This is an alternative to the sister public thread and only pertains to unwanted/unplanned pregancies and not to deliberate pregancies.
Feel free to elaborate; or don’t.
Honestly, even with all the options, I didn’t find the one that worked for me. I was using a IUD and it didn’t work. OK, I was able to deal with a child holding the IUD in his/her hand when she came out. That didn’t happen. Points at my username. Children will never happen for me.
goes back to pawning idiot lady thread, I’m crying now.
I’m very sorry for your loss, flatlined. You are right, I should have included a few more choices, including one which describes an unplanned pregnancy that resulted in a devastating loss. Thank you for sharing a painful memory that may help someone else to cope.
You forgot yes, health issues.
Though mine was a combination of failed BC [tubal ligation had a failure] and health issue [I was very specifically given a tubal at a very young age because trying to complete a pregnancy would most likely be fatal to me, I had 2 very disasterus pregnancies already by that time. I really was trying to avoid a third one.]
I think the last option should be “No, but…” because one hasn’t actually been performed?
you are the person I want to hug today
Missing the obvious: no, the situation hasn’t come up, and we would have to make a decision when it did.
I was fifteen. I think that’s the only reason I needed. We did use a condom but I guess that wasn’t enough.
And another missing, which would be me and, I suspect, the majority of other people: No; the situation has come up, but I/we chose to carry to term and be a parent.
Pro-choice includes the choice to carry to term and be a parent, after all.
ETA: and, for me, add “because while I was diligent about birth control, it failed” if you’d like to make it parallel to the choices offered for “yes” responses.
Ditto for me - there is not a choice which fits my experience. I don’t believe abortion is murder but abortion was not the right choice for my then girlfriend and now wife.
Your third option is really prejudice against the childfree. Many of us choose not to have children because of very unselfish motives such as concern about overpopulation. I vote yes, had an abortion because birth control is failable. I never want to endure pregnancy and there are already plenty of children in my family who need someone to care about them if I get the urge.
I voted, "Yes, because though I/we were diligent about birth control, our method failed. " And I have spoken on my abortion here, and my story is on “I’m not sorry”.
But really I would have voted that I never wanted to have a child, except I don’t see how that’s selfish. I frankly disagree.
I voted that it has never happened, but if it did, I wouldn’t have an abortion. I want another kid like I want a terminal illness, but I couldn’t get rid of my husband’s child.
Agreed.
If you asked me this when I was 19 and in college when I went 3 months without a period and was terrified I was pregnant, I would have answered “yes, I would have terminated the pregnancy.” At that time, I turned out not to be pregnant (PCOS diagnosis instead) but my mind was made up to terminate.
If I had an unplanned pregnancy now (while on BC) I would choose to carry to term. Then probably get Essure or a ligation, as 2 kids is plenty for me.
This. Some people cannot maintain a pregnancy for the sake of their own wellbeing. My partner is such a person. No one involved makes any apology for not sacrificing an existing life for a potential one.
Agree. Childfree does NOT equal selfish. I could have expanded to poll to 20+ options and still would have missed many of the reasons abortion was/would be chosen. If anything, this poll serves to illustrate the gray areas to others who feel abortion is a black/white issue.
My own answer does not fit any of my own (limiting) categories: 1st abortion after discovering a heritable disease that would almost certainly result in severe spinal problems for the child and would have caused enormous physical burden on the mother, who suffers from a spinal disorder due to an injury her mother suffered while carrying her.
2nd abortion (yes, there were two) was the result of failure of oral contraceptives used diligently. A vasectomy solved that problem forever.
And also: never wanted children, and I’m/we are not selfish, either. We shower our niece and nephew with love and attention, and welcome them into our home and lives whenever possible. We do not dislike children, and adore the children of our friends, even the wilder ones. But, for us: an abortion would have been the solution to an unwanted pregnancy under most circumstances. At any age.
This describes my experience more or less exactly. Unexplainable failure of birth control, followed by decision to go ahead and become a parent. It was a few years earlier than I’d have chosen to become a parent, but I knew I wanted kids “someday” so I decided the day had come.
"Yes, because I’m/we’re selfish and never wanted to share my/our world with a child. "
Seriously, what the fuck is with this option? Talk about poisoning the well.
Ugh. Missed that because I skipped over all the “Yes” options.
Really nice. :rolleyes: