Have You Ever Seen a Celebrity Drunk?...or Naked?... or...

Cafe Society
21

When Edgefest came to Tulsa in the summer of 1999, I was working at the DoubleTree Hotel downtown as a night auditor and doing double duty as the front desk agent for the graveyard shift. One night, not long after I’d started my shift, a man came up to the desk. The exchange that followed went something like this:

[indent]Him: Listen, someone else has my room key and he’s still out at [Edgefest venue]. Can you make me another one so I can get into my room?

Me: Sure, no problem. I just need to see a photo ID. A driver’s license is best, if you’ve got one on you.

(He hands me the ID and I look at it, then at the name on the hotel account, then back at the completely unfamiliar name on the ID…)

Me: Sir, I’m awfully sorry, but the name on your account here is Milton Bradley [or whatever], and your ID here says… [reading name off ID] Dave Mustain. I’m sorry, but hotel policy dictates that unless you can show me an ID with matching–

Him: Look. I obviously registered under an assumed name, but clearly, I’m Dave Mustain.

Me: Well, yes, sir, I can see on your driver’s license here that you’re Dave Mustain and that’s definitely you in the photo there, but since the name on the ID doesn’t match the name assigned to that room in my computer–

Him: Oh, my God! Listen, I know you’re trying to do your job and all, but I’m Dave Mustain! Can you please just give me my room key???[/indent]

We continued like this for another thirty seconds or so before he stormed off angrily. It turned out later that his manager or whoever had checked in that afternoon and had forgotten to give Mr. Mustain his key. He decided to come back to the hotel earlier than expected and thought there would be no problem getting another key made. I don’t think he planned on encountering a desk agent who’d never in his life heard the name “Dave Mustain”. Of course, I’d heard of Megadeath, but wasn’t the least bit familiar with their music or the names of the band members. I really had no idea that I’d just refused a celebrity entrance to his hotel room. Later, when I told the story to my manager (who was about my age), she looked at me in shock for a few seconds, then said, “Oh, well. He’ll get over it.”

22

Ted Kennedy Solidarity Day rally, 1982 Drunk

Ralph Nader Private party in DC, 1978 Sober, clothed, and not too loony

Gil Scott-Heron Nightclub performance, Blues Alley, DC Stoned and reeking

Root Boy Slim, twice: Passed out on a barroom floor at the Twist & Shout, Bethesda MD Late 80s; In writer Richard Bangham’s basement, drunk and naked (Yecch), Wheaton, MD about a year before he died.

I just barely missed out on making a student film with Edith Massey. Guess I really pissed off the director.

You really meet a different grade of celebrity in DC.

23

I’ve seen James Marsters drunk and then really, really hung over.

I’ve seen Andy Hallet (Lorne) and the guy who played Clem both completely shit faced. Andy Hallet dropped his pants and showed off his tattoo…They were also very hung over the next day.

24

[QUOTE=Krokodil]
Root Boy Slim, twice: Passed out on a barroom floor at the Twist & Shout, Bethesda MD Late 80s; In writer Richard Bangham’s basement, drunk and naked (Yecch), Wheaton, MD about a year before he died.
QUOTE]

I think it would have been more difficult to name a time when you would have seen Root Boy Slim sober.

Gonna’ get me a pair of ROOT glasses…

25

I prefer to stop rading this sentence at this point.

I’ve seen Andy Hallet (Lorne) and the guy who played Clem both completely shit faced. Andy Hallet dropped his pants and showed off his tattoo…They were also very hung
[/QUOTE]
Same with this one.

When I was a senior in high school I won a trip to England with Twisted Sister so I saw all the band members in various stages of drunkenness. There was also someone there who looked a lot like Boy George and apparantly was claiming to be Boy George until the real Boy George showed up.

26

Motley Crue Theater of Pain Tour, circa 1986(?).

Vince Neil- Drunk
Nikki Six- Drunk, probably on Heroin as well.
Mick Mars- Drunk
Tommy Lee- Drunk

Guns-n-Roses Appetite for Destruction Tour, circa 1987.

Slash- Drunk
Duff- Drunk
Izzy- Drunk
Axl- Drunk

O hell, everyone was drunk.

27

I saw Dame Judi Dench at the airport a couple of days ago, queueing for passport control. But she was neither drunk nor naked.

28

Claudia Christensen- From Babylon 5, DragonCon many moons ago. First time: she knocked into me running into the signing room as I was reading, ironically enough, Babylon 5 card games cards. Second time: The second night, she was drunk off her bottom and stumbling around as some guy was attempting to get her somewheres.

Michael Stipe- Numerous times in Athens, GA. Drunk, high, sober, in various states of
dress, but luckily never naked.

29

Sometime in the late 70s I saw Paul Warren and Explorer at the now defunct Starwood Club. One of my musical idols, Ray Manzarek came onstage to play Back Door Man with the band; and he was sloppy drunk beyond belief. There was a loft above and behind the stage, where the musicians generally waited to perform, and he could barely manage the steps leading to the stage.

It was all rather strange seeing as how Morrison had been better known for showing up drunk.

30

I saw Lenny Henry and Dawn French (for those in the back they are a couple who are quite famous in the UK, he’s a HUGE black guy and she’s about the size of Rosanne Barr (when she married Tom Arnold))

They were @ a talk about a guy who went to my old school: David Lean (again, for those in the back, he directed Lawrence of Arabia)

31

I have had my ass groped by a drunk Ian McKellin(sp?). At the same party I saw Alan Rickman looking pissed and kind of pissed off. I had a dance with a tipsy Prunella Scales and danced next to a sober looking Neil Kinnock (Welsh MP) and also saw a very dapper (but not drunk) Ronnie Corbett (British comedy legend - also my hero). There was a load of other celebrities there but I am not really very good with celebrity names so I couldn’t name them. I did however have a glass of champagne with Pru and John Cleese in her back garden about two months after that party. I waffled on about the congestion charge because, lets face it, what the fuck do you say to John Cleese? I was glad I managed to hold it together enough to speak let alone say something interesting.

32

I had exactly the same experience when I was a desk clerk with Greg Allman. I’m embarassed to admit it, but I had no idea who Greg Allman was at the time (I knew the song Rambling Man and that Cher had a son after Sonny but couldn’t have told you the common link) and all I knew was that an obnoxious guy with long greasy hair was trying to get into a room registered to Vick Vapo with an ID that said Greg Allman. I also refused to admit Kenny “Snake” Stabler, a one-time football hero, to his room because he didn’t have ID (his wife had checked in but hadn’t left a key for him) while he stood there and yelled “I’m KENNY STABLER! LOOK AT ME! I’M KENNY STABLER!” (uh… if it’s important to you dude… now let me see it on a Driver’s License and we’re all happy). I probably would have recognized Joe Namath, but not being a football fan I didn’t even know the name Kenny Stabler until I told family members about the jerk at work later and they fell apart (they’re all rabid football fans and were in a “tell it again! Tell us what his name was again! And you had no idea who he was? HHHAAAAAHHAHHAHAHAHAH!!!”).
Later, Kenny Stabler was arrested for spousal battery, so it’s possible I did the right thing after all in that instance.

I had a major problem with the comedian Gallagher and his wife one night, but that’s a really long story. The short version: Gallagher’s a prick.

33

Gregory Corso once drunkenly asked my date if she wanted to go to the men’s room with him (at a poetry reading.)

It would be tedious to go into the number of drunk musicians I’ve observed at close range, so I won’t even bother.

Saffron Henderson is a sort of minor celebrity, I guess. I had a serious crush on her after her debut in *Rainbow War, a psychedelic fantasy that was screened at the Canadian Pacific pavilion at Expo '86. Back then she was just “famous” for being Bill Henderson’s (of Chilliwack – the band, not my shameful hometown) red-hot daughter. Anyway, the crush diminished slightly after witnessing her retching her guts out at a house party in the West End a few years later. Only slightly, though. I still think she’s sexier than vanilla creme.

34

Ron Jeremy.

He was quite naked, and either drunk or “on something,” I’m quite sure.

And you wouldn’t believe what he was doing at the time…

35

Recalling Saffron Henderson in a red leather jumpsuit really buggers up my ability to manage vB code.

36

The BBC newsreader Michael Buerk was at my aunt’s 40th birthday party (he was a neighbour). I’d have probably only been about 12 at the time, but I do remember he was steaming drunk and dancing around the lounge…

37

I was at the Phish show in Nashville in 2000 at which they were joined on stage by Sam Bush, the Del McCoury Band, and Ricky Skaggs. (Sam Bush and Ronnie and James McCoury joined them for “Harry Hood”, then the others came out for a short set of bluegrass standards.)

After all that, they were inexplicably joined on stage by what appeared to me to be a very drunk Wynonna Judd, who announced that her divorce had become final that day before fronting the band for a rendition of “Free Bird”, including some grinding on various band members.

I was hanging out with Ronnie McCoury a year or so later, and he wouldn’t confirm or deny that Wynonna was trashed. (He’s a gentleman.)

38

Carson Daly has been drunk many times in my presence, but I was usually drunk too. His step-brother is a friend of mine and he always hangs out with us when he’s in town. We usually just hang out at my friend’s house, b/c when we go to clubs he gets mobbed. You’d think it would be cool to have all the ladies swarming all over you, but based on what I’ve seen him put up with, it’s not.

Consequently, I’ve also been drunk with Tara Reid and Jennifer Love Hewitt over the years. Both were unconsciously gorgeous and extremely tiny, but could drink like sailors.

39

Even not being particularly pro-gay, I gotta admit that the Ian McKellan story is cool.

And RE Rickman looking pissed off- isn’t that his normal expression?

Total agreement about the John Cleese intimidation factor!

40

Not quite naked, but I did once encounter Liz Taylor in a bathrobe at close range. This was when she was married to John Warner; I was in seventh grade at the time and palling around with his son, also named John, who invited me out to their Virginia estate a few times. Said encounter took place in the kitchen when John and I came back from some early dirt-biking and had breakfast with the senator-to-be and the movie star.

Also, during my limousine-driving phase I chauffered Michael Landon (excellent tipper) and Joel Grey. (Not at the same time, and neither was drunk or naked.)