I see this in movies and read it in books a lot. The protagonist receives a letter from the parent who abandoned him or her, the former love who broke his or her heart, the sibling who ran off with the family fortune. Protagonist thinks, I have no interest in anything this person has to say!, and throws it away, or writes “Return to Sender” on it and mails it back.
Do people do this in real life? Have you? Or, have you ever sent anyone a letter and had it returned, unread?
I feel like there are zero people in the world whose letters I wouldn’t even read. I once got a letter from an ex that I read but never replied to, but I of course read it. My approach to life and other people is curious bordering on nosy, so I know it would drive me nuts to have an unread letter out there. And the other fictional scenario I see is the person who keeps the letter, unopened, for a period of time. Really? I’m tearing that shit open.
Not personal letters. But definitely with videos and pictures. I’m just not a video/picture kind of person.
Case in point: my first wedding, my mother insisted on a photographer and renting a video camera. I think I’ve looked through the photos maybe once, because she pretty much made me do it with her one afternoon. Never got the fancy wedding pic of me and my ex framed or put up.
As far as the video goes, she got it put on VHS (it was 1994 or so, that’s all we had.) It’s in my basement somewhere. I’ve never watched it. Simply no interest, even when I was married to my ex.
The current Mr. Athena and I didn’t take a camera on our honeymoon. Judging from the reactions we got, that was akin to roasting and eating babies.
Oh! I have deleted personal emails without reading them, mostly because I knew they were angry/emotional/whiny emails sent while someone was drunk/scared/or otherwise emotionally not-at-their-best. Easier to just hit the “delete” button and tell the person who sent it if there was anything important there, tell me when you are not angry/drunk/scared. I don’t need the drama in my life.
Years ago I had a client at work who thought I had cheated him in some way. He stormed in, got in my face, and started screaming about me being a fucking asshole, he was getting a lawyer, he’d kick my ass, etc. When he finished I calmly explained. It turned out to be a misunderstanding between the guy and his wife. I was entirely blameless. He walked away, embarrassed.
I declined to do business with him ever again. He called and I refused to speak with him. Eventually his wife approached me and accused me of overreacting. She thought her husband and I had a polite discussion and I threw him out (he lied to her). I explained what had really happened, and brought forward one of the witnesses to his outburst. She was shocked.
A few days later an envelope came in the mail for me marked “Personal” with his name and return address. I tossed the envelope unopened. Seemed a good way to say, “Fuck you”.
Curiosity always gets the better of me. I even read the hate mail I got after a letter of mine was published in a magazine.
But, I don’t have any relatives that have poisoned any chance of reconciliation, either. If I’d have the families of some of the dopers who have posted their personal stories, not only would I burn any letter from them unread, I’d bleach the mailbox, just to be sure.
I have once with an ex who sent a package at Christmas. I marked RTS on it and put it in the mailbox.
My mom did when one of my oldest friends tried to involve her in an issue we were having. She didn’t return it though, she just put it in the shredder.
That’s exactly why I hadn’t replied to my ex-boyfriend’s letter. It was aridiculous, multi-page screed about everything that was wrong with me and why I shouldn’t have broken up with him and how I would never find a man like him again (thank goodness—that was the point of breaking up with him! Also, does any sane person really think this is a good strategy to win someone back?), and I amused myself by taking a red pen and marking up the many, many grammatical errors. But I also knew that replying would be continuing the conversation, and I needed it to be over.
Not giving a reply at all really is the last word.
ETA: Thanks for the replies so far! Thanks for not throwing this OP away, unread.
Yes. From my Mother. I know every tactic she will try, every button she will push, every dysfunction she will display. There is really nothing to be gained by reading the current order in which she has placed them.
Yes, several. My ex was fond of sending me cards and such through my mother. My mother gave me the first few, which I threw out unread. She has since stopped playing go-between.
Last night the Mrs had the kids in the bathtub and there was a knock at the door. I am registered as a independent and have been getting a lot of last minute campaigners knocking on my door and figured it was another. It wasn’t. I slammed the door, locked the bolt, and shut off the porch light. During the ensuing door pounding and bell ringing and window banging the Mrs ran out and asked who was at the door. “No one. Less than no one.” She immediately understood.
I usually throw out christmas cards without opening them.
I know, bah humbug. They don’t contain generally personal messages and I don’t celebrate Christmas (nor care about my religion’s winter holiday at all) and I just don’t care. All the people I actually like know this, so I only get cards from relatives I hate, which just adds to my general inclination to throw them away.
I got a couple anniversary cards last month. I might open them before recycling them, maybe not.
There’s a lady who has a weird hate-fixation on me who has written me hate-emails (as well as diatribes in various internet forums and to our mutual friends). The person she seems to imagine I am has very little resemblance to me – she often quotes me saying things I not only didn’t say but would never say.
I don’t read anything she sends me. Of course she is blocked on facebook and my internet mail now.
Yes. I have discarded unopened letters from both sets of grandparents and my father.
Someone once asked me “What if they’re finalizing their will and want to give you $1 million?” I’m not going into details, but I can safely answer that no, it’s still not worth it to open their letters.
I once opened and read a holiday card sent to me from a serial killer whose case I worked on for the duration of its time in our courtroom, which was several years.
I guess if I’d open and read that, I’d open and read anything.
Yes, multiple times. I don’t have the time to waste on people who I know will just be an aggravating waste of time. Like TruCelt, if you are already assured of the content, there is no reason to investigate the specifics.
