The Long, Slow, Torturous Death of Zima
Fourteen years after its heyday, Zima is finally at peace.
Jesus, that stuff tasted like crap. Good Riddance.
I’ve never heard of Zima, so I was wondering why people were making disparaging remarks about a vodka. Then I realised it wasn’t just a beer, it wasn’t just an American beer, it was a filtered, carbonated and flavoured American light beer. No wonder it died.
Another good riddance. Absolute shit.
They had these freaky ads back in the 90s, detailing this character’s descent into sad pathetic alcoholism. He hallucinated, slurred his words, botched a super-easy pickup and his taste in hats went right into the crapper. Truth in advertising all the way!
I wondered what Zima tasted like & was about to buy a pack a few years ago. The clerk talked me out of it.
About time they pulled the plug on that pisswater. May they bury it with a stake through its heart so it never comes back.
On Babylon Five there was a prominent neon Zima sign in one of the bars. The art director commented it amused him to think it would be still around in 250 years.
In the mid 90’s, I went to a bar with a buddy of mine and offered to buy him a drink. It was a rough-and-tumble kind of place. I was ordering bourbon. My friend said he wanted a Zima with Grenadine. I replied with something along the lines of, “Huh?” When the horrifying reality that he wasn’t joking set in, I told him, “OK, I’ll buy it, but you have to order it.”
I thought it went away years ago.
I had it only a couple of times, and I have to admit I kind of liked it.
On the other hand, I can’t stand beer of any kind. So whatever Zima was, it obviously wasn’t beer. 
I could swear I heard a Zima joke just the other day, for the first time in years. I wondered if it could possibly still be around.
You don’t zay?
I did try it. If I recall my comment was: It tastes like spit.
It was nasty.
Yeah - fifteen years sounds about right.
About fifteen years ago, when I made my directorial debut[sup]1[/sup], the cast and crew all went to Mitch’s to celebrate. I got there a bit early, and saw a big sign for this Zima stuff. I asked the waitress, whom I had gone to high-school with and thought she liked me, if it was any good. She said, sure it wasn’t too bad.
She was wrong. I drank the bottle I had ordered. Why let it go to waste? By that time, everyone else had arrived, and starting buying me drinks. Unfortunately, they kept buying me Zimas.
[1] - Does one play count as a “debut”?
Didn’t they have commercials with some little Kramer looking guy? I seem to remember him being voted the worst advertising mascot of the year or something.
but yeah, Zima tasted like crap.
In reading the article linked in the OP, I had an overwhelming urge to punch the computer screen every one of the 3,000 times the author used the word “malternative.” I’d never heard it before and I hope I never have to hear it again. Something about it just sounds unbearably, indescribably, stupid.
I had no idea that stuff was still around at all. I thought it vanished shortly after the creepy-dude-with-the-hat ad campaign. There were so many jokes about how bad it was, I thought it wa a huge failure and pulled off the market, like a New Coke fiasco.
Thought it was dead a long time ago.
But trust me, since I know Smirnoff Ice, Mike’s Hard Lemonade, and a thousand of their clones are still on the shelf, Zima didn’t die because it was nasty; it died because it wasn’t cool anymore (yes, it was cool for awhile with young guys and females of all ages.)
To echo the above sentiments, I don’t think I’ve seen Zima since about '96. Had no idea it was still being produced. That stuff was awful.