You can’t let us in the dark.
Yes, curiosity. Not knowing what was written would drive me mad. On the other hand, I don’t hate anybody and I think never hated someone likely to write to me. I guess that maybe a sufficiently awful experience could bring me to that, since it happens to others.
I don’t think so, but but it’s probably been ten years since I’ve received one. I’ve deleted thousands of them.
My life has never had that kind of drama. So I’ve never had any inclination to ignore or destroy incoming messages. Not to say I could never get to that place, just that I haven’t been there so far.
Yes; from my mother. Once my Dad passed away my tolerance for her abuse and games ended. Along with any interest in her usual excuses and bribes. Her last words to me (that I heard) were “I never want to speak to you again ever” screamed loud and harsh enough to frighten my wife. I decided to honor that request.
I’ve never done this myself, but then my life is relatively drama-free. I’ve gotten letters that it was wiser not to answer, but none where I was able to expect that before opening them.
More important, a good way to save yourself some extra aggravation.
We all can guess what was in there - a tirade about your having spilled the beans to his wife about his previous tirade, and blaming you for both the previous tirade and for having spilled the beans about it. All you would have gotten from reading the letter would have been a fresh round of anger. Best to trash it without reading.
Not that I can recall. But I once got a note passed to me in class that got intercepted by the teacher before I could open it. I have often wondered what was in that note.
For me, it’s not even a matter of hate or dislike. It’s a matter of safety.
The relatives of mine that I will not respond to all play games. Reading one of their letters is like being a rat saying “Well, I’ll just investigate this piece of cheese to see whether there’s a trap attached.” Someday, you run the risk of being just tempted enough and not careful enough and then SNAP! These people have learned how to make the right noises, but they’re dangerous people.
How about this one for an example: I’m 18 and moving out of the house. My father offers to pay the security deposit. “Is this a gift?” I ask. I’m not going to take it if it’s a loan. Even at 18, I already know that game. I’ll pay for it myself if it’s not a gift. “Oh, no” he assures me. “You don’t have to pay me back. I just want to help you get started on your own.”
Fast forward two years. My girlfriend and I move out of the place. Our landlord refuses to write two checks for the security deposit, so they write one check to her name. She receives a letter from my father’s attorney, asserting that she has stolen his security deposit and that he will be charging 1% interest daily until he receives payment in person by cashier’s check. There’s an in-person screaming and yelling incident as he threatens her until he finally gives up and accepts that we’re not going to play his game.
See, that’s why you don’t listen to these people. You want to believe that they’re human and that they’re trying to reform. You desperately want to give them a second chance and believe it will all work out. But it’s all a trap. They’ll take whatever you give up and make you regret it.
So far, I have never destroyed a letter without reading it.
But I can think of several letters I SHOULD have destroyed without even opening them. In particular, one from my mother-in-law, which came shortly after my ex filed divorce papers.
I can’t recall tossing a personal letter that came in an envelope with a stamp and everything. I have trashed emails, unread, from a former coworker who refused to stop sending me messages urging me to convert to Christianity (the emails I read before I gave up, anyway - I assume the unread ones were the same).
I have not done that, but I could see doing it under certain circumstances. I have deleted voice mail unlistened to, though.
I may have.
I might have regretted it after, but it was Done.
I don’t think I’ve ever received a personal letter in the mail from anyone.
I sure have. The insane nurse I used to date started letter bombing me in Hawaii once I neared graduation at the university. She knew I was planning to return to Thailand with my fellow student/future wife and not to the mainland where, in her diseased mind, we were sure to hook up again and live happily ever after, or at least until her next bipolar down. After the first couple of letters, I just started sending them back to her unopened with “Return to Sender” written on the front. I even had to fill in her return address, because she “cleverly” left it off, I suppose thinking I wouldn’t recognize her handwriting and so open them! I must have sent back at least six, maybe 10, before she stopped sending them after they started showing back up in her mailbox. If I hadn’t done that, she’d probably still be sending them today!
You could always PM us your address. And either read or throw away depending on how you want to answer the poll.
Even in these days of e-mail and everyone having at least 1 phone (if not more), I probably get around 10 cards or letters a month and write that or a few more.
Sure. I was at a very low, lonely place in my life and I got involved with a woman who I knew to be crazy going in, but at the time I did not care. About 18 months of chaos (permeated with a few rare instances of happiness) later I finally told her to shove off, and a few months later I got a letter that I simply threw away. No matter what it was, whether it was something I was expecting (an angry, babbling rant), something I had wanted to hear at some point (an explanation and/or apology), or something completely off the wall (“I’m really your father!”), I no longer gave a shit. I don’t regret it for a second; everything that came out of that woman would have just been another attempt to keep me on the hook.
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Yep. A person I had known a bit that had mental problems and I knew I was never going to see again handed me a letter. Threw it away as soon as they were out of sight.
Avoiding reading letters from such people is desirable. And in this case easily doable.
An inmate of some asylum in Ireland convienced himself that one of my sisters appeared in a Playboy centerfold. His correspondence got to the point where she’d not open anything he sent, to be turned in to the authorities as evidence.