As some of you might remember, I’m the proud owner of a four-year-old daughter. My little girl is the proud owner of a shock of thick red hair that has grown down past her waist, and I’m of the opinion that dealing with a little girl’s hair is a genetic failing in Fathers.
I’ve tried everything I can think of, and the best I can do for her is a half-assed ponytail that causes her nursery school teacher to look at me with that particularly withering, “I know you’re wearing dirty underwear,” glare that only teachers can communicate.
It’s just me and her older brother here by way of stylists, and they don’t teach coiffure in the second grade, so my son is no help.
To be honest, the poor child really does look like a refugee from a style-impaired sub-Saharan ghetto most of the time, since she’s so active that even the best of my pathetic efforts falls out minutes after she leaves the house. But she, and the world at large, screams blue murder when I suggest cutting her hair to a managable length.
Is there some simple trick, short of cutting her hair off, that I can use to assure the world that we’re not really clueless? (Okay, strike that. I am clueless, else I’d not be posting this in the first place . . . )
Dr. Watson
“What is a weed? A plant whose virtues have not yet been discovered.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson
Get her a nice headband (several, actually)and make sure you brush her hair very well first. It will keep the hair out of her face and even a dad can put one on. (For that matter, she can put it on herself) You can even get one of the stretchy plactic ones that have “teeth” and actually pull the hair back farther (girls, help me out–what are they called? Do you even know what I am talking about?)
I also had very long, very thick hair as a child and no one but my mother could put it up–not even my godmother or grandmother. The key to a ponytail is to keep brushing until you get all the hair grasped tightly in your hand (if you are a righty, hold hair in left hand), really pull it back as hard as possible without either hurting her or pulling it out. Then take a ponytail holder (not a cloth scrunchie type–will fall, and not one of those evil knuckle-busting ones with two plastic balls/characters on the ends–get a plain elastic (not rubberband!!! non-hair-breaking, round ponytail holders. Place it around the tightly held ponytail once. Then switch the ponytail to the other hand–still holding it very tightly. Stretch the holder out as far as it will go before you wrap it again. Repeat until it is physically impossible to wrap the elastic again. If you did this correctly, it should stay. (Getting it out is another matter!) Now, if your daughter is head-sore, then I’m sorry. There is nothing you can do!
Those who are dancing look insane to those who cannot hear the music.
One-of-a-kind, custom-designed Wally sig available on request.
Braid? Yikes! (Did I mention that Dads in general are saddled with a ‘Y’ chromosome that is pre-programmed to reject any and all efforts to rationally deal with a little girl’s hair?)
You might as well ask me how I’m going to explain the ‘facts’ some eight or ten years from now. The ‘headband’ idea sounds like it has promise though . . . simple, mechanical, geometric . . . and probably guaranteed to have her laughed out of school . . . Sigh.
I think I might have to get married again . . .
Dr. Watson
“Incompetent, but conscientious about it.”
Next time you are at the hairdressers getting her a trim, why don’t you ask the hairdresser to show you how to do a ponytail (or whatever else for that matter), my hairdresser is always willing to show me how to do any new ‘hair trick’.
FWIW, my husband can braid hair…is there something wrong with him? Should I trade him in? Why can my husband do all these ‘girly’ things? What’s up with that?
Thanks for the smile this morning.
How do you feel about doing someone you don’t know?
Please, please, please (on my knees) please, please ~~ originally posted by GolfWidow
Hee Hee - Dr. Watson, your post reminded me of when my little brother was born and my Dad had to me & my sister’s hair for the first time. He left us alone in the waiting room, and a nun thought that we were abandoned homeless children. Didn’t help that he let us pick out our own clothes, either…
Anyway, don’t feel bad, I’m a girl and I still have a hard time making my niece’s hair look good. Her hair looks exactly like Diana Ross’s, it’s way too much to deal with and she’s always asking for french braids or to wear it down. I usually just part it straight down the middle and make it into two plain piggy tail braids. To be honest she hates it - but it does cut down on the tangles and makes it so much easier to comb out the next day. And can you imagine how cute a little red-headed girl would look in piggytail braids!
If it’s all one length, you can secure it with a coated rubber band, but not next to her scalp. Envision Elaine on “Seinfeld”. She would scoop her hair into a ponytail, but would put the rubber band 3/5 of the way down. It still keeps it out of their face and eyes, but is a change of pace.
Dr. Watson, it is possible to learn to braid. I have fond memories of teaching my motorcycle ridin’ Vietnam vet father to braid My Little Pony hair as a child. Get your daughter to teach you. I’m sure she knows how. Then you just have to do either one long braid once a day or pig tails, her hair is out of the way, and very respectable looking.
I have always dreamed of long, red hair. Instead i am stuck with frizzy brown. Feh.
Anyways, hie yourself to a bookstore and look for the “Braiding for Klutzes” book in the kid section. Not the “. . . for Idiots” titles with the yellow cover, but the people who did the juggling for klutzes and other fun book with colorful covers and attached bags of accessories. They’ll show you step by step how to do simple and more complex braids.
Also, get yourself:
a big, widetooth comb
a pick (if you don’t know, ask the nice person at the counter)
a rattail comb
some toothed hair clips so you can secure parts of her hair out of the way
hair detangler in a spray bottle
lots and lots of plain ponytail bands, pretty scrunches, barettes and other hair accessories
Always comb her hair out when it’s wet. It’ll respond to the detangler better. Then, while it’s still wet, do what you can to style it. Be gentle, and remember that wet hair stretches more than dry hair. If her hair is very thick, it may stay wet in the middle of the ponytail or braid for the whole day.
Braid her hair before she goes to sleep. It’ll cut down on the tangles.
Be prepared to spend around an hour each time you do her hair. Patience, patience, patience.
And if she’s a tenderhead (which I was), save yourself the grief and cut her hair to something more manageable. She’ll cry, yes, but in the end, she’ll be happier.
This is not just a Y chromosome thing. My daughter has long, thick light-brown hair, and I can’t do squat with it either. And it’s not her hair’s fault. It’s mine. I am completely inept when it comes to hair styling. My daughter must also be a “tender head,” as has been mentioned already in this thread. Every time I try to brush her hair, even with detangler, she flips out on me. It never occurred to me that her head might be a liitle more sensitive than most (thanks for the info, folks).
I think I’m going to have to go get that Briading for Klutzes book. Sounds like a good one. I’ll have to practice on my husband first, though. He’s got quite long hair too. Maybe if my daughter sees my doing this stuff to Daddy, she’ll chill out a little bit.
Cristi, Slayer of Peeps
I made my husband join a bridge club. He jumps next Tuesday.
Yep, Dr. W, you’re gonna have to suck it up and learn how to braid. It is actually very easy. You could buy the book, or you could just ask someone to show you.
Don’t look at me, I can’t even do anything with my own hair. And yes, despite my mom’s best efforts, I also looked like a refugee from a style-impaired sub-Saharan ghetto throughout my childhood. (Still do.) So it’s definitely not just a male thing.
But the headband idea is cool, and so are barettes and hair clips if you can keep them from slipping off. (I never could.) Or if you have any friends, neighbors, or babysitters of the teenaged-girl variety, they’d probably be delighted to teach you a few things.
As a person who has had long hair my entire life, all I can say is keep trying… it gets better.
A few suggestions…
buy a REALLY good brush… an adult size one for you to use, and kid sized one for her…(they make them to fit little hands) I know she’s only in preschool… but the sooner she learns to take part in this… the sooner you get off the hook. Teach/show her how to brush her hair… generally, it hurts much less if the person to whom the hair is attached brushes out the knots.
Get good shampoo (like a no-more tangles kids shampoo) and a spray on detangler… sounds silly… but you have no idea how much difference this stuff will make, I’m 25, and I still use it.
Headbands are a good solution for the time being (if you can get her to leave them on)but for the long term, learn to braid… it’s not hard, if you have a technical mind, it breaks down to a few simple steps that are just repeated. Practice on Saturdays, or other days when no one will see the results until you feel like you’ve got it down.
Do this in front of the TV!!! Sit the kid in front of her favorite show… you sit behind and do her hair…She will fidget less, the end result will be neater, and the time will pass faster.
And finally, be honest with your little girl. Explain that if she wants to have long hair, then it needs to be properly taken care of. If she fights you on this you will be forced to cut it short until she is willing to take care of it properly. Often repeated, this reasoning has had a pretty good effect on my 2 year niece(who has wispy curly hair that seems to collect all sorts of wierd things like play-dough and paperclips). She is normally willing to sit while her hair is combed (especially if she gets to talk about her little world) and she will frequently ask for a brush to work on it herself.
Don’t worry… the first time my dad tried to put a pony tail in my hair he got the brush so tangled in my hair it had to be cut out… I was an awful funny looking 4 year for a few weeks after that. but I didn’t notice.
“If we knew what we were doing, it would not be called research.” - Albert Einstein
Braids really are one of the best ways to keep long hair untangled. I had hair almost that long when I was little, and I usually wore it in a ponytail. However, my mom would braid it when I wanted to go swimming so that it wouldn’t get snarled.
One time I wanted to go swimming while my mother was out of town. I asked my dad to braid my hair. He was game. However, he had never braided anything with the usual, three-strand braid. He had only braided rope (some kind of experience he had in the Air Force) using a five-strand method. I went in the water, but when I got out we couldn’t even start to unbraid my hair because it was so wet and so tightly braided. It stayed in that braid for a couple of days until my mom got home. When we had to go out, my dad put a hat on me. I can only imagine what I looked like.
French braids or corn rows, when properly done, can last several days to over a week. Some hairdressers specialize in these. You could go once a week (of course, $$).
Other important trick to detangle, especially on wet hair: start from the bottom! If you begin at the root, you’ll have 2 feet of tangles to go through. Hold a lock near the tip, leaving about 6 inches hanging from your fist, and comb. Go up a few inches, and comb. In no time, you’ll get to the top, without pain for anyone.
Damn. Somehow I just knew there wasn’t going to be a simple answer here. I was hoping maybe there was some kind of ‘Ronco Miracle Hair Braider and Combination Fish Scaler’ out there just waiting to be discovered by inept fathers.
I’m starting to hyperventilate just thinking about the prospect of braids . . .
Dr. Watson
“It is the province of knowledge to speak, and it is the privilege of wisdom to listen.” – Oliver Wendell Holmes, Sr.
Braids aren’t so bad, really. My husband got the hang of it. As someone said, going to bed with the braid in really cuts down on tangles. Plus, braids are cute.
Plunk her in front of the TV and practice. You may get partway down and have to start over a few times. It really won’t take very long to master. And the Braids for Klutzes book is super.
The tears stopped abruptly at my house when this choice was given: (1) your hair is washed and combed and neatly arranged without my having to listen to a lot of sobbing and whining or (2) your hair is cut in a short bob. Whammo - instant cooperation.
I’m a single mom. Move to WI, marry me, and I’LL take care of the hair issues in the family. I’ll take her to my shop. Kids seem to cooperate better when others do them, so get someone else to do her hair, and while she sits still ask questions.
MaryAnn
I’m into superstition, black cats, and voodoo dolls (<—written in case Ricky reads this board)
(Psst. Hey fellas! Over here! Are you fellas payin’ attention to this? That makes two marriage proposals so far, and the night is still young! This is a lot better than walking a puppy in the local park. I shoulda thought of this earlier . . .)
Dr. Watson
“Not conceited enough to be flattered.”
