Help identify a poem: "If you have one friend...

Cafe Society
1

I am looking for a poem. It goes something like…

If you have 1,000 friends, [name] is among them, like a corn stalk in a farmer’s field.
If you have 50 friends, [name] is in there, like a seven in a deck of cards.
If you have 7 friends [name] is either the first or the last, like the days in a week.
If you have 1 friend, [name] is there for you.
And if you find that you have no friends, anywhere in the world, know that [name] is dead.

I have it in my head that the name is “Avogadro,” but with that name, google gives me 10,000 chemistry homework help pages.

Thank you.

2

Hm. If I Google for just “friends corn stalk deck of cards”, it’s down to the fourth hit before we get something about this poem… and that fourth hit is this thread (man, Google works fast). Add “poem” to the search terms, and this thread is the first hit. So if this poem ever existed anywhere outside of your own imagination, you must have misremembered at least one of those lines.

3

Sorry, tried to google it, but ended up with enormous amounts of glurge and 0 amounts of poem.

Commentary on 2016: Google “1000 friends” and you get “How to get 1000 friends on Facebook.”.

4

I tried, too. I googled each of the metaphors and came up with bupkis.