Help! I just realized how amazingly inept I am at some things! Advice needed!

In My Humble Opinion
1

Okay, I know I know–this may sound strange coming from someone with the name of “The Great One” but somehow I think my ego will get over it.

Anyways, I need some advice. I’m trying to grow my hair down to my butt (actually to my waist, but that’s besides the point and saying “down to my butt” sounds cooler). Just the other day I realized that my hair is now down to my shoulder blades (about) and perhaps needs more attention than “shampoo, condition, dry, comb.” As it is, I don’t know since, as I said in my subject, I can be “amazingly inept.”

My hair is shoulder blade length, curly/wavy, and naturally oily (yum).

Even a link to a website would be as amazingly helpful as I am amazingly inept!

2

Cut it often.

Seriously. The ends split and eventually, you’re gonna have to cut a lot off. So get a haircut every four weeks, but tell the one doing your hair what you’re up to, so not too much gets cut off. And it needs to be done with real scissors. Machines tear off the hair, and it needs to be sliced, the way only a pair of scissors con do it.

And keep it in a pony tail for less wear and tear.
(why do I know these things?)

3

Yeah, why do you know these things?

Heehee! :smiley:

Sorry, I couldn’t resist, but thanks for the info!

4

Change how you style your hair if you go the pony tail route. Wouldn’t want to wear it in one place all the time and end up breaking off hair at that spot. Use extra conditioner, like a mask or leave in treatment on the ends, too. Just avoid getting it on your roots if you’re worried about the greasies. My friend Becky took two years to grow hers out, but it was good and healthy.

5

There’s a site for everything…

Basically, they say that growing very long hair is more about avoiding stuff that damages your hair, then to try to stimulate growth.
From my own experience, I’d say that cutting your hair on a regular basis is only neccessary when you have a lot of split ends. If you thrim those ends, you hair will not grow faster, but it the splitting stops temporarely. Plus your hair just looks better without split & damaged ends.
If you haven’t got dead&split ends, don’t trim. Your hair will get long sooner.

Oh, and when you have succeeded, check out this site for some truly amazing braid examples. And it is not just for women!

6

The Great One writes,

<I’m trying to grow my hair down to my butt (actually to my waist, but that’s besides the point and saying “down to my butt” sounds cooler). Just the other day I realized that my hair is now down to my shoulder blades (about) and perhaps needs more attention than “shampoo, condition, dry, comb.” As it is, I don’t know since, as I said in my subject, I can be “amazingly inept.”>

I also lust to have super-long hair (long enough to touch the top of my butt to be precise), but I know I’ll never have it, and you might not either. You see, hair growth depends on the cycle of your hair follicles. From each follicle grows a single hair. Each follicle also has an “on” and “off” period. When a follicle switches “off,” not only does that hair stop growing but it also falls out. (This is not related to male pattern baldness BTW). I was heartbroken to learn this, but it explained the reason why no matter what hair care products I used, or how often (or not often) I had my split ends trimmed, my hair would never grow longer than halfway down my back, its maximum and present length. ::::::sigh::::::

From my personal experience, using good shampoos and conditioners, having your split ends trimmed regularly (approx every 4-6 weeks is ideal) and avoiding the use of blow dryers WILL help your hair to look healthier and be easier to manage, but NONE of that will make your hair GROW. Hair growth is completely dependent on your hair follicle cycle.

Personally, lusting for as much length as I can get, I don’t get trimmed as often as I “should,” and I did once learn that if I want my hair to be HEALTHY LOOKING, I shouldn’t grow it past the top of my shoulders (eek I can’t believe I’d done that, but obviously I grew it down my back again and it’s gonna stay there). So my hair is long (well, as long as I can get mine to be), but admittedly it’s ratty looking on the bottom. Guess what, let it be ratty – at least it’s long! I go for split ends trims at intervals of 2-6 months now and then only get maybe an inch to an inch and a half taken off the bottom, i.e., to remove the absolute worst of the split ends and even it out.

Anyway, what you need to do is determine the absolute maximum length to which your hair will grow. To do this, you have to NOT CUT IT AT ALL for a minimum of 3-4 years. I am positive that the halfway down the back point is my personal maximum because I went 14 years without cutting it and that’s as long as it ever got. Then I tried the suggestion The Gaspode just offered here (“cut it”) though it was someone else who said I should try it obviously. I listened, however when I started getting it trimmed, it STILL never got any longer. In fact, by the time it had regained its former length, it was time to get it trimmed again when I was keeping with a schedule. Now here’s why I suggest that you don’t cut it at all for 3-4 years in order to determine your maximum length:

When I got my first job in a microbiology lab, the rules were that anyone whose hair was past shoulder length had to wear a ponytail. I did this for a year, but the truth is, I really REALLY HATE how I look in ponytails (or with my hair up at all – I like it loose!). So I decided to cut it just so I wouldn’t have to wear the ponytails any more. And for the next eight years, I kept my hair at “top of the shoulder” length. Which is also how I know that’s the length at which my hair looks HEALTHY, though it obvously does nothing for my “length lust.” Well anyway, when I left the field, I stopped cutting my hair and let it grow until the split ends were so bad I couldn’t deal with them anymore. It took three years and the length I reached was halfway down my back – the same length I’d always stayed at in those 14 years I never cut my hair at all. Then I found out the stuff about the hair follicles determining hair growth, it all made sense. Now since I obviously don’t know your follicles’ cycles or how fast your hair grows (mine grows slow, too :::::sigh:::::), so I can only base my recommendation on finding your max length on going for as long as you can without cutting and see how long your hair gets.

Good luck!

7

Use scrunchies rather than elastics for pony tails, and I actually prefer buns and braids to tails. Pony tails tend to break hair.

Be careful with your hair, don’t blow dry it, use gentle brushes, don’t use hairspray, wash the roots as often as you need to, but condition the ends every time you get in a shower. I used three different kinds of conditioner when I had hair down to my butt. A heavy/for color treated hair one for the last six inches, an every day/normal weight one for the mid span to the nape of my neck, and a light one for my head. I also did those deep conditioning treatments every week or two.

I haven’t had any different experiance with the cut/don’t cut issue. Its about the same. But your hair does have a maximum length, mine is brushing the top of my butt.

8

Medea’s Child writes,

<Be careful with your hair, don’t blow dry it, use gentle brushes, don’t use hairspray, wash the roots as often as you need to, but condition the ends every time you get in a shower. I used three different kinds of conditioner when I had hair down to my butt. A heavy/for color treated hair one for the last six inches, an every day/normal weight one for the mid span to the nape of my neck, and a light one for my head. I also did those deep conditioning treatments every week or two.

I haven’t had any different experiance with the cut/don’t cut issue. Its about the same. But your hair does have a maximum length, mine is brushing the top of my butt.>

I heartily commend this advice. My hair, however, is on the dry/brittle side, so I don’t wash it every day (it only NEEDS to be washed 2x a week). When I want to shower but not wash my hair, I put my hair high up in a scrunchy and keep it out of the water (I guess I’m too lazy and cheap to buy a shower cap, LOL). And when I DO wash my hair, I use shampoos like Biolage Hydrating and Quench, and conditioners like Redken Heavy Cream and Biolage Conditioning Balm. Oh yeah, since you mentioned conditioner for color treated hair (whether you color your hair or not I take it), I’d like to recommend ColorVive Dry Defense; that’s very good too.

Now one more thing – did you say your hair WAS to the top of your butt (MY DREAM LENGTH!)? You mean you cut it!!! How could you?! I’ll bet it was absolutely GORGEOUS!

9

Here’s a great site on the feeding and care of long hair:

The Long Hair Site

Good luck!

10

Thank you so much for this, Siberia. I accessed the link and bookmarked it for in-depth exploration later (i.e., when I’m finished with today’s wanderings on the SDMB).

Not that my hair’s ever going to get as long or as gorgeous as what I saw on that homepage, but I want to confirm that my present hair-care techniques are good for long hair (if you can even call halfway down my back “long” that is, but alas that’s as long as it ever got and I’m sure as hell not cutting it shorter again!)…and if they’re not, to make modifications.

I’ve noticed that the quality of my hair has at least improved since I (a) stopped washing it every day, (b) stopped blowdrying it, and © started using better shampoos and conditioners, but rare indeed are the days when it’s straight and smooth. And then, when those days come along, it’s hairwash day. To wit: I wash my hair 2x a week (put it up in a scrunchy when I want a shower but not a hairwash). Then I notice that my hair looks better the day AFTER I wash it rather than the day I DID wash it – or even worse, when it’s actually starting to get dirty. My hair actually DOES look good on the day it actually needs the washing. But then I have to wash it anyway because I want it to be CLEAN. But when it’s clean, it doesn’t look as good. I can’t win! Anyone else have this problem?

11

Didn’t Cecil address something related to this recently? Hair length is genetically determined, so if you don’t have the genes for it, no amount of pampering is going to make it grow.

12

For what it’s worth…when my hair got a bit frazzled on the ends, I would use Mane and Tail (Straight Arrow Brand, from the feedstore, NOT the version sold for people) on the ends.

During stressful times I would use it all over my hair, or use as a deep conditioner.

I have perfume allergies, and other good conditioners would make me wheeze, but the horse version had no extra perfumes, and it worked for me.

I just cut about 3-4 feet off my hair. No damage, no split ends. (No hairdryers or chemicals for six years, either.)

13

I have waist-length hair myself, so I will tell you what I do.

I wash in the morning with hydrating shampoo ( I use biolage, which is expensive, but I love it). After that I use conditioner, I think any brand will work, I use biolage cream.

Next I put herbal essences leave-in conditioner in. I swear by this stuff! It is the best, I have to have herbal essences.

I then use a wide-tooth comb to comb it. They leave the least wear and tear on your hair.

Some tips: I always use a scrunchie when I put my hair up, it doesn’t tear it as easily. Also when you take out a hair band, try not to pull it out, try to unwrap it first, it’s easier on your hair.

I really only trim my hair twice a year.
Make sure you trim your hair as often as needed, so it doesn’t start to look straggly.

I don’t own a bottle of hairspray, I do use mousse when I blow-dry. I barely ever blow-dry, if you have to blow-dry, give your hair a break on the weekends, or whenever you can.

This might just be a coincidence, but when I wash my hair, I scrub my scalp also, I am not sure if this helps boost hair growth, but it’s worth a shot!

I also second the bun instead of the pony-tail. My hair is in a bun a lot of the time.

Good luck! Long hair is fun!

14

MrWhatsit has nearly waist-length hair. (Pic here.)

He washes it once or twice a week. (It’s not oily, so this isn’t as nasty as it sounds.) He gets it trimmed about twice a year, although honestly it could use a trim more often than that. After about three months, the split ends start getting out of control. Whenever he washes, he uses a pretty heavy-duty conditioner, although I think this is more to prevent tangles than to actually protect or shinify his hair. He also wears a ponytail almost every day, in about the same place, and hasn’t noticed much breakage or hair loss in that location.

Then again, MrWhatsit has the world’s greatest hair, so there’s not much he could do to it that would harm it, imho.

15

Ohhh,I hope you don’t mind my saying so, but your MrWhatsit is a FOX – he looks ALOT like my boyfriend!!! :smiley: My bf’s hair is just about the same color as MrWhatsit’s, but not as long - my bf’s hair is ‘only’ as long as mine is (halfway to the waist). But like MrWhatsit:D my bf (me too for that matter) only “needs” to wash his hair 2x a week, but neither of us have oily hair so it doesn’t look gross and greasy. And he also conditions for detangling purposes only. (I’m just as concerned with protection and “shinification” as I am with detangling).

However, my bf not only wears ponytails (he has to for work), but he uses the elastic ones, and while his hair is beautiful, straight, soft and shiny (it’s to die for, IMNSHO!) on its own, he is experiencing some breakage in the ponytail area. I tried to convert him to scrunchies, but his first argument was that he wasn’t going to wear “bright girlie colors.” My response was to give him every single black and dark blue scrunchy I owned. :wink: Problem is, he lost them (he loses lots of stuff, so I don’t think it “meant anything”). I could buy him more, but somehow I don’t think that’ll do any good.

One more thing I unsuccessfully tried to get him to do, since he complains about how easily his hair tangles and how sick he gets of untangling it – is use a wide tooth comb after the hairwash. I do this (my hair tangles easily too). His habit is to wait until his hair DRIES, and THEN he BRUSHES it out! EEEEEK!:eek: But he says that’s easier for him.

Trimming – intervals of months, and he does it himself! He could use a bit of evening-out from that, but his ends on the bottom are actually in good shape and you have to look really closely to see the unevenness; the only minimal breakage he has at all is in the aforementioned ponytail area.

Guess I may as well leave him alone on his refusal to use scrunchies or detangle after washing with a wide tooth comb; I mean, even with what I consider such shocking habits, his hair is still gorgeous anyway. And, he HAS taken up using the shampoos and conditioners I’ve passed his way (Biolage and Redken mostly).

16

My hair is only slightly past my shoulders, so I’ve got no cred here :p, but what about wearing your long hair in a braid? (Or don’t men do that?) That keeps it tangle-free and doesn’t put so much tension on the hair that it breaks.

17

BluMoon says,

<I wash in the morning with hydrating shampoo ( I use biolage, which is expensive, but I love it). After that I use conditioner, I think any brand will work, I use biolage cream.>

I also use Biolage Hydrating (most of the time) but I also use Biolage Quench sometimes. Conditioners I favor are Biolage Conditioning Balm, Biolage Moose Conditioner and Redken Heavy Cream. I love Biolage!

<Next I put herbal essences leave-in conditioner in. I swear by this stuff! It is the best, I have to have herbal essences.>

I also do the leave-in conditioner thing, only I use the Redken with avocado extract or Matrix Extreme; the latter is actually a styling creme but I found out there’s a big difference between using it and not using it in terms of smoothness and how my hair “falls” when it dries.I continue to comb it through while my hair IS actually drying because my hair is wavy left to itself and I want it to be as straight as possible. The Matrix definitely helps with my straightness issue.

<I then use a wide-tooth comb to comb it. They leave the least wear and tear on your hair.>

My mother told me this many years ago (she used to be a dept store floor model and then a cosmetician) and although I never listened to a hell of a lot she had to say, this advice I took and to this day I won’t comb out my hair without my wide-tooth comb.

<Some tips: I always use a scrunchie when I put my hair up, it doesn’t tear it as easily. Also when you take out a hair band, try not to pull it out, try to unwrap it first, it’s easier on your hair.>

I do use scrunchies (though these days, the only times I put my hair back or up at all are to eat since I don’t like hair in my food, and to take a shower when I’m not interested in a hairwash).

<I really only trim my hair twice a year.
Make sure you trim your hair as often as needed, so it doesn’t start to look straggly.>

Er, uh, well, if I cut my hair to the point whre it doesn’t look at all straggly, it’ll be all the way up to the top of my shoulders :frowning: Personally I’d rather have all the length my genes will permit, no matter what.

<I don’t own a bottle of hairspray, I do use mousse when I blow-dry. I barely ever blow-dry, if you have to blow-dry, give your hair a break on the weekends, or whenever you can.>

If I blowdry at home five times a year, that’s a lot. And I don’t own or use hairspray at all. When I go to the salon for wash/trim/blowdry (not as often as I “should” but I do go on occasion) I ask them specifically not to use any hairspray, but actually that’s because I don’t want any sticky stuff in my hair. I like it soft. If eschewing hairspray is actually good for my hair too, so much the better.

<This might just be a coincidence, but when I wash my hair, I scrub my scalp also, I am not sure if this helps boost hair growth, but it’s worth a shot!>

Maybe it might make your hair grow FASTER, but since maximum hair length is predetermined by hair follicle type/cycle (which is determined by genetics, as another poster mentioned before), scalp scrubbing won’t make it grow LONGER than whatever your maximum is. However, I too scrub my scalp, but I do it because I desire cleanliness, especially since I don’t wash my hair every day.

<I also second the bun instead of the pony-tail. My hair is in a bun a lot of the time.>

Er, uh, don’t you make buns using pony tails as a “base?” This might seem ignorant (and I haven’t even tried to wear a bun in maybe 14-15 years: I not only hate the way I look in ponytails, but I hate the way I look with my hair up at all)…However, the only way I’ve ever known how to make a bun at all was to lean down at the waist, brush my hair forward, make a “ponytail” on top of my head, wrap it around into a bun, stand up slowly holding it in place with one hand and then using bobby pins to secure it. Needless to say I thought it was a real pain in the posterior and I couldn’t be bothered with buns when my one and only reason for wearing them died out (and that was my Star Trek roleplaying: wearing a bun worked a lot better with my uniform than long loose hair or ponytails). :wink:

18

Ahhhh, I love braids. Alas, I can’t do them anymore (not since the migraine induced stroke I had ten years ago which left me with a partially paralyzed left hand, permanently). But one way I used to love wearing my hair was loose but with a single small braid coming down on one side (usually; sometimes I did it on both sides).

Since my stroke, I’ve tried a few times on and off to make one of those little braids and only succeeded barely. I used to be able to make a perfect one in two mins at most, but the only barely adequate one I was able to do took me maybe 45 mins or an hour. I don’t have that kind of time to spend on things like this, nor do I have that kind of tolerance for sheer frustration.

19

Lots of good advice, but no one has suggested this yet: Braid your hair at night. If you braid it tight, especially when it’s wet, it’ll get kinky, which you may or may not want, but a loose braid works fine, too. This will prevent tangles, and it’s not a pain to sleep on.

Yersinia, I mostly wear my hear in a bun. I don’t put it at the top of my head, but at the nape of my neck. Bobby pins are a PAIN IN THE ASS. It’s easier to use a hair stick (or a pencil).

For purposes of directions, imagine that you’re looking down, so “down” means “toward your head.” Make your hair into a tight bun, the insert the stick in the right hand side of the bun pointing straight down. Draw the point along your scalp, underneath all the hair, and then bring the point up and out on the left hand side, like you’re trying to scoop out the middle part of the hair

Also, look for “updo pins,” which are plastic prong thingies. They are a little more subtle than a stick, but easier to use than bobbie pins–you only need about three to secure a bun. Apply the same principle as for hair sticks, stick 'em in and lever 'em out.

20

Hmmm. Consider me even more “ignorant” than the OP who created this thread then. I have no idea what you’re talking about when you say “down” means “towards your head,” or whatever this stick (and the updo pins) are – never heard of 'em and I’m sure I wouldn’t know them if I saw them. But thank you anyway.

:slight_smile: