But…I look cute in my braids!
This, absolutely! My middle daughter, now 18, has very thick, curly hair. I would braid her hair at bedtime, minimizing tangles. But when I did have to brush it to get her ready to go anywhere, I’d start at the bottom and work my way up.
I do the same with my hair when it’s still damp from the shower (though my hair is neither thick nor curly).
Yep. In the mid '90s, I had nearly waist-length hair, until I realized I was wearing it in a braid or ponytail nearly every single day. It’s been shoulder-length or slightly longer ever since, and it’s much more versatile. In fact, I was just thinking it’s getting too long because I noticed the other day that I’m starting to rely on ponytails just a little too much.
I wear pig tails too sometimes if I’m just doing stuff around the house or going to the gym, but that’s really not an appropriate look for most offices and such. So, if I found myself pulling my long hair back into a pony or twist everyday (rather than once in a while or when I’m at the gym), then I’d just cut it.
Long hair is beautiful, but if it’s going to be constantly hidden, there isn’t much point to giving yourself the headache (and additional cost) of caring for it. Just my humble opinion, of course. Plus: wearing your hair up or pulled tight every day will cause you to have extra hair loss and bald spots from the tension. Again, why bother? Just cut it off if it’s going to be like that.
I’m a guy, but have long straight hair, down to about my mid-back. It’s always pulled back in a ponytail.
I use Pantene shampoo and conditioner, and usually shampoo in the shower. When shampooing, I try not to shampoo in such a way that my hair gets tangled (i.e. I avoid making “spaghetti” out of my straight hair). After the shampoo, I put on the conditioner and leave it in for a few minutes. Then I rinse the conditioner out. I towel-dry my head gently, and then use a wide-tooth comb. Later, after air-drying for five minutes or so, I’m ready for a regular hairbrush. I guess the important things in the way I wash my hair are (a) trying not to tangle the hair at any stage; and (b) always being gentle when shampooing, conditioning, and toweling. If I manage all that correctly, tangles are generally not a problem and combing and brushing are easy.
If you’re towel drying her hair, stop. Towel-drying is the absolutely best way to tangle long hair. Instead squeeze out the excess water before wrapping it in a towel, then once it’s no longer sopping wet take off the towel and let it air dry. Whenever possible, don’t comb or brush it until it is completely dry.
And if you notice tangles more often in the winter, her sweaters are probably the cause. I have no idea why, but certain sweaters will always cause my long hair to tangle. When that happens, I still use No More Tangles spay (the johnson and johnson product mentioned upthread) to get them out.
Not really related to tangles so much, but if you notice static or fly-aways caused by sweaters, you can also rub a dryer sheet against the hair to tame it back down. Don’t rub too much or you can make hair greasy though…and it will freshen up hair if you have been around smoke or stinky cooking too. 
Yep - I don’t ever ‘dry’ my hair - I squeeze out the excess, kind of clap my hands around it with a towel, then wrap it up to absorb most of the moisture.
Try not to use a brush on wet hair (wide tooth comb only).
Good quality brushes - the ones which are blunt nylon can split hairs. A rounded-end Denman or natural bristle brush may work better.
Good quality conditioner, and perhaps some additional product like John Frieda frizz-ease serum or Kiehls silk groom on the wet hair.
I have hair almost to my waist and I always, always, always finger comb my conditioner through my hair. Then I let it sit for about 5 minutes before washing it out. Also, I start at the ends when I put conditioner in, so that by the time I’ve gotten to the roots, the stuff on the ends has had a little extra time to soak in. Then I finger comb. When I get done in the shower, I don’t “mess up” my hair with the towel; just pat it down well so it’s not dripping. By finger combing and not rubbing the towel all over my head, I don’t even need to comb it. My hair is wavy/curly and would go crazy if I combed it after a shower.
I like having my hair in a braid or a bun, and I like letting it down in private, too. Just because the checkers at the grocery store and my co-workers and random strangers don’t get to see my hair, and think it’s up “all the time” doesn’t mean it really is up ALL the time.
I don’t have tangle problems (my hair’s very straight) but with the kid’s hair, we make sure to pat it dry longways, running the towel down the length of the hair rather than a back and forth motion, and that seems to help with the detangling. Now if I can just find detangler in the gallon size, we’ll be good.
My hair has always been long, and it’s EXTREMELY thick (no hairdresser has ever not commented on it). I have had hairdressers tell me I “must cry in the morning.” But compared to my almost-10-year-old daughter’s hair, it’s NOTHING. It’s not that her hair is so long, but she’s biracial and her hair is about impossible to keep tangle-free, so it’s always funny to me when people make a big deal of my long, wavy-ish hair.
If you daughter’s hair is hard to comb through, find a good salon-quality detangler (and shampoo and conditioner) (sorry, no specific recommendations because I just started using the salon ones, but in my experience they are a little better than drug store ones) and if necessary, put her hair in a braid at night. And when you comb it, it can help to section it off with clips and comb each section separately.
I always kept a wide-toothed comb in the shower and combed through my hair with the conditioner in it. Never try to use a brush or fine-toothed comb on wet hair, but detangling while it’s wet with a wide-toothed one will help immensely.
Any detangler should be glycerin or dimethicone based. Just read the ingredients. I have good luck finding kids detangler spray at the dollar store. I only spray it on the bottom 2-4 inches of hair - up near the scalp it;s not needed due to the natural oils.
For conditioner I’m a big fan of Nexxus Humectress. It’s expensive, but if you comb it through and leave it in for a good 2-3 minutes it does an amazing job. It is the only deep conditioner I’ve found that doesn’t take the shine out of naturally blonde hair.
I have suffered from thick tangly hair my whole life, and it wasn’t until the past year that I finally got it under control. The most important thing for me was silicone based products.
Before you shower, brush out the hair completely. In the shower, take care not to agitate the hair very much while shampooing. Do not pile her hair on the top of her head and lather! Only shampoo the scalp. Consider shampooing less often, or with a milder shampoo. Use generous portions of conditioner. I really like the Garnier length and strength shampoo/conditioner combo. If that’s not enough, try their sleek and shine. These are really silicone heavy, and it should be apparent in the shower that they are already helping to detangle.
After leaving the shower, brush through the hair. Yes, while wet. Keep in mind that the hair is most fragile now, so do not use any more force than is necessary. Next, apply Aquage Ultra Straightening Gel. This is the most important part of the process. It is a salon product, and a bit expensive, but it is unlike anything else available. Notice, it is mostly different silicones. Work a quarter’s worth through the hair and brush out again to distribute.
If you blow dry the hair, make sure you point the dryer down the shaft of the hair. Yes, this takes longer, but it will decrease the amount of tangles. If the hair gets tangly while blow drying it, stop, brush it out before it gets too bad, and resume.
Once the hair is dry, apply a shine serum. This will help coat the hair to further prevent tangles. CHI silk infusion works best, but is expensive. John Frieda has some that are okay. Work a dime sized drop through the hair, focusing on the ends. Brush again.
This will not leave her hair immune to windy days or car rides with the window open, but for me at least, it has allowed me to not be ashamed with my hair. While it looks like a lot of steps, it’s really not that bad compared to the frustration with finding yet another rat’s nest at the nape of my neck. I wish your daughter the best.
My hair is long, fine, skimpy, and oily, so I don’t get the tangling problems like others, but it does tend to look dirty after a day or so. I try to use Pantene Red Expressions, but that is getting hard to find. Occaisional conditioner, Pert Plus works great for me. I use a dresser style comb (the one with the handle), I don’t even own a brush. I find that if I comb while wet, my hair is straighter and a little smoother, but if I let it dry as is, I get a little curl or wave to it.
I’ve heard that combs of horn are good for controlling static, but they’re hard to find and pricey if you do find one.
When I started growing my wavy hair out in junior high, my mother’s hairdresser suggested keeping a comb in the shower and combing the conditioner through, so it got to every part of my hair, not just the top. I quickly learned to use the start-combing-from-the-bottom technique with that, too.
Something I’ve heard is effective, but have never tried myself, is using satin-textured pillowcases. That’s supposed to help keep hair from tangling.
One thing that helped me when I had super-long hair was regular “search and destroy” missions. I’d sit in a good light with my hair scissors and examine my ends, individually snipping any splits I saw. Over time, the tangle factor went way down and the general appearance of my hair improved, without sacrificing length. It’s not as onerous as it sounds, maybe half an hour every couple of weeks while watching tv or chatting with the family.
I miss my long hair. Now it’s mid-back and layered, and I can’t do a bloody thing with it. 
Weird. My experience is very different from a lot of the posts here.
My hair is largely straight or very slightly wavy at its current length (about 4-5 inches past my shoulders), although very curly/wavy when short. It’s fairly strong, now, although for most of my life it was very fragile (the texture changed when it grew back after chemo, before that I couldn’t get it to grow longer than my shoulders). It’s still pretty fine, though, just “weightier” and less prone to breakage/split ends than it used to be.
I don’t do anything special with my hair. I never use a brush, just a wide-toothed comb, and I generally comb before a shower and after, and yes, while still wet. I use Fructis Length & Strength shampoo and conditioner, and as long as I condition it well I have no problems getting a comb through it, wet, damp, dry, whatever. Every once in a while I’ll use a little bit of almond oil in it after shampooing, comb or finger-comb it through, leave for a couple minutes, then rinse, very lightly shampoo again, and condition as normal.
I don’t ever use a fine-tooth comb, and on the rare occasion I do get a hard tangle I carefully pull it apart with my fingers before combing it through.
What’s the texture of your daughter’s hair? How you handle it is going to be different depending on whether it’s straight or curly.
These days, you can get a hair brush with a mixture of plastic and natural bristles. This is the one I use, which is great when I have long hair-- I can’t effectively get my hair through the boar bristle only hairbrushes, and it saves me time.
I agree with all the “comb from the bottom with a wide toothed comb” comments and also the “use a good conditioner” ones-- it really does make a big difference in results. I have hair that is mostly straight with a few curly semi-coarse sections when long, but when it’s shorter and cut in layers, the back of my head is prone to waves and slight curls. There’s also a ton of it and it’s really finely textured, so it gets tangled more easily due to the number of hairs and texture.