He Hates The Car, Hates The Stroller, And I'm Going Nuts

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
21

Oh inkleberry you have my empathy.

I have four children. Two of them were angel babies, the other two…not so much. They have some minor issues but nothing so serious as to despair over, and they threw some fits which sound remarkably similar to your little one. My advice, as a mother, is to continue to document what you see, love him with all of your heart, and it will all sort itself out in the long haul. At five months he is going through stages so quickly, it will take some time to find out if there is something to be concerned about, or perhaps you will find that he just doesn’t like to go for car and stroller rides. I truly hope everything turns out fine.

For the time being, sit down, hon. Here, sip this nice hot cup of tea, and while I am short on trashy magazines I do have a trashy gothic historical romance you may have, great for turning your mind off.

Hugs from a mom who has survived…so far!

22

Ummm, that would be “trashy gothic historical romance novel”. I am going to hang on to my trashy gothic hysterical romance!!!

(and I previewed, rewrote, edited, etc. and I still typo’d… :frowning: )

23

I’m no expert on babies or autism, but when I met Tinkleberry he seemed very social and aware of other people as people.

Does he have this same reaction to BART?

I don’t have any advice, but you do have my sympathy and best wishes.

24

If you plunk him in the stroller/car seat in your family room and don’t go anywhere, does he do the same thing? Does he scream when you put him in his crib before he’s asleep?

25

I think this is a good idea. Could you cut out pictures of paintings from a magazine or calendar and tape them up in his view? Maybe if you changed the pictures now and then he’d even start looking forward to that aspect of a car ride.

26

Second this. Also…

My kids went throug brief periods of being unhappy in a car seat, stroller or high chair. They passed in a month or two. My niece was remarkably similar to your little one. Through huge fits of crying, screaming and sobbing at the same age of 4-7 months. Then, when she figured out that nobody was going to haul her little butt out of the car seat every time she screamed (took nerves of steel for her parents to resist the urge) she stopped the catterwalling and became a new kid.

This too shall pass… hang in there. :slight_smile:

27

:smack:

Threw… Threw huge fits…
<sigh>

28

Our guy (he’s five now) had problems with the backward facing car seat and stroller, although not quite as huge as mentioned in the OP. But there were times when we just couldn’t put him in, he would be throwing such a fit.

I am therefore very familiar with the phenomenon of other parents/relatives looking at us like we were from Mars, and clueless doctors telling us it was “colic”.

It turned out he had gastroesophagul reflux so I think the semi-reclined position was murder for him. We were able to somewhat resolve this with prescribed medication (Zantac) and change of diet…my wife was nursing him so she had to modify HER diet.

Getting him into a front-facing car seat helped but we had to wait longer than some people because he was undersized.

29

Any updates on Tinkleberry and the Dreaded Car Rides?

30

Could it be that maybe when Tink is in a particular position that causes these kinds of problems that maybe there is a pinched nerve being pressed upon?

How does Tink do with baby massages? If you could do one before a car trip, especially along the lower back and legs area, maybe that would help.

Could be a phase but since this poor kid and you have been through so much already, you are on constant Defcon Alert Status 97!

He is too young to learn how to manipulate yet ( that is about 8 months and up). and you won’t be the first or the last parent to have their child wrap you up like a Xmas present.

Also, Sierra might be on to something: maybe you are over comforting him.

Sometimes parents overfussing with the baby makes them more agitated and then mommy becomes more agitated and then baby becomes more fussy. It is a vicious circle. I found with my two, when they were whiny without reason to be ( hunger, sick, poop.) that giving them a hot water bottle to cuddle with was just the ticket. It’s warm. It’s comforting. It’s squishy. We have at least 5 water bottles ready for footie and tummy service for the kids at bedtimes still. ( two for each of them, one for mama.)

Good luck and let us know.

31

I had one of those–Fearful Bather. She outgrew it and now takes 30 minute showers. (No, I’m not kidding.)

32

Ink

I would keep a journal of the episodes-note time of day (especially in relation to feedings), and share those with the doc.

Have you tried putting him in the stroller to feed him lunch? Sort of a Pavlovian re-conditioning?

ALL of my kids went thru the “I hate the car seat” phase-but 5 months is a bit early for that! I think it was around 14 months or so that they all started to rear and buck (literally) and would not let me buckle them in. Well, they got buckled in anyway, (greater good and all that) but the tantrums didn’t last more than a few minutes.

Does a strap pinch? I think you’re on to something re: the left side and muscle fatigue. If doc refers you, tink could be seen and worked with by a pediatric phsyical therapist–might do wonders, if that is the cause.

33

Hi inkleberry,

Thoughts and ideas:

I think you have to try to pinpoint the source of the problem. Is it the motion of riding in the car or stroller, is it something about the enclosed feeling from a car or stroller, or is it the position of the car seat? These are the three options I can think of, but there could easily be something else.

Would he begin to fuss in the car seat no matter where it was? If you put him in the car seat in the crib for example, or someplace else where he is otherwise content, what would his reaction be?

If it’s the motion of the car, maybe being put into the car seat is all the notice he needs that the dreaded motion imminent.

What if he is looking at something which holds his interest (classy little fellah that he is, give him some Van Gogh again) and then snuck into the seat? If he cries immediately, it would seem to indicate that the seat itself is, in some way, bad for him. [I had a car a few years ago that I finally had to sell, simply because I could not get comfortable in the seat, in any position.]

If he tolerates the seat while it’s not in the car, then I guess you narrow the field. Does he cry when the seat is put in the car, before the motion begins, or after?

Is he afraid of the enclosed feeling he gets in a car or stroller?

And then there’s the direction you have him facing, which has been mentioned.

Our youngest daughter HATED travel which lasted longer than fifteen or twenty minutes. She made us dread driving the 45 minutes to and from her grandparent’s house. She made it sheer misery, and I might add, dangerous too; you just can not concentrate on your driving when the child you love is telling you that they are in mortal danger and need your help. I remember one trip all too well…but no need…

Anyway, look at all the variables and then start testing. Try to make sure you really know what it is that the little guy hates, and then see what you can do to alleviate his misery.

Our youngest still doesn’t like extended travel, but she has come a long way. We are no longer prisoners in our own home. I am sure you too will work this out, or, it will work itself out.

Hang in there.

34

Oy, Inkleberry, you have my sympathies. Both of my babies did this–my son until about 9 months, my daughter until about 6 months (though now at 8 months she still occasionally pulls a screaming session if she’s in her carseat too long). I call them my Velcro Babies. As infants, they were only happy in my arms or in a Baby Bjorn/sling. This too shall pass, around the time they become a little mobile and start to understand that just because they can’t see/feel mom and dad, they’re still there.

Mine both hated the carseat, stroller and swing. My daughter (barely) tolerated the bouncy seat. On an up note, they both adored the exersaucer after 5 months or so. Have one of those yet? I know, but don’t believe those radicals who say leaving your kid in a saucer is as bad as gasp! giving them a frozen waffle :wink:

I wouldn’t worry about autism yet. My son is now 32 months old, and is very much normal, even advanced verbally, according to his preschool teacher. He is very well attached and responsive and all-around a bright, good little kid. My daughter is shaping up to be a slightly more mellow version of her big brother :smiley: You may have to limit your drives until he grows out of it, like we did, but some day he’ll be happy to sit in the car and look at a book or play with a toy. And life will be good again :slight_smile:

35

First, the disclaimers. I’m not a doctor, I’m not a paediatrician, and I’m not even a parent. But I have friends who are parents! Does that count?
Seriously, it’s the friends that I thought of immediately.
This:

(bolding mine, duh) made me think of my friends’ new kid immediately. Sounds like, from your description, that Tinkleberry is very like my friends’ new kid. She’s a VERY active child and absolutely hates being in a car seat, stroller, or anything that confines her or limits her arm & leg movement in any way. She Must Move, and if she can’t she’s by GOLLY going to let you know exactly how unhappy she is, yes she will.

Right down to the screaming at the top of her tiny little lungs. Who knew that two-week-old kids could get that loud, and scream completely non-stop without breathing for that long?

The fact that Tinkleberry likes the carrier tends to support this half-baked hypothesis, as well, since if it’s like the ones I’ve seen, it leaves his arms & legs free to move about.
Unfortunately I don’t have any solutions for you, but I can tell you you’re not alone.

36

OK, I get that kids are not puppies, HOWEVER, there is some similarity in that young kids can’t tell you what thier problem is, and you can’t really reason with them. SO here is how I cured my ride hating, got carsick, puppy:

Early in the morning, before it got hot (hot car=carsick pup) I’d load him up and drive about 1 block to a nearby park. The short ride didn’t give him time to get sick, hot, bored, whatever…Then it was time for big fun…puppies LOVE parks.

By about the third or forth day (in a row) of this, he was eager to get into the car for any reason.

Looking back, the first time he ever rode in a car is when I took him from his litter. That was a pretty long ride (45 mins or so) with a total stranger, and he got sick. The next time was when I took him to the vet for puppy-checkup/shots. No wonder he hated it.

Anyway, if you can make some VERY short trips finishing with a big (in baby’s world) reward at the destination, the tyke may become conditioned to love going for a ride.

37

OK, don’t freak out here about autism here! If you do have autism on both sides of the family then obviously this is something to keep an eye out for in general regardless of troubles with car rides, strollers etc. But Tink’s issues would seem to have nothing to do with autism, from what you describe.

Dweezil has autism, and car rides were the only thing that comforted him in the early months. Any errands need to get done? we’ll do em!!! Long car ride anywhere? Hey, we’re there!! However, Moon Unit, who is not autistic, never enjoyed the car while she was rear-facing. We went on a 14-hour car trip that should have been 16 driving at normal speeds; however we did a lot of lead-footing because she screamed pretty much the entire drive. That more than made up for the more-frequent stops we were forced to make.

Does Tinkleberry have a pacifier? That’s the one thing we did not do with Moon Unit: Dweezil had always refused one so we didn’t even think of it, and in Moon Unit’s early months we couldn’t use one because we were still working on breastfeeding. When a babysitter suggested it at 6 months old, we realized duh, we could try it now. Worked wonderfully, sorry I didn’t try it earlier!!

38

Just chiming in to say that I had a couple of Velcro kids who hated the rear-facing seat, too. They grew out of it and were fine until they were old enough to say “Are we there yet?”

Kevbo, that’s a nice idea, but it wouldn’t really work for a very young baby. Their only big fun is eating and being carried around, so there really aren’t that many destinations that would be a big enough thrill to make up for the car ride, even if they could make the connection. A puppy big enough to enjoy a park is probably the developmental equivalent of a toddler.