Let’s talk about the care and feeding of long hair.
I’m starting this thread to get advice for taking care of my 8-year-old daughter’s long hair. We constantly have the problem of it getting knotty and ratty around the last few inches. She has brown hair which is currently about 12 inches long.
She uses shampoo and conditioner about twice a week. But even after the shower, when it’s still wet, it still has the problem with tangles, and it definitely hurts her to pull through it.
We had it trimmed about a week ago, and had them take off about 2 inches. I was hoping the problem was split ends, and that a trim would would take care of things, but the problem still remains.
So girls (or guys), what techniques do you use to reduce those tangles and knots in long hair? What shampoo and conditioners do you use? Any particular de-tangling sprays or treatments?
(We’d like her to keep long hair, so please don’t come in and just say “cut it short”.)
Hi, my hair’s about 10 inches long and it’s not the type of hair you necessarily keep long. It gets pretty nasty and tangled if I don’t keep up on it, but since I do it looks pretty good and really healthy all the time. I wash it with shampoo every two days, and every third day I condition. I usually put a bunch of conditioner in and leave it in for about 5 minutes and then wash it out. On days where I don’t wash or condition, I just get it wet; when I dry it I usually don’t mess with it too much. The best advice that I’ve gotten is NOT to comb hair when it’s wet but to WAIT until it’s dry to comb. I finger comb mine while it’s damp and then let it dry before I comb with a brush. Since I started waiting til it’s dry to comb, I’ve had little to no tangles, or noticeable hair breakage.
Can we sing instead?
*
Gimme a head with hair, long beautiful hair
Shining, gleaming, steaming, flaxen, waxen
Give me down to there, hair!
Shoulder length, longer (hair!)
Here baby, there mama, Everywhere daddy daddy
*
My hair is mid-back length or so, usually worn in a pony tail. I just shampoo and condition, then comb out any tangles.
It’s funny, just yesterday I finally gave in to my five year old daughter’s pleas and let her cut her hair short. VERY short. She loves it! She has very thick black hair that does tangle easily even with regular trims. Before the cut we had a lot of luck with the green bottle Sunsilk leave-in styling creme. It is getting hard to find though, around here anyway. My problem with detanglers is after a day her hair would look greasy.
I have heard about waiting until it’s dry to comb, but that was impossible for her hair. If we waited it would be even harder to comb through, and there was a lot of breakage.
My hair is about halfway down my back and very kinky curly. The only way to even get a comb through is to douse it with conditioner (I like Pantene and Sunsilk for STRAIGHT hair; it seems to work better than the curly hair variety), comb it, then carefully rinse it without moving the combed hair about too much.
I’ve had long hair for about 25 years. I have a lot of hair, but it’s quite fine and wavy, so tangles and knots are something with which I’m very familiar.
In my experience, wet hair is always the most difficult and painful to brush through. I don’t know if it’s the texture of my hair that is the issue, but combing it or brushing it after I’ve showered has always been a problem for me. Happily, though, there are some things I do that have substantially reduced the tangles and thus, the pain.
Putting my hair in a ponytail or braid while sleeping.
Brushing my hair before I get into the shower, while it’s still dry and easier to detangle.
Washing (and conditioning) my hair gently. Being gentle at this point means far fewer tangles at the end. I use Nexxus shampoo and conditioner, the kind meant for smoothing hair. Gently towelling my hair dry after the shower also helps.
Waiting for my hair to dry 10 minutes or so after I get out of the shower seems to make it a little easier. I can’t wait for it to dry completely, however, because it just makes the knots worse. YMMV, depending on the hair texture.
Using a Goody Ouchless Detangling Comb or Ouchless Cushion Brush. I cannot express what a huge difference the brushes make. In fact, my son had long skater-type hair for a couple of years, and the Ouchless brushes were the only brushes we could get through his hair. Seriously, these things are fantastic.
I don’t know if I can explain this well but: If I just try to brush my hair all the way from my scalp to the ends, it gets caught in the knots at the end and feels like I’m trying to rip my hair out at the scalp. If I hold a section firmly in my hand before brushing it, the pulling never reaches my scalp. Once I’ve worked the knots out, then I brush all the way from my scalp to the ends.
Man, who would have thought I’d have so much to say about detangling?
Johnson and Johnson makes a good detangler spray that worked well on my daughters long, prone-to-ratting, thin hair when she was young. There is an Equate Brand (Wal-Mart) equivalent that is cheaper and just as effective.
Also the way it is washed might make a difference- instead of piling it up and squishing it all around, keeping it straight and working in one direction might prevent tangles. And I know you want to keep it long, but if the tangles are mainly in the ends or last few inches of the hair it could be due to split ends or breakage, and a trim might help (just he split ends though, no need to go short).
The way that it is combed could make it easier (or harder) too. If you are starting at he top and trying to pull the comb through and encountering tangles, try starting from the bottom. Take the last few inches in your hand and comb down, then the next few inches above that, etc. If it is being held it will also take the pressure off the top of the head and will keep it from pulling and being so “owie” during the comb out.
If you have tried all that and still have problems, then I would take precautions against tangling to begin with; comb it out then put it in a braid for the night, not letting her go to bed with her hair down, brush it frequently between combings…stuff like that.
I have hair about halfway down my back, to just below my bra strap. It’s medium thickness, medium density. Here’s what I do. YMMV.
I wash and condition my hair twice a week. I use Pureology shampoo (my hair is colored, highlighted, and lowlighted) and Aquage healing conditioner. I use Aquage spray-in leave-in conditioning spray afterwards. I straighten my hair with a flat iron after blow-drying, and I use Tresemme heat conditioning spray to protect against heat damage.
I thoroughly brush my hair before I get in the shower with a paddle brush. When my hair is conditioning in the shower, I run a vent hairbrush (one of the ones with very widely-spaced bristles) through slowly to detangle while the conditioner is still in my hair. The bristles are tipped with plastic to prevent breaking the hair. When I wash my hair, I do not pile it all up on top of my head in a ball - I just pour the shampoo on the top of my head, work it through to the scalp and wash the scalp only. The hair itself gets clean as the shampoo runs down the shafts of the hair and washes out.
Between washes, I brush my hair with a vent brush. I do what spoike talked about above - I grab my hair at the nape of my neck, and brush starting at the ends, working my way up the hair bundle to my hand. Then, once the end tangles are out, I brush from scalp to ends.
My mom used to get Johnson’s No more tangles Leave-in Conditioner for me up until I was a teenager. I had very thick long hair and I could get knots the size of golf balls.
My hair was usually washed twice a week and then just towel dried.
Also, brushing hair while wet can stretch & break hair, so we always used a wide toothed comb to detangle hair while wet, and let the hair dry, preferably naturally before brushing it.
My mom would usually do 2 or three braids to keep it from tangling any more, and I would sleep with the braids in.
In the morning, I’d brush my hair with a paddle brush with plastic tips, and if my hair was still slightly damp I’d blow dry then (because I wasn’t blow drying from wet, only damp, it did far less damage).
At night, I’d brush my hair again with a paddle brush to remove any tangles and then with a bristle brush to smooth it out & distribute the oils.
And lastly braids would go back in before bed - until I cut off all my hair as a teenager, there was rarely a night I slept without braids, and if I did, my hair would get nasty knots, even as an adult when I grew my hair out again about 8 years ago, I went back to braids for bed because mornings were less of a hassle.
Brush before getting into the shower.
Shampoo with whatever’s around.
ALWAYS use a good conditioner (I realize this is a point of contention here on the Dope, but I assure you that my hair tangles significantly less with Paul Mitchell than it does with some greasy Pantene).
Once a week, use a deep conditioning treatment. My favorites are the henna/ placenta treatments from Hask (which are seriously about $1), but any other thick deep conditioner will be good (basically, anything you leave in for 3+ minutes that is a thick cream).
Then, long term, make sure the ends are trimmed regularly.
If I had to guess, I’d say your daughter probably isn’t conditioning correctly, because even my tangle proned hair is absolutely slick and wonderful after a shower. In fact, the only time in recent memory that my hair did tangle a ton post shower was when I was in Peru and using some drug store brand conditioner (not bringing the good stuff to Peru, thanks!).
A good conditioner is important (I use Biolage) but if you are adverse to the pricey stuff for whatever reason, there are other things you can use. Olive oil does wonders for long hair (but will make it smell funny if you use too much) and helps detangle/condition too. And I have heard about using mayonnaise and other icky things, but wouldn’t recommend it (because it’s gross ;)).
There are also places like Sally Beauty Supply that carry the Great Value Products which are knock-offs of the salon conditioners for a lot less. They list both their ingredients and the ingredients of the brand they are copying so that you can be sure you are getting essentially the same thing. I have never personally used it, but my daughter has used their version of Matrix products with no differences noticed (it even smells the same).
Also, if you are having trouble finding the right products and dryness/tangles are an issue and oiliness/greasiness is not, then you could try products meant for “black” hair (African-American, not the color). These are typically highly oily so I would use them only in extreme cases of dryness and tangles.
I would try using a little oil, preferably jojoba, on the last few, most-tangle-prone inches. Olive oil or any other vegetable oil will work too if you want to try it first without buying a special product. I like jojoba best because it’s not heavy, it doesn’t smell like food, it keeps a long time without going rancid, I can get it cheap in bulk, and because I’ve read that its chemical composition is closest to natural human sebum.
You don’t need much at a time, just a few drops spread over your palms and sort of patted on the hair ends before you comb anything. You can even put a little bit on a comb – spread a few drops on your palms, then press the comb between your hands – and use that on her whole head. Unless you use a lot of oil, her hair won’t look or feel oily and won’t get dirty any faster than with an expensive leave-in type conditioner.
–from emmaliminal, whose hair is currently about 12" long, but was 24-30" long for many years.
We’re in the same situation (8 year old with long tangly hair). I feel your pain!
We don’t use anything fancy as far as shampoo or conditioner goes (I think it’s Suave coconut shampoo and conditioner this time around.)
One thing I find that helps is Infusium leave-in treatment right after her hair is washed and conditioned. It definitely makes her hair more manageable, but I’m the one to do the spraying and brushing for the job to be done properly.
Another thing that helped is having her hair in braids most of the time - there was no chance for it to get too messed up.
My Sally Beauty Supply always seems to be out of the Biolage version, but I keep meaning to try it. My daughter loves the Matrix versions of the GVP brand.
Try the Paul Mitchell Lavender Tea Tree generic conditioner they have- smell’s great and works really, really well (it’s what I grab if they are out of Biolage).
As far as always keeping her hair in a braid, I’ve never understood people who do this (adult women, in particular). If you have long hair but keep it back all the time. . . why have long hair? Like I said, I have super tangle prone hair, but with good care, it is fine and I wear it down every single day. If I started wearing it up or back all the time, I’d just cut it shorter.
Comb from the bottom down, using a wide tooth comb. Comb the bottom couple of inches, then start again an inch or so above that. Don’t ever comb from the top.
I’ve always felt the same way about keeping long hair up/back. Not much point in having it if you just keep it in a braid. But for nighttime and sleeping, a braid saved my young daughter from a forced pixie cut. Wearing hair up or in a braid really helps keep it from tangling during sleep (and makes pretty waves the next morning) and is a quick way to control things.
My hair is just past my shoulders now, but I wore it at my waist for a long time, and it’s curly to boot, so I’ve experienced tangles a few times.
I tend to do the no-poo thing (mostly because of dry hair) but condition it within an inch of it’s life. In addition to conditioning in the shower a couple of times a week, I use spray leave-in conditioner daily. In the winter when the air is dry, sometimes a bit of cocoa butter or tea tree oil massaged into my hands then lightly into the hair helps.
I don’t even use a comb and very seldom a brush, but a hair pick. The teeth are spread apart enough to avoid knotting my hair.
When my hair was long, I braided it at night. Now, I usually just put it in a ponytail to sleep.
All of this seems to work, as I seldom get bad tangles.
Wearing hair up or in a braid really helps keep it from tangling during sleep (and makes pretty waves the next morning) and is a quick way to control things.
