A quick background. About 5 years ago we adopted an English Bulldog, Pia, from a local Bulldog rescue group. We were chosen to be her adopted parents because we had no other pets or children. Pia had not been socialized properly with either kids or other dogs for most of her life and she’d pretty much been kept in isolation. They were also pretty sure some kids had teased or hurt her in some way. Because of that, she is very dog aggressive and slightly kid-aggressive. She’s never bitten or hurt anything or anyone, but she can be very intimidating and we’ve never let her get close enough to a kid to see what she’d actually “do”. She’s a terrific house dog, extremely quiet, listens to us, and entertains herself exceptionally well. And once she gets used to things, she’s usually okay with them. She actually has a few dog “friends” that she tolerates now and was okay with a friend’s newborn who came over some months ago, even though the crying sound confused her a bit.
In these 5 years, she has obviously become our “baby”. We adore her and she’s part of our family. We’re expecting our first child in about a month and know it will be a challenge to get her used to this new “thing” in the house. Trainers have told us that even some very most aggressive dogs can understand a new baby as part of “you”, and with proper steps can get used to that child but maybe not other people’s children, which we could live with since we don’t get a tremendous amount of vistors at our house. We’ve also been starting some things at home, such as letting her in the baby’s room and making her sit and stay, telling her what a good girl she is. I’ve got a little baby doll I’ve been carrying around in a blanket every few nights, and hubby will be bringing home the receiving blanket before we bring the baby home for her to smell and associate with something new.
There are many, many lengths we’ll go to to make sure that Pia will tolerate this new child, even though we realize she may not “love” it as some dogs do with kids. Does anyone have any experience with this or know of some other things to help create a better situation? She is 8.5 years old and in generally good health.
There are probably socialization classes you could take your dog to. Why are you taking action now, when there is almost no time to correct the problem? Why didn’t you start working on this as soon as you found out your were pregnant? Geniunely puzzled by this. I hope you can get this problem fixed. Get the dog into training, and stick with it. I’m not sure what else you could do, but classes will help you learn how to deal with her if she’s jealous of the baby or anything like that.
Man, that’s a tough one. My mother is utterly without remores about getting rid of an aggressive dog.
When I was a baby our German Shepard (who was a puppy) snapped at me and my mom “beat the crap out of her.” She was kinda tiomid around me for the rest of her life, but never ever aggressive. Another dog bit me (I guess I was about 6) and was gone that day.
Bottom line, if you dog doesn’t like your kid, you have to get rid of it. “Family member” be damned. If Pia growls at your infant or becomes aggressive, it’s time for the shelter. Don’t take any chances!
After the kid is born, have Mr.Winnie bring a blanket that the babe had been wrapped in back to the house and let Pia smell it. I did this with my dog and found that at least she wasn’t so hyper when the new “toy” came home. The action just seemed to familiarize my dog with the kid before the child ever entered the home.
Being the dog lover I am, I also sat down with my dog while she was sniffing the blanket and explained how things would change and what to expect. Of course it meant nothing but I like to think it helped, if only it being my voice comforting her while she explored this new contact.
Other than that, just be careful and make sure to spend some time with Pia away from the baby (if possible). You don’t want Pia to perceive there is competiton for affection.
Hope all goes well Winnie.
Not necessarily, I’m asking because this is such a new change in our lives and I want to do the right thing. Just as if I was asking how to properly batter fried chicken or tie up tomato plants. I know it’s easy to say, well if I have any doubt at all about how the dog will react to just give her away but it’s not that easy. And that thought never crossed my mind once. We’d spend good money on trainers and techniques before we went that route.
Maybe it means I’m the worst mother ever already for not putting the dog out with yesterday’s trash, but like I said we love her like a member of the family and would like it to REMAIN that way with the pecking order obviously changing quite a bit and ground rules being changed.
Greenback thanks for your kind words and support. I’ve had friends do the blanket thing with their dogs and it seemed to work, it was one less “unfamiliar” thing they had to understand. We also sprinkled the toy baby doll that we’re using with baby powder so that smell becomes more familiar. When I sit in the baby’s room with Pia, I talk to her in a very happy tone so she starts to associate that room with “happy talk”. Someone else also told me to buy some extra-special yummy treats to only give her when she’s getting praised for doing good things around the baby so she associates the baby with special goodies.
Yep. I am afraid, from experience, that you are going to be too sleep deprived and new baby busy to give the dog the attention its had for so long, which will only exacerbate the situation.
I’d contact the rescue organization and let them know you need help re-placing your pet.
Maybe you can socialize the dog enough to deal with the kid. But I’ve seen the result of what happens if not. The case I saw, thankfully, had no permanent scarring or emotional damage to the child.
You’ve given this dog the best you can for the past few years. It’s great you were able to, but you have to take your child into consideration as well.
I am worried about this situation, and I would re-place the dog and not take the risk. However:
I presume you plan to never, ever, leave the baby where the dog may be able to hurt it. No putting her on the floor for a minute while you pop into another room, or anything like that. Never leave them unsupervised for a second.
Can the dog live outdoors?
You will almost certainly not be able to give the dog the attention she wants. You (both) will spend the first six weeks in a haze of exhaustion, milk, and diapers, and will be holding the baby almost non-stop. Until three months, you will most likely not have a schedule or much structure to your day, and it will probably be six months before you get anything like a night’s rest. What if the baby develops colic and screams for six hours a night–for a month? Will the dog be able to tolerate such a situation, and will you, in your sleep-deprived and desperate state, be able to discern the signs of the dog’s distress before something happens?
What is your support system? Have you got someone to take care of the baby while you rest, or go for a walk, or play with the dog? Arrange something now if you want to be able to give time to the dog.
The baby is going to be utterly helpless and tiny (as you know, but I’m just saying it again). No defenses whatsoever. If your dog decides to snap at him, there may be great damage done in less than no time. I personally would not take this risk, and it will be absolutely understandable if you change your feelings about the dog if she shows any sign of unhappiness. Pia may be happier somewhere without a baby, and it may have to happen. But I wish you luck.
I knew a family that loved its two dogs absolutely to death. But when one of them snapped at the baby (out of the blue, it had always been loving and tolerant before), that dog was gone. I’ve seen it happen with beloved but aggressive cats, as well.
If the adoption service chose you because you had no other pets or children, I’d call that a major signal that you should seriously, seriously consider giving the dog back up for adoption. The fact that your dog was mostly OK with a newborn who visited for a short time has zip to do with how your dog is going to handle a new addition to the family who is usurping his previous role.
Personally speaking, I’ve known a few dogs that were teased as puppies. Some of them grew up to be fine adult dogs (when removed from the situation), friendly enough, and a nice addition to the family. But there’s not a single one that I would trust around small children.
If the dog can’t be kept outside, I would probably give it up for adoption. If that’s not the route you choose to take, please heed dangermom’s advice about never, ever, not even for a moment, leaving the baby in a situation where he/she is alone with the dog. I mean, shoot, we even took that basic precaution with my mom’s cat, who has no socialization issues, and has never even given us an inkling of a problem.
Dogs – even pleasant, friendly dogs who seem to be adapting to the baby perfectly well – can snap without warning. Please keep this in mind if you do decide not to give up your dog.
You might be able to make it all work out, but I don’t see how you’re going to do this with 100% safety if you intend on keeping the dog. Even if the dog is fine 99.99% of the time all it take is one instant of bad temper to attack a helpless child, and that child could well be killed esp with a powerful dog likea bulldog. And don’t kid yourself that you’re going to be on site between the dog and child 100% of time. You can’t be.
A lot of people here are stunned because you’re (seemingly) willing to kinda-sorta roll the dice on this issue and hope for the best. Even with training a kid aggressive dog should not be in the same environment as a new baby. Your duty to your child safety is orders of magnitude above being fair to your dog.
As an adult who was mauled by the family dog as a toddler, I would have to say
GET RID OF THE DOG. Unless of course you don’t care about your kid. Seriously, I have scars on my face and almost lost an eye.
Just how much thought have you given to your new child that you’ve decided to have? From reading your posts, I get the impression that you value your dog and others perception of you more than you value your baby. I hope your attitude takes a huge turn around and you straighten out your priorities when your baby is born!
This will be the last time I’ll be able to respond to posts for a few days, our computer is going to be down at home for some upgrades, but I wanted take a moment to respond to everyone.
The concern and “shock” is well-noted and appreciated, and looking back at my posts and my other response I do see how my words made it seem like “boy I sure do hope the dog likes the baby because I’d hate to get rid of the baby.” It’s not like that at all, honestly. When I posted originally, I chose my words a little poorly and more out of a sudden fear out of a lot of things changing with a new baby coming into our lives.
Please trust that if anything were to indicate harm or the threat of harm to my child we would be quick to take action to remove the dog from the house. I too, have been bitten by a dog. In the face. Three-quarters of an inch from my eye. At age 4. This is territory that is not new to me, and 25 years later I remember the terror of this incident and painful stitches on my face. The scar is still there and visible without makeup. The owners of the dog that bit me even had young kids, it was just “one of those moments” when the dog decided it had had enough of me and snapped. They did not get rid of the dog, but kept it in quarantine and there was never again an incident with the animal and any other kids. Who knows, maybe it just didn’t like me.
I feel like I’ve blackmarked my name because of this, and now wish I’d never posted because these concerns aren’t anything we don’t already know, believe it or not, but are hard to admit or fathom might be the solution. But this child is our one and only concern – a child that we never thought would happen and the joy and excitement and love that we have for it already is also part of terror and uncertainty of this new phase of our lives, the dog being part of that. Thank you all, sincerely for your words, the kind of words I trust that only a parent can find when thinking what might happen if they were in this situation.
Wanna take a few minutes to validate other peoples warnings? Here are four Cosmetic (Plastic) Surgeons in your area:[ul][li]Jacqueline D. Griffiths, MD (703) 834-9777[]Dr. Al Muzzammel (703) 448-4448[]Parva Plastic Surgery (703) 777-7477Dr. Phillip Chang (703) 729-5553[/ul][/li]…Pick anyone of them. Tell them your situation and ask two questions:[ol][]How many children’s faces, lips, eyelids and ears do you stitch up per year as a result of being attacked by the family dog?[]Would you advise your patients (or would you yourself) bring a new baby into a home with a non-agressive (let alone an aggressive) dog?[/ol]
Get rid of it before the baby comes home. If you don’t, then you are irresponsible and a bad parent. I am suprised that one would even be in doubt of what to do. :rolleyes:
Geniunely puzzled by this. I hope you can get this problem fixed. Get the dog into training, and stick with it. I’m not sure what else you could do, but classes will help you learn how to deal with her if she’s jealous of the baby or anything like that.