Hearing children of deaf parents

[ivylass]

I thought I’d start this here, but it may be downgraded to IMHO. Still, I ran into something interesting and I thought I’d get your feedback on it.

My folks are workamping at a park in Natural Bridge, Virginia. We just came back from visiting them. On the 4th of July weekend, the campground were the site for Timberfest, which is a festival, for want of a better term, for deaf folk and their families. Since this particular campground is a “destination” park, where activities are planned and amenities are available (pool, river tubing, swimming pond, putt-putt golf) there was lots for the kids to see and do.

Basically, for the campground staff, including my folks, the event was a nightmare. To start off with, there were not enough interpreters and check-in was a tedious process, with a lot of notes and pantomines. Even then, the deaf campers either did not understand or ignored the rules, and were parking in campsites not assigned to them and exceeding the number of guests on their site that they had paid for.

But for my folks, the most telling thing was the children, most of them hearing children of deaf parents. They said they were the most unruly group of children they had ever seen. At one point my father and another worker at the site had to shut down the game room early because the children were having a water balloon fight all over the video games and the pool tables. The children apparently retaliated by defecating in the bathrooms and shower stalls and smearing it all over the walls.

After a haywagon ride, the driver came into the office, shaking, stating he would not do it again without an interpreter. He said the children and their parents stormed the trailer and would not listen to his instructions to sit down and ride safely. Although the children could hear, he was ignored and certainly the parents could not hear what he was saying.

At one point, my father entered the RV of a deaf camper to help him with something or other. He said a baby was sitting on the floor, screaming and crying, while his mother slept on a sofa nearby. The father was intent on the problem in his trailer and did not notice his screaming son until my father turned him to see his crying baby.

All in all, I think for my folks, it was an overwhelming experience and I do not think the campsite was prepared. They should have had more intepreters available from the get-go and had them stationed in many areas.

Sorry for being long-winded, but this experience leads me to the following question: Are hearing children at a disadvantage having deaf parents*? Maybe some deaf Dopers can help me understand, but I would imagine not being able to hear your baby cry in the middle of the night would lead a deaf parent to be, not neglectful, but perhaps less able to respond to their child’s needs? Does this affect the bonding process? What about when the children are older? Have they learned they can get away with things because their parents can’t hear them or pick up the sarcasm in their sign language?

Granted, this was one weekend and I’m getting stuff secondhand. I would appreciate any insight.

*No, I am not saying deaf parents should not have children.

[Scarlett67]

It’s too bad that Francesca appears to have left the Dope – as a hearing child of deaf parents I think her take on this would have been interesting.

Where’s Handy when you need him? <ow> <bonk> <thunk> Hey! Quit throwing stuff!

[Monty]

@ivylass

Basically, for the campground staff, including my folks, the event was a nightmare. To start off with, there were not enough interpreters and check-in was a tedious process, with a lot of notes and pantomines.

That’s what’s known as “3P” (Pretty Poor Planning).

Even then, the deaf campers either did not understand or ignored the rules, and were parking in campsites not assigned to them and exceeding the number of guests on their site that they had paid for.

Pantomiming and Sign Language are worlds apart. The Signs used in Sign Language are often completey arbitrary as to meaning (meaning that their acttual meaning has no relation to what the signs visually look like). Additionally, not all Deaf people have great reading skills. Thankfully, this is changing.

But for my folks, the most telling thing was the children, most of them hearing children of deaf parents. They said they were the most unruly group of children they had ever seen.

I say the same thing about a different group of children after every day of work, what with me being a middle school teacher at the moment. My guess is that your folks aren’t necessarily exagerating, just calling to mind the most recent unpleasantness.

At one point my father and another worker at the site had to shut down the game room early because the children were having a water balloon fight all over the video games and the pool tables.

Back in the younger days (maybe pe-teen), my pals and I did something similar until we were ushered out of the game room onto the lawn, where we were allowed to water-balloon to our hearts’ content.

[quoteThe children apparently retaliated by defecating in the bathrooms and shower stalls and smearing it all over the walls.[/quote]

Never did that; however, you can do a search on this site for “Number 11” and be unpleasantly surprised at what that is. There is also (I don’t know if it’s on this site, but it’s in a number of other sites) the infamous “Mad Crapper.”

After a haywagon ride, the driver came into the office, shaking, stating he would not do it again without an interpreter. He said the children and their parents stormed the trailer and would not listen to his instructions to sit down and ride safely. Although the children could hear, he was ignored and certainly the parents could not hear what he was saying.

I wouldn’t move the haywagon at all if the kids wouldn’t behave. But that’s just me. I agree wholeheartedly that a camp designed to host Deaf individuals should have an interpreter along on such a ride.

At one point, my father entered the RV of a deaf camper to help him with something or other. He said a baby was sitting on the floor, screaming and crying, while his mother slept on a sofa nearby. The father was intent on the problem in his trailer and did not notice his screaming son until my father turned him to see his crying baby.

I wonder if the father was aware the mother had fallen asleep? Be that as it may, you’re correct that the parents should be checking on the child.

All in all, I think for my folks, it was an overwhelming experience and I do not think the campsite was prepared. They should have had more intepreters available from the get-go and had them stationed in many areas.

Got that right. But a thought just occurs to me: maybe the camp expected the organizers of Timberfest to be providing interpreter service.

Sorry for being long-winded, but this experience leads me to the following question: Are hearing children at a disadvantage having deaf parents*? Maybe some deaf Dopers can help me understand, but I would imagine not being able to hear your baby cry in the middle of the night would lead a deaf parent to be, not neglectful, but perhaps less able to respond to their child’s needs? Does this affect the bonding process? What about when the children are older? Have they learned they can get away with things because their parents can’t hear them or pick up the sarcasm in their sign language?

Well, there are many people who grow up in homes where the parents only speak one language and the children speak two languages fluently. I think children everywhere soon figure out what characteristics of their parents they can exploit.

As to bonding, I’ve no idea. The question about responding to the child’s needs is also applicable to those parents who sleep quite soundly. I hear nothing at all when asleep. At least I don’t react to any noises unless it’s something on the level of a jackhammer next to me.

[monstro]

Yes, I do think kids of profoundly deaf parents are at a disadvantage. The crying thing is troubling…although I am aware of technology that assists with this. And specially trained dogs can be used to alert parents when a child is crying. So if I were a deaf parent, I would make damn sure that I had these things at my disposable.

But I guess the snappy retort is that most parents are “suboptimal” in some way.

[ivylass]

Monty, you make some very good points, but I would suggest that there was a further disadvantage, since the parents could not hear their children misbehaving. It was left up to the camp workers to try to enforce the rules.

[Subway_Prophet]

Hearing parent of a deaf child, here.

@ivylass

It was left up to the camp workers to try to enforce the rules.

This is the big flaw, IMHO. Any kids camp should be run as though expecting the kids to get out of control. Based on the OP’s description, it seems the camp directors unintentionally set up a situation where they could not possibly enforce the rules, by not hiring or volunteering enough interpreters.

They also could have taken into account the inevitable culture clash. Right or wrong, Deaf (capitol-D) culture is way different from anything else I’ve seen, in terms of priorities and sense of entitlement. Many if not most of these people grew up either (a) having everything spelled out for them by an assigned interpreter/handler, combined with a hefty amount of state support; and/or (b) in absolute confusion. Expecting dozens of deaf families to line up neatly and follow the rules is a bit naive.

[ivylass]

@Subway Prophet

They also could have taken into account the inevitable culture clash.

This sounds like what happened. The camp directors were either unaware or not informed by the Timberfest organizers of what to expect, and were completely overwhelmed. They’ve already decided never to host it again, which I think it a bit of a shame.