You want your husband to be smarter, more funny and richer than you? Seems like a poster girl for the traditional marrying up template. Anyway it doesn’t take an Einstein to figure out why two career marriages have it harder. Less time to each other, strained calenders, less or no kids, etc.
Personally I’d love my wife to make more money than me (just to make any kind of money at all would be great too) – she never will, she has much better education though, she’s also pretty funny.
Personally I don’t have a problem with my SO making more money than I do. In fact, the woman I am seeing right now does make more money than I do. -shrug-
There is still an idea in some folks’ heads that the man is supposed to be the main provider. I have encountered quite a few women, professional types, who would not date any man who made less than them. Fact is, there are plenty of people of both sexes who have messed-up notions about money and status.
IMO, those people are to be avoided, particularly in dating situations.
No, I want him to be *as * smart, funny, and rich as I am, give or take, and I don’t see any reason to apologize for that. Everything is negotiable, obviously, but why should I settle? Why should anyone?
::blushing::
The more of the Dope I read, the more I realize that I’m sexually boring. This conversation would never happen in my family. (I had to learn about lube and doggie style on my own.)
You should settle because only in fairy tales do you get everything you wish for. But this is not the relationship mailbox, and I didn’t ask you to apologize. I just noted you seemed to fit the traditional women-marry-up-… sex-role template pretty good.
Of course, if you’re a professor of mathematics or CEO of a fortune-500 company, and expect your husband to be as intelligent and as rich as yourself – then you’re going to find your pool of available mates to be very limited and should not be surprised if you end up alone, without a husband and without children.
You sure do seem stuck on this “marry up” thing, when all I’m saying is that I’d prefer to marry laterally. Wouldn’t most people?
My pool of viable mates is indeed limited, and I’m okay with that. Everyone’s pool of viable mates is limited. It’s called “preferences”, and it’s not about what’s better or worse, it’s about what a person can and can’t live with. For instance, I don’t mind if a guy makes a little less money than me. I *do * mind if he doesn’t get my jokes. See how that works?
And if I end up alone, so be it. I’m a strong proponent of the idea that it’s better to be happy alone than unhappy with someone else.
Except for a three week period in 1996 Lady Chance has ALWAYS made more money than I do. Sometimes a little and sometimes by a factor of 10 or more (I’m currently a serial entrepreneur…the money comes and goes).
Hasn’t seemed to hurt us at all. We just passed 20 years as a couple and 13 married.
Our careers and other projects did delay our kid-acquisition schedule by many years though. Between jobs, grad school, and other projects there always seemed to be little time.