My wife is pregnant with our first child, due 21 June. We are booked in for parenting classes, but they don’t start for a few weeks yet.
Mrs N has been getting nervous for some time about all the stuff that we don’t know. It didn’t bother me at first but as the day closes in (now less than two months) I’m getting a bit nervous myself.
The problem is (and please bear with me while I try to explain) not so much what we don’t know, but what we don’t know we don’t know, see what I mean?
For example, we drink skimmed milk. I heard not so long ago that you’re supposed to give kids full-fat milk until they’re 2 (?). I would never have known that, and could easily have given the child skimmed milk if someone hadn’t chanced to mention it.
Apparently, they can’t digest protein for three months (?), so they can’t have it? I thought baby food was pureed whatever we were eating. Is that not true
Do you see what I’m getting at? I’m happy with the common-sense stuff, I’m not stupid, neither is my wife and I’m sure we’ll muddle through. I (we) are mainly concerned about stuff like skimmed milk which we would never have known about.
My request, then, (to finally come to the point) is this:
What surprised you to find out in the early stages of parenthood? I’m addressing this to people with young kids only because they are (in my opinion) more likely to remember what it’s like to be in my position, but any and all advice heartily welcome.
d_redguy and I don’t have any tykes of our own yet, but as a former teacher of little ones (preschool) and full-time nanny, I can tell you a few foodie facts for infants.
Yes, babies need whole milk until they are about 2. There is no such thing as a “fat baby.”
Babies should not eat peanut butter, honey, or strawberries. Doing so can cause allergies to these foods in later childhood. I believe (Please check with your pediatrician!) that they can begin eating them once they begin eating regular table food.
Children should not take aspirin, or products containing aspirin until they reach 18 years of age. Aspirin combined with a fever can cause a disease known as Rhye’s Syndrom.
Eggs are thought to be a dubious thing to give babies. Some people say it can cause allergies, while others say it has no effect. Check with your doc.
I have never heard the protein thing. Milk contains protein, including human milk, so I doubt it.
Might I recommend the very good “What to Expect” series of books on pregnancy and parenting? They are a good source of info.
Babies are on formula their first few months. The Doctor will perscribe the one that’s best for your baby, although it may have to be changed a couple of times because of allergies or if your baby needs extra iron.
Going to even a few of those classes will help because they say a lot of what is being said here and there will likely be people there who have questions you haven’t thought of.
My kids are all grown up now, but I have to ask what is happening to instincts? We didn’t take any parenting classes, no ultra-sound, no Lamaze( I was in the delivery room).
We didn’t fuss and worry about germs, but kept the kids clean.
We didn’t worry about the nutrition of the food they ate.
And guess what? They grew up to be beautiful, healthy, well adjusted adults.
My advice is to just do what seems sensible, and stop worrying about it.
Have you signed up with a pediatrician yet? Your pediatrician will have lots of good information – booklets, etc. – as well as personal advice. She/he may also have a nurse-practitioner who can give you a lot of answers. There are good books available, too, by people like Dr. Brazelton and others. All these things help prevent too many “surprises.” There’s a lot you need to know about matters other than feeding – correct sleeping position, crying, and much more.
You’ll probably be told your baby should have breast milk (and water) only for at least the first 6 months. Many pediatricians recommend a longer period.
Good luck to the three of you in your new adventure!
Talk to your pediatrician and he/she will be able to help you a lot. As will any number of parenting books.
Breast milk or formula is the best for the first year then you can switch to whole milk as baby has started weaning towards solid foods by then. Our daughter didn’t care for baby food so we slowly introduced her to what we were eating… mushy things first.
Baby food usually has a lot less of the additives, preservatives and sugars than the food we eat. Unless you buy all fresh fruits and veggies and grains that is… It’s usually made to dissolve pretty readily so babies can gum it to death quickly. My daughter likes meat but some meats are harder to chew (like steak) so they frustrate her.
Honey is generally not pasteurized and should not be given to infants… the same with ciders. Nuts and shellfish/seafood also aren’t for kids under 2. A few months ago our daughter discovered the peanut butter sandwich so it seems she’s ok as far as that allergy goes
Mostly watch the baby. You’ll start to learn pretty quickly what she needs. Our OB said when his son was born he had his list that he did whenever the baby cried… they are usually hungry, wet, bored, burpy, sleepy. Try all those things first.
Simethocone is your friend… helps babies get rid of gas! Not something we needed often but when we did need it!
The biggest thing I learned is that I knew more than I thought… it just seems overwhelming when you’ve never done any of it before. Find a new parents group in your area… our childbirth class handed out a class list so everyone could keep in touch and share hints and ask for help. The hospital also sent us home with a lot of resources we could contact should we need anything.
Congrats
If you have any questions… I’m always willing to share what I’ve learned
Another excellent book is Childhood Illness: A Common Sense Approach by Jack Shiller. It may be a little hard to get, although the Amazon link can get you a used one for (I’m not kidding) two bucks. The most valuable thing in it is telling you what things are really dangerous and warrant an immediate call to the doctor and which things you can deal with yourself. Plus lots of practical advice like how to give medicine to a squirming toddler.
Most, if not all, doctors will agree that a baby should be breast-fed at least for the first few months if at all possible. This virtually eliminates any question of allergies during that time, and it’s actually better for Mom, too. Some believe that it will cut down on colic as well.
Best to discuss feeding details with your pediatrician. There is an age at which you can give the baby a pureed version of what you’re eating, if it is a balanced diet, except for possible allergens, except for spicy foods, except for especially salty foods, and so on. The not digesting protein idea sounds like somebody is either badly misinformed or really misunderstood something. Of course a baby needs protein!
I don’t know about your doctor, but I think the general recommendation from everyone except Ross Pediatrics is that babies be breastfed exclusively until at least four months of age. Formula is a significantly less healthy choice for the baby and should only be used if the mother cannot breastfeed or the baby has one of the rare genetic abnormalities that precludes breastfeeding.
There should be nothing other than breast milk (or formula) for the first three or four months. Rice cereal can be started at three months, and pureed vegetables at four months, assuming your child is developing normally. Start vegetables before fruits or your child will not want to eat the vegetables.
Children should not be fed skim milk before age 3 unless prescribed by a physician, and should probably not have cow’s milk at all before age 1.
Do not feed honey to babies! Not only can it contain botulism toxin, but if the honey contains even small amounts of tansy it could be fatally toxic. You should also avoid honey while pregnant and while nursing.
Strawberries are okay, once they’ve been introduced to other foods first. They are a bit acidic, so they can cause a bit of diaper rash.
In the US, baby food is pureed food, period. The baby-food industry has stopped adding sugar and salt and preservatives. You can make your own by cooking whatever it is you’re eating and pureeing it in a blender or small food processor. In fact, Aaron has been introduced to table foods, and prefers them to baby food, probably because adult food tastes better to him.
As to the protein-digestion issue, whoever told you that is misinformed. Babies only eat protein for the first three months; that’s what breastmilk and formula are.
I think you’ll find that 99% of parenting is common-sense stuff. Feed them if they’re hungry, change them if they’re wet, comfort them if they’re upset. A good pediatrician is invaluable for the medical stuff, and some good parenting books are also invaluable. Just don’t let advice get in the way of your own judgment; you know your baby a lot better than a book or even a pediatrician does.
One of the things I learned when my son was little was not to give a bottle with anything besides water to them when they are laying down. The fluid can get into their Eustachian tubes and cause ear infections.
Apologies to those with shares in Nestle, but try keep babies on the breast as long as feasible. Especially if you’re a Dad.
The woolly tribe comprises a 6, 4 and 2yo.
My advise is to skip the parenting classes. Changing the nappy on a doll isn’t really helpful and those who are worriers about the birth complications get unnecessarily stressed out and those who don’t simply don’t understand the pressures (which, like almost everybody you’ll cope with).
However, if your local health service have “Mothers Groups” or similar I’d strongly advise joining. Very theraputic and extremely informative to hear how others face and handle the same issues you are. A group of people who I met only because their first child was born within 2 weeks of my first born are now our closest friends. Support to bounce things off, share a bit of the load, swap biologiocal and behavioural “horror stories” like the floaties in the bath trick etc.
You may well be a worldly and experienced new age guy who can handle dealing with your job, the tax office, the local council, the plumber etc and but a newborn makes clutzes of every new parent. You’ll be fine!
Just wanted to chime in with those saying Talk to your pediatrician first and foremost. And trust your instincts - don’t over-analyze! Having and raising children has been going on lots longer than parenting classes or LaMaze or even hospital births. Educate yourself on early development, keep a running list of questions to ask the Dr, then just go with it and enjoy. It won’t take you long to figure out what requires professional attention and what is a no-sweat situation.
I’m not answering because this was posted in the wrong Forum.
Yeah, right.
This is all you got to know when you bring your baby home Nerrie. Feed 'em when they’re hungry, change 'em when they’re stinky, wash 'em when they’re sticky. Do that and you’re Jake as can be. Glad I could help.
Oh, and you’ll see this really wise person (they call 'em Pediatricians) ALL THE TIME! If you have any questions as you go along, they have all the answers. (And the “What to Expect” books are faboo.)
-Rue. (successfully fathering since 1997)
What my kids ate: Breast milk, formula and water exclusively for the first 3 months. Baby cereal (in a bowl and never in the bottle) when milk was not enough. I don’t know how to tell you when milk is not enough. The baby will tell you.
Soon after the cereal was introduced, baby food and soft mushy human food too. Mushed up bananas, yogurt-- things like that. By the time they were 11 mos old they were demanding to be fed their father’s chili. We used to make a special non-spicy batch just for them.
Here’s how hard it is to break a baby. We once fed them their chili and noticed how they chewed it and chewed it. They mulled over each mouthful for a good minute or more and then eagerly opened up for more. When we sat down to eat our chili it was bland and not so tasty. We realized that we had fed them the super hot jalepeno and red pepper flake chili-- and they loved it. No ill effects whatsoever.
I once walked in on them eating handfulls of Tide. They once decorated their cribs and the walls of the livingroom with crap. The smell drew us into the livingroom and there they sat with big shit-eating grins. Literally.
Good luck and enjoy!
It could be easier if you have the baby on a sleep schedule. I read a book called The Secrets of the Baby Whiperer, or something like that, and she says that babies quickly learn to go to sleep on their own, as long as there is a routine leading up to bedtime. For my oldest, I had to lie down with her until she fell asleep for the first four years of her life. My youngest is two now, and it sure looks like she’s heading in the same direction.
Thanks all, I guess that this is one of those things where you just have to take it as it comes. All tips and congratulations gratefully received, thank you.
Can I throw in another, more specific question, which has been alluded to several times: breast milk.
I think it’s generally taken to be true that it is the best start, but for how long? I’ve heard everything from six weeks upwards. I know that it will vary etc etc, but if it is the best start, then for how long is it the best start?
Nerrie, breast milk should be used as long as Mom can stand it. Most moms wean somewhere around eight to twelve months, although going as late as two or three years is not unheard of. Weaning before six months is generally not recommended.
