Hello Amy,
I haven’t been here long enough to properly greet you but thought I’d say Hi anyway.
HI.
Wow! So many of Dad’s favorites, welcoming me!
Thank you for your kind words. I didn’t sign up to talk about my Dad, but I will say this: The gerbil story is true, although I didn’t think it was funny at all. Walking into the spider web was an exaggeration. And the cybersex thing was a side-splitter, but it never happened. I don’t think.
Cold Fire, I can live without Rush, but my brother thinks they’re cool.
It’s really great to be here. Thanks again for the welcome.
P.S. I’m sure I did well on the exam.
greetings, amy.
john is my name.
in toronto, i am.
bye.
Hi Amy, and welcome.
I hope you will stick around for a good while.
And no matter what anyone else says I am the sane one here.
Welcome to the board, little girl.
Remember what I told you: Be polite and always put on clean underwear before posting.
And I never exaggerate. I merely enlarge the truth sometimes.
Hi Amy! Welcome aboard!
Do ya like to fly?
Cool! Ok, put your foot in here; no, not there, you’ll punch through the fabric…That’s right, grab the coaming…Ok, comfy? Good!
Ok, here’s the harness…good; it fits…Now here’s the stick, and those are the rudder pedals…That? oh, that’s the artificial horizon, and turn and bank indicator…
And this one is the altimeter. Good.
Ummmmm, you might want to tie your hair back; Stearmans get drafty!
Right! Off we go…
(Don’t worry Wally, I’ll be gentle…)
You make sure you bring her back, Blue. She’s got laundry to do.
Hey, has Vestal got his pocket Zeppelin airworthy again?
Hi, Amy!
Hello, Amy! Welcome to the friendly, neighborhood nuthouse! Believe everything you read. No, not really, but there are a lot of cool people here. You’d better watch out for Vestal Blue, though! He’s one of the biggest flirts on this board.
What? How do I know that? Hmmmm…Can I plead the 5th? :o
Your Dad’s the greatest, and now that I’ve said hi! I won’t mention your dad to you every time you post, ok?
Ok, Wally, I promise! You bet, Uke! It’s amazing what an engine overhaul can do!
Purplebear! Shhhhhhhhhhhhh!
What Amy? Oh, nothing…just talking to the tower…
On my first pass I read it as “Hello, my name is Amy, I’m 13…”. Quietly I kicked the dirt that she was to young for me, then after careful examination I see that it’s “grade 13” (a odd concept for us yanks, grades only going to 12 and all) so I rejoiced…
Dear Mr. WallyM7,
My name is Omniscient, I’m here to declare my intentions to shamelessly flirt with your daughter. I’m gainfully employed, have a BS is engineering and no criminal record. I assure you that I am trustworthy, and will use the utmost care in returning your daughter to you safely.
Mr. M7, thats a lovely firearm you have there, do you polish it often? Only when your daughter has company you say? Well that certainly is kind of you to share your hobbies with her friends. No, I don’t mind looking down the barrel to see that is clean. Hmmm, smells like its been freshly fired, do you hunt often? No? Well, I’m sure the last courter was as impressed as I am…
Welcome to the MB!
Hey Wally, I have a copy of “rules for dating my daughter” somewhere around here. Oh, here it is. I’ll post it here, you just pick which rules DON"T apply and let the guys know.
Even if you don’t have a daughter this might help you understand how a parent of a girl thinks …
RULES FOR DATING MY DAUGHTER
Rule One: If you pull into my driveway and honk you'd better be delivering a package, because you're sure as heck not picking anything up.
Rule Two: You do not touch my daughter in front of me. You may glance at her, so long as you do not peer at anything below her neck. If you cannot keep your eyes or hands off of my daughter's body, I will remove them.
Rule Three: I am aware that it is considered fashionable for boys of your age to wear their trousers so loosely that they appear to be falling off their hips. Please don't take this as an insult, but you and all of your friends are complete idiots. Still, I want to be fair and open minded about this issue, so I propose this compromise: You may come to the door with your underwear showing and your pants ten sizes too big, and I will not object. However, In order to assure that your clothes do not, in fact, come off during the course of your date with my daughter, I will take my electric staple gun and fasten your trousers securely in place around your waist.
Rule Four: I'm sure you've been told that in today's world, sex without utilizing a "barrier method" of some kind can kill you. Let me elaborate: when it comes to sex, I am the barrier, and I WILL kill you.
Rule Five: Contrary to the belief that in order for us to get to know each other, we should talk about sports, politics, and other issues of the day. Please do not do this. The only information I require from you is an indication of when you expect to have my daughter safely back at my house, and the only word I need from you on this subject is "early."
Rule Six: I have no doubt you are a popular fellow, with many opportunities to date other girls. This is fine with me as long as it is okay with my daughter. Otherwise, once you have gone out with my little girl, you will continue to date no one but her until she is finished with you. If you make her cry, I will make YOU cry.
Rule Seven: As you stand in my front hallway, waiting for my daughter to appear, and more than an hour goes by, do not sigh and fidget. If you want to be on time for the movie, you should not be dating. My daughter is putting on her makeup, a process which can take longer than painting the Golden Gate Bridge. Instead of just standing there, why don't you do something useful, like changing the oil in my car?
Rule Eight: The following places are not appropriate for a date with my daughter: Places where there are beds, sofas, or anything softer than a wooden stool. Places where there are no parents, policemen, or nuns within eyesight. Places where there is darkness. Places where there is dancing, holding hands, or happiness. Places where the ambient temperature is warm enough to induce my daughter to wear shorts, tank tops, midriff T-shirts, or anything other than overalls, a sweater, and a goose down parka zipped up to her neck. Movies with a strong romantic or sexual theme are to be avoided; movies which feature chainsaws are okay. Hockey games are okay.
P.S. My daughter claims it embarrasses her to come downstairs and find me attempting to get her date to recite these eight simple rules from memory. I'd be embarrassed too (there are only eight of them, for crying out loud!) >And, for the record, I did NOT suggest to one of these cretins that I'd have these rules tattooed on his arm if he couldn't remember them. (I checked into it and the cost is prohibitive.)
I merely told him that I thought writing the rules on his arm with a ball point might be inadequate (ink washes off) and that my wood burning set was probably a better alternative.
Hiya, Amy! Welcome to the asylum!
And no matter what anyone else says, you can trust Coldfire explicitly. Why, he’s a veritable font of information! Go ask him something! Like what the word ‘felching’ means! He’d be just thrilled to explain that one to you!
And maybe, someday, we’ll let you in on the secret of Satan’s Ass. But only if you’re really good to us.
Aenea, thank you!
I’ve printed out those rules, and they will be prominently displayed in the foyer.
I’ve also arranged for Amy’s dates to undergo a drug test, a psychiatric evaluation and a polygraph examination.
I think that’s a very small price to pay for a date with my daughter.
Omni, I’m doing an FBI background check on you. If you pass, you can say hello to Amy.
::Straightening choker whites, snapping smart salute::
Welcome aboard Amy!
Now that Vestal’s bored you, this here’s and F-14 Tomcat…
::Cue Topgun soundtrack::
Welcome Amy.
Soooo… do people say you look more like your mother or father?
Don’t shoot Wally! Don’t shoot!
Awwww, c’mon Chief; be nice!
Amy, there’s more to flight than peel-your-eyelids-back speed. (though that has it’s place)
Chiefy is just feeling hard core after the successful op in the gulf.
Hello Amy! Good to see you. I find your type irresistable! (get it?) …ahhhhwell… I see originality in nicks runs in the family!
Well, everyone is so nice, but to be noticed by a naval officer! It sure makes a girl’s heart hurry up.
What is “felching?” Is this an inside joke? My Dad said to forget it, it’s not important, but I’m curious.
AS VB taxis the Stearman to the apron:
Did you like the flight Amy?
Don’t call the Chief an officer; he’s enlisted, and that’ll just give him a headache.
You don’t want to know what felching is, believe me!
just know it’s a disgusting practice, and leave it alone.