Help! I need a clue on etiquette!!

Factual Questions
1

The background:
I did a favor for a friend and hooked up his in-laws’ DVD player that he bought them for Christmas. I hooked it into their existing surround-sound receiver and large-screen television and showed them how to operate it. I had to make some modifications to their entertainment center, so I used a hole saw and cut a hole (in an appropriate place!) and re-routed some of their wiring, so it was more presentable. Also while I was there, I found that the center channel speaker wasn’t working correctly on the surround sound, so I fixed that, too. I didn’t think it was that big of a deal, and I was happy to do it as a favor to my friend; I think I spent about an hour there, maybe a little more. I thought no more of it, until today.

The dilemma:
Today, in the mail, I received a card from my friend’s in-laws. Scribbled inside the card was a heart-felt thank you note, along with a $40(!) gift card to Chili’s. BONUSSSSSS!!! Now, however, I am in a conundrum. If it had been a simple “thank you” card, I would have probably just left it alone…but now I feel somehow compelled/obligated to acknowledge the appreciation gift.

The question:
Is acknowledging the gift card with another thank-you note of my own appropriate, or is it improper etiquette?? I wait with eager anticipation for the replies from my fellow non-etiquette-challenged Dopers!!

Thanks!!

  • Dirk
2

I’ve been in a situation such as that myself.
I would say the best way to handle it would be to send a simple thank-you card with a small note telling them that you really appreciate the gift card - it was a ‘pleasent surprise’.

Don’t say that ‘they didn’t have to do that’, or ‘you only did it as a favor’. Just say thank you and leave it at that.

3

You might mention a thanks next time you see your friend, but apart from that, I would consider the gift-certificate a simple token of appreciation for a job well-done, not requiring any formal thanks.

“Thank you.”
“Thank you.”
“No, thank you.”
“No, thank YOU.”
“No no no, really, thank YOU.”

Where does it stop, you know? :slight_smile:

Any other opinions?

4

It never hurts, and at least they’d know your little gift didn’t get lost in the mail.

5

I would say that it can never be inappropriate to say “Thank you”, but it can be inappropriate not to…So just to be safe, I would send a simple note. It could even be a funny note that says “Thank you for the thank you!” with smiles (I have done this before and it went over well).

6

Maybe it’s the lingering voice of mom in my head, but a thank you (handwritten) is in order. Maybe something like “Thank you for the gift, I will think of your kindness as I enjoy my dinner out with a special friend.” Just a thought.

7

A thank-you card doesn’t require a thank you in return, but there was a gift enclosed, which does require a thank-you note.

Just don’t send them a gift certificate, or it’ll turn into a vicious cycle. :slight_smile:

8

Or, you could call them up and belch!
My name is podcain. Really.

9

What Podkayne said.

mangeorge, you naughty.

10

If you like them, why not invite them out to lunch at Chilli’s with you?

If not, I second the idea of just sending a simple “thank you” note.

11

Just write a simple thank you mentioning the gift certificate and you’ve got yourself covered. End of story. :wink: