Having a Zima.

Damn, I forgot how much I liked this shit.

They still make Zima? I thought that died like 10 years ago.

It’s back, for now.

Funny story.

Back when I first got to college, my sister (who is a bit older and also at the same college) was dating this bartender guy. Me and a few of my buddies went to his bar (because he’s a lowlife scumbag that would serve underagers, at least me and my buddies). They had just gotten zima gold in and were stocking the cooler wwith them. He set some down in front of each of us and one for himself. He popped his open and took one sip and immediately took all of ours back saying “I’m sorry, I can’t in good conscious let myself serve this crap to anyone” and unstocked the cooler.

From the comic strip University[sup]2[/sup], by Frank Cho:

Dean: Your sister’s hot! Can I date her?
Tony: Hell, no!
Dean: I’ll buy you a six-pack.
Tony: Hell, n—uh, what kind?
Dean: Um . . . Zima?
Tony: Hell, no!

Give my regards to the Narn ambassador.

Yikes. Thanks for the involuntary shudder.

I don’t think I ever tried Zima, but I absolutely loved the Bartles & Jaymes and Seagrams Golden wine coolers, and Bacardi Breezers. I have no idea if they make them anymore, but I loved them back in the day.

Back in the day, the Coors brewery would sell Zima slushies in their tasting room and an orange Zima slushy is very refreshing.

I used to buy Zima because they used to include those weird “look at em with your eyes crossed 3-d” images on cards attached to each 6 pack. And the bottles contained alcohol. I’m not proud, but it’s the truth.

Tried a Zima once. Took a drink, couldn’t decide whether or not I liked it, took another drink, and so on.

Pretty soon, I had an empty bottle, and I still couldn’t decide whether or not I liked it.

Then I decided that if I couldn’t figure out whether or not I liked it after drinking a whole bottle, it probably wasn’t for me.

My brother threw a blasphemy party once. I brought Zima, labeled it “Spittle of Christ.” Tasted it, thought it tasted more like the water left in the vase after flower stems have rotted in it.

Nasty shit.

Didnt it die in like 1986?

It was introduced in 1993 and stopped all production in 2008. I would have guessed 1998, but still.

I feel all sorts of revulsion at the idea that it was brought back, much less invented in the first place. I also secretly hope that people will realize whiskey and coke is a waste of both perfectly good Coca-Cola and almost maybe good rotgut whiskey. <sigh> seriously, you’ve made them both worse.

But, they’re your taste buds, and it’s your liver. No reason to not get schnockered on it if you like it. There’s almost certainly something that will horrify us both just over the beverage horizon.

Zima was perfectly acceptable as a 90’s date rape drug, especially if you put Jolly Ranchers in it. Jeez, these kids today with their “GHB this” and “Roofie that”. We had to WORK for our rapes back in the day!

Zima? Were you wearing leg warmers and a scrunchy too?


I rather liked Zima. The Zima Commercial Guy was annoying af though.

What the fuck?

I thought it was kind of tasty. You wouldn’t want to drink it all night or anything; after two it would start irritating my stomach. Zima is like the Nickelback of beverages; it’s not great but for some reason it’s very hip to make fun of it.