On the sleep side… I was told to always put the baby to bed awake. If she fell asleep in our arms we took her into her room and changed her so she would wake up a little then we’d put her in the crib. We learned to recognize when she was tired and when to put her in for her naps/ nighttime sleep.
She started sleeping through the night at 8 weeks and has done so ever since with the exception of times when she is sick or some odd circumstance makes her miss a nap.
I’m hoping this is why she’s such a great sleeper as the we want to use this method on the next munchkin.
And I know routine is important to kids but we really don’t have one. I’ve never managed to implement one … Maybe random works as a routine for my kid? She also doesn’t like to eat the same foods too often. She’ll eat cheese sandwiches every day for 3 days then never eat it again for a month.
Breast milk is best for as long as your wife can manage it. The milk changes as time passes to adjust for baby’s growing needs. It contains everything baby needs and that includes the ever important antibodies your wife has against illnesses. She may want to pump if that works better for her … breast milk freezes very well. I would say you would wean the baby off breast milk around a year (when baby starts eating more and more solid foods) if she can hack it that long But any breast milk is better than none.
Not only is going “as late” as two or three years NOT unheard of, it’s pretty common. I nursed my youngest child for nearly 3 years.
Regarding breast milk, someone mentioned that formula is fine and it is, but breast milk is not “superior” – it is merely normal. It’s the expected nature-designed food for human babies. Formula is a perfectly acceptable substitute when problems develop, which is actually rare. But you need support. Though natural, breastfeeding is not always easy (though it was for me. I work fulltime and was able to successfully pump at work for more than a year. After that the child won’t nurse as often so nursing for three years isn’t as scary a thought as you might think. A child that age won’t nurse as often as a newborn.)
That said, my recommendation is to encourge Mrs. Nerrie to seek out a La Leche League meeting and begin attending now. She’ll be around experienced nursing moms and get to see some nurse firsthand right at the meeting. Later, she can bring the baby and have other moms observe her and give her pointers. Long ago when nursing was the only way to feed babies, women got lots of support like this, which is often absent in our society today.
Most babies don’t really need anything but breast milk, and maybe a little water if you can get them to take it, until five or six months. Then start them on other foods, one at a time. Someone said that the baby will tell you when it’s ready for more foods, which is pretty true, but if baby is still only a couple months old, it’s probably better to try nursing more often and for longer periods, to build up the breast milk supply.
They really aren’t equipped to digest much more than breast milk (or formula) for the first few months. So it won’t do them much good anyway.
Oh, and relative to the first question, sometimes babies can get overstimulated. We learned this with our second. It didn’t help to hold her or rock her or anything, because that just added to the problem. But swaddle her, wrap her like a little football so she couldn’t move, and she’d settle right down. She was just kind of a sensitive kid. Still is.
I am so glad to know that my kids aren’t the only ones who have done this!
My best advise is to get as much sleep as you can; I used to nap whenever they did when they were little. There aren’t too many suprises out there anymore. Be careful if you use powder so they don’t inhale it and olive oil works really well as a baby message if you are out of baby lotion!
Keep the thick blankets out of her crib, those months old little babies can scooch all over, check the bed linens for proper fit.
don’t overdress the baby, esp indoors, but when outdoors remember the babe is stationary in stroller while you are generating heat pushing it.
AND
keep that new skin protected from the sun, hats on heads and ears overed from strong winds. But you will realize all this when he comes! You will go a little bonkers make sure he is perfectly content.
Talk her now, and sing .
Work out your singing voice, practice those lullabys. make up new ones
About the protien thing–perhaps your informant was referring to the protein in cow’s milk. Babies can’t digest the protien in cow’s milk, so formula made from it is processed so that they can. But you shouldn’t give a baby straight cow’s milk. My dr. said 1 year was when kiddos were ready for it. (We ended up having to give Paidhi boy goat’s milk for a year past that, cow’s milk gave him terrible rashes. He’s okay on it now.)
I nursed both kids until they were about two. It’s insanely convenient, frankly. I never had to pack food, or mix anything, or warm up bottles or wash anything beyond taking a shower. I pumped and froze extra for times I wasn’t around–so it’s not as though nursing forces mom to always be there, there are wasy to deal with that. I think if you’ve only got six (or five, or four…) weeks where it’s practical to nurse, then do those six weeks. Breast milk for as long as you can–some moms just can’t, and some employers aren’t very helpful about letting moms take breaks to pump and store, and you just have to do the best you can with what you’ve got.
While the various methods for getting babies to sleep on a schedule work for some babies, be aware that some kids just won’t play the game for you. I personally found it much more convenient to let the kiddos sleep with me. You can’t do this with a small bed, a waterbed, or if you’re intoxicated. I rigged up the crib next to our bed so the babies had their own space, but all I had to do was pull them near when snack time came. Someone also markets a portable crib for precisely that purpose, it’s worth looking into if that route seems feasible to you. It may not–every family, and every baby, is different, and you’ll have to do some trial and error until you find an arrangement that works for you.
Here’s another resource for you : these are wonderful info sheets called Tips to Grow By. They are written by the staff of Children’s Hospital Medical Center of Akron, Ohio. They’re updated regularly and cover many aspects of children’s health. Here’s the index of all of them:
The breast feeding or not debate has been around forever. I think when formula first came out it was probably inferior to breast milk, but now it’s just as good. My son was never sick until he started pre-school at 3.
Those of you who chose to breastfeed are NOT better mothers than the ones who chose not too.
I have a great pediatritian. This is very important as they are going to be guiding you on this journey. Talk to your friends and neighbors that have kids and make an informed decision.
As for the books, if you’re a worrier, don’t read the books like gospel. I did and it made me so crazy if everything wasn’t exactly as it said in the books that my husband threw them all out. I look back on it now and realize that I was nuts for a couple of months after each birth. Hormones and sleep deprivation, and insane mommy make.
You need to understand now that even if you feed, change, and love your newborn, it’s going to cry. Even the best of babies occasionally cry for no other reason than to cry. Get something that makes white noise for their room. A humidifier, a fountain, a fan, my nephew has a fake fish tank that makes all the noises of a real fish tank and it works like a charm to quite him down. We had a teddy bear that made heartbeat and blood whooshing noises similar to what a baby might hear while it’s inside mom. That worked really well too. When it got really bad I’d take Leif and put him in his carrier and place him next to the dryer and turn it on. He loved that.
You’ll suddenly develop a deep respect for mothers who have managed to raise human babies without killing them. You’ll have your mom or aunt programmed into your speed dial for emergency pre-dawn counseling sessions. “Is it normal for him to hiccup for an hour straight?” because you don’t want want the pediatrician to know how stupid you are.
Be ready for the shell shock that comes when the hospital orderly walks you all out to your car, helps you properly strap the brand new baby into the infant car seat, and then…waves goodbye. You’ll get into your car and numbly drive off, but you are secretly thinking that SOMEONE should stop the hospital from releasing these precious babies into the hands of incompetents!
That drive home from the hospital is one of the strangest things you’ll ever experience, IMO. It is soo quiet because you are both wondering what the hell you’ve gotten yourselves into and hoping like hell that your partner knows what he is doing.
But you’ll learn. We all did. And then one day you’ll wake up and your child will be 11. And then you’ll get to act as counselor for new parents who don’t realize that yes, it is perfectly normal for babies to bark like seals.
Have to emphasize this - it is very important. My parents gave me aspirin when I was 8 - I developed Reye’s Syndrome - and we were very, very lucky that my pediatrician was good.
Read about it:
I know I got to the vomiting stage (I remember this time) - and they got me to the hospital immediately, and luckily, I survived with no permanent damage (that we know of).
No, it’s not. There is no way that formula can possibly contain, with current technology, all the antibodies and other beneficial trace ingredients that breastmilk has. Keep in mind that newborns don’t have a fully-functioning immune system until six months; they rely on getting a lot of their antibody load from breastmilk. No breastmilk, no antibodies.
Ive got three children ( 3 yrs, 2 yrs, and 7 months). You really worry about the first one, but by the third you realize that most of that worrying was unnecessary. Breast for 6 months or longer, formula for another 6 months and then 2% or whole milk after that. Actually, were cheating with the 7 month old, shes already on some milk, but mostly formula. You get to make your own rules as you go, but there are some things that should be followed, as other posters have suggested. The child rearing books will go much further with a little common sense added. Dont forget about the SDMB when something comes up that you need an answer for.
I think the thing you will worry about the most is the falling and the poisons. Both can be managed. The rest you`ll figure out as you go (remember - common sense).
The main thing that caught us off guard was the 3 year olds Febrile seizure (fever related). Google that if you want to learn more, or ask your Doc.
Chiming in on the breast vs. bottle sidetrack, nursing uses a lot of calories. It also requires that Mom is well-nourished, especially in the liquids department. Think of it: There you are, relaxed in your comfy rocking chair, using up hundreds of calories! It can help you get back in shape. And no, it won’t ruin your figure.
1)If you have a friend or relative who you consider a good parent of a child, count on them for info more than books or doctors. Good parents of adults are okay, too, but they may not remember everything they did when they had babies and certain rules may have changed (like the back sleeping thing - you’re supposed to have babies sleep on their backs)
If your plans about breastfeeding or sleeping arrangements don’t work out, just make new plans. When I had my son, I didn’t own a bottle at home. He didn’t care to breastfeed and it became such a struggle I finally scrapped it. I wasted some time feeling guilty. Not worth it. I also never intended to let him sleep with us. He’s four and sometimes he still does. We like it.
No need to get defensive, hillbilly queen. No one has implied you were a bad mother to give your son formula. But even formula manufactuers admit breast milk is better suited for infant digestive systems. It also contains at least 100 different substances that cannot be synthesized in formula (like microphages, cells that kill bateria, viruses, and fungi).
My son was a little lump for about 1 month. Slept, ate, and occasionally cried. Then bam! The amount of sleep decreased dramatically and his need to be stimulated intensified. I am amazed at how fast he is learning (he’s 3.5 months old -side note- breastfeeding is, as stated previously, incredibly convenient. I’m typing as I’m feeding him).
I used to think babies were, for lack of a better word, kinda dopey. Not true. Their tiny brains are soaking up every movement and listening to every word. I spend about 80% of my waking time holding him, sitting with him under his mobile and playmat, singing to him, reading to him, taking him for walks. I’m going to have to edit what my husband and I watch as last night I caught him staring at the t.v. as his dad watched Road Rules/Real World Challenge. You should definately invest in a book that describes infant developmental stages (I enjoy Dr. Sears) and I suggest you spend lots of time talking and playing with your baby. Spending time with your baby is not spoiling, no matter what well-wishers seem to imply.
But any breast milk is better than none.