatter than I used to be, I am reasonably sure, and it is quite a weight of my mind. Still, that does not make it a good thing.)
Mixed feelings about this one.
I am unattractive primarily due to an accident that resulted in some facial scarring. That then led to some mental/emotional issues that were also unattractive (but pretty well hidden). And those issues led to some weight gain and some intentional ignorance regarding style, makeup, etc - also unattractive.
I regret the weight gain. And the intentional ignorance regarding how to make myself look as attractive as possible. And the mental / emotional issues. I’m working on the weight gain (making good progress there). I’ve worked on the styling. I’m working on the hangups. The only thing I haven’t started on is the makeup (so hard to apply!), which I may do some day, but I’m in no hurry to do as all the makeup I’ve tried so far has made me feel itchy.
Funnily enough, I only regret some of my reactions / responses to the scars. Not all of them. And I don’t regret the actual scarring. Sure, if I could wave a wand now and remove it I would. But if I could go back in time and have it never happen? Not sure I would, since there’s also been lots of positive things I’ve gained as a result. I would be a very different person if I could go back and change that… and I kinda like who I am these days. Because I see all the good, I can’t regret it on an overall level.
But yeah, I would prefer to be more attractive right now (without changing anything else), just as I’d prefer to be smarter, kinder, faster, more coordinated, fitter, more productive, etc.
I was about to ask what you’re talking about, since I have seen pictures of you and you are attractive. Then I remembered that I’ve had people tell me I’m pretty, but I think I’m truly not.
