It’s great for chapped lips and dry nostrils.
Oooooh, do I feel that pain. I’m in the 8th grade. I’m in “Bye Bye Birdie”. I am too embarassed of course, to ask my Mom about hair pomades and such. So, I sneak a jar of Vaseline out of the house ( we always had a few pallets-full around 
).
I goop it on. BOY, it worked well. Then we finished the show, and I went home. To wash my hair.
** EIGHT FREAKING TIMES **. It was still a bit greasy but I ran out of shampoo. NEVER told my Mom, and had to use it again the next night.
I’m a bigtime Astroglide believer. 
Cartooniverse
For Scylla and the rest of you Petrolatum Pets, here’s a link to some slippery history.
Never thought I’d tear up about vaseline. Better not even think about duct-tape. I might break down completely…
This evening, the 7:30 Simpsons was the one where Lisa is in the Little Miss Springfield pageant. Just before she goes on stage, she rubs Vaseline on her teeth to improve her smiling capabilities. Homer is watching from backstage, and by the time the winner is announced, he’s eaten the entire jar.
Wondrous indeed. If you coat your entire body in it, not only can you survive blizzards, but I bet you could be slipped out from under a fallen plow blade more easily, too.
In very cold places (like, oh say, Canadian Forces Base Alert), Vasoline[sup]tm[/sup] makes a good covering for you skin to prevent instant frost bite. It gets in the furry liner of your parka, though.
As for sex, as every self-respecting pervert should know, only use water-soluble lubricants for play, especially toys.
You beat me to it. I’ll just add that it dissolves (or at least weakens) latex condoms. Everyone knows that, right? [/PSA]
(Uh, I’d google on “vaseline+latex” to provide a cite, but I’m posting from work 
Here you go. The last one’s a full-blown study on the subject.
And I have to say that getting Vaseline in your eyes is not a good thing. One of the most annoying things I’ve ever had happen, in fact. Other than that, it’s magical stuff.
I’m assuming there’s a story here? If not several? C’mon, you can tell us…
Must have been looking for love in all the wrong places!
All this happens in your car? I have got to get a more interesting life.
I have only two uses for the wonderous petroleum derivative. Chapped lips and chafed nipples. If I’m working out or working outside and sweating a lot, my t-shirts have a tendency to rub a lot against my chest. I don’t notice it until later when the headlights are a little sore. A dab of Vaseline helps prevent the unpleasant friction.
LOL!! I can see it now…
<Astrogirl>
“What the hell you doing? You get away from me, you crazy Amelican!!!”
</Astrogirl>
Don’t take it personally, Astroboy - I don’t mean it personally. It just plays out this way in my mind…
Mermaid - poor puppy!!! And poor you, too! I hope he missed the carpet…
That’s supposed to be a cure for lice. The theory is ya smother the little buggers!
It’s also good for keeping birds from nesting in your front porch. My parents had swallows in the corners of the porch roof for years, much to the chagrin of the paperboy and mailman. Dad heard about the Vasoline trick and the next year slimed the corners in early spring. The swallows couldn’t get any mud to stick and soon gave up in disgust! Dad re-slimed every year and it worked like a charm!
I’ve had this on my mind for a long time (possible class-action lawsuit). After all, it is made from petroleum, and petroleum contains all kinds of nasty stuff…anybody know?
Poor Cartooniverse. Talk about a strict upbringing.
L’il Cartoony: Mom, I need to ask you something.
Ma Niverse: Yes, dear, what is it?
L’il Cartoony: Well, um, it’s um …
Ma Niverse: C’mon dear, out with it.
L’il Cartoony: Mom, could you tell me about, er, um … pomades?
Ma Niverse: Pomades?!! Who’s being talking to you about pomades?? I bet it was your little friend, Timmy. He’s got a filthy mouth. Let me tell you, mister, you’re not playing with Timmy anymore! Now come with me, we’re washing your mouth out with soap!
L’il Cartoony: Waaah! No, mom, no! I’ll be good, I swear! Wah-ha-ha-ha!!!
Sua