Help! I need to write an obituary!

In My Humble Opinion
1

My MIL died the day before yesterday. My wife wants me to write the obit, because her written English skills are a little strange. I’ve never written one before, and never really paid any attention to the ones that I’ve read in the newspaper. She sent me this rough draft this morning:

Addie Irene (Childers) Hamilton

Sept. 25, 1919 – June 9, 2009

“Peggy” Irene, 89, of Brush Prairie, WA passed away peacefully on June 9, 2009 after a lengthy illness at home. She was born Sept. 25, 1919, in Taft, CA to Lemuel Ralph Childers & Delia Ione Houston Childers. She was the last of four children who preceded her in death, sister Ireta Ione LaHargoue, and two brothers, Wilbur Houston Childers and Harold Ralph “Heavy” Childers. Peggy grew up in Springville living with her grandmother, Nancy Belle (Martin) Childers. She was also a close relative of Charles Elster of Springville. She attended Porterville High School. Soon after, she moved to Southern California and later worked for Douglas Aircraft during WWII. She married John Asa Barber and had one son, Michael. She remarried on Oct. 1, 1954 to Albert G. Hamilton and had one daughter, Denni Kay.

She is survived by her husband of 55 years, Albert of Brush Prairie, her son, Michael (Pat) Barber of Brush Prairie, and Denni Kay (Eric) Hamilton-Levonian of Vancouver, WA and four grandchildren.

Internment will take place on June 15, 2009 at Evergreen Memorial Gardens Cemetery, Vancouver, WA.

Is this pretty much standard form? I’m unsure about the first sentence. Her first name was Irene, and her nickname was Peggy. Doesn’t the real name go first, followed by the nickname in quotes? Shouldn’t the last name be there too? What about the third sentence? I’ve always been a little fuzzy on punctuating sentences like that. I’ve never really mastered the fine art of commas, semicolons, colons, and short and long dashes—most of the time I just guess, although I know some of the rules. Normally, I would go hit the Chicago and/or MLA Manuals instead of asking relative strangers for help with my homework, but I start a new job in two hours (yippee!) and she wants this like NOW. Are there any really glaring errors in any of the text? If anybody could show me how to tighten it up a bit, I’d really appreciate it.

2

Addie Irene (Childers) Hamilton

Sept. 25, 1919- June 9, 2009

Irene “Peggy,” 89, of Brush Prairie, Wash., passed away peacefully on June 9, 2009, at home, after a lengthy illness.

She was born Sept. 25, 1919, in Taft, Calif., to Lemuel Ralph Childers and Delia Ione Houston Childers. She was the last of four children; her sister, Ireta Ione LaHargoue, and two brothers, Wilbur Houston Childers and Harold Ralph “Heavy” Childers, preceded her in death. Peggy grew up in Springville living with her grandmother, Nancy Belle (Martin) Childers. She was also a close relative of Charles Elster of Springville. She attended Porterville High School. Soon after, she moved to Southern California and later worked for Douglas Aircraft during World War II. She married John Asa Barber and had one son, Michael. She remarried on Oct. 1, 1954 to Albert G. Hamilton, and had one daughter, Denni Kay.

She is survived by her husband of 55 years, Albert of Brush Prairie; her son, Michael (Pat) Barber of Brush Prairie, and Denni Kay (Eric) Hamilton-Levonian of Vancouver, Wash.; and four grandchildren.

Interment will take place on June 15, 2009, at Evergreen Memorial Gardens Cemetery in Vancouver, WA.

3

Oh—right—the abbreviations WA and CA are USPS abbreviations. I didn’t think of that—thanks.

4

The newspaper will use their style, whether they follow Associated Press or Chicago. If they determine that the last name must go in the first paragraph, they will put it in.

I also now think that the last line in the second paragraph should read "She was remarried . . . "
And will there be any calling hours, or requests for contributions to a charity? (Some newspapers do not accept requests for contributions.)

5

I spent a lot of effort writing my mother’s obituary, with a lot of personal memories that would have meant a great deal to anyone who had known her. Then the newspaper edited all of that out, and printed something very generic.

6

Yes, most newspapers reserve detailed obituaries either for publicly prominent people or for paid obituaries.