"having the shits (or poops)"

I’ve read this a few times on the internet. Do people really say this in real life when refering to having to defecate. Because that’s the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard. I makes it sound like it’s a condition. When your nose is running, do you “have the snots”?

I’ve never heard it used in that context. AFAIK, it means having diarrhea, not needing to go take a (single) dump.

“Having the shits” is a crude way to say diha…diahr…the squirts, the runs, etc.

And I say it whenever I have them.

Sometimes I wonder if it is a condition for me.

I live in Chicago now, but until 1990 I lived in Kansas City. Sometime in the mid-80’s I came up here to Chicago with my son to see a Cubs game because he was a huge fan (they played the Dodgers that day and won, which was great for my son, and he also got to vote in the All Stars). We were riding the “L” and it pulled into a station. I looked out the window and burst out laughing.

I don’t remember which, but a radio station had a poster on the platform saying “We have the hits!” and someone had added a very credible-looking S before hits.

Before thinking about it I pointed it out to my son, who was about 12 at the time. He nearly had a stroke laughing. This was way before Beavis and Butthead and all that. For the rest of the day we couldn’t hardly look at each other, because we’d start laughing like loons. Even long after the joke itself stopped being funny, each other’s reactions would set us off with the giggles.

No, I’m not exactly proud of bonding with my adolescent son over a S"hit" joke, but I think he started to like me as a human being that day, rather than just a mom, so it’s a pretty cool memory.

Never, in any thread in any forum, would I ever get to tell this story. I just had to do it.