Help--I've got the house to myself!

So, my roommate Mike left tonight (going home for Thanksgiving for 2 weeks) and Liza went out for the night (theater tickets), so I have the place to myself. Just me and the cat. It’s been so long since this has happened, I’ve forgotten what one does in this situation. I’ve already turned up the stereo and opened the hidden bag of candy. What next?

Go naked.

I forget what’s like to not have a house to myself.

Here are some of the things that are great about having a house all to yourself.

You can pee with the door open.
Yes, go naked.
Dance about wildly to funky music.
No worries about having a big Mexican meal, you can fart all you want.
Sing as loud as you want, off key.

Among other things but I am used to it all so it’s normal for me.

Drink milk from the carton.
Scratch yourself anywhere, anytime.
If possible, run a nice warm bath and sit in the tub while simultaneously watching TV through the open doorway, eating cookies, having a smoke, drinking a beer, etc.

If you get too bored, I have three dogs and two babies to send your way for a few hours.

I only hope you enjoy Teletubbies. A LOT.

:smiley:
~karol

Hey, I met you in Chicago last year (before I changed my name)! I know you know how to party! Do it up, woman! :smiley:

Create a fart and email it to a friend.

Create-a-fart

Hmmm… I think it’s coming back to me. ::raids the refrigerator for Mike’s* Hard Lemonade and Captain Morgan and ponders over which to drink first::

*This is the actual brand name. I would never steal poor Mike’s beverages.

Well… :frowning:

Had the house to myself earlier this evening. What did I do?

Watched The Shooting Party with James Mason and all those British character actors. Was beaten about the head repeatedly with many heavy heavy morals. And, deep–man, were those morals deep. War is bad. Killing thousands of pheasants at once is bad. Having armies of servants to wait on you hand and foot is bad. Cheating on your husband is bad, but it’s okay if he knows about it and if he started it by having a mistress and you found out about it and anyway he’s so COMPETITIVE all the time and that’s all he cares about any more is how many of those BIRDS he can shoot…

British art films.
I wish I’d just eaten cookies in the nude.

Lost opportunities.

What to do? I hav no idea… i am currently being annoyed by a certain few siblings (blagh) and i can only hope to survive till tomorrow…

We had better hone our survival skills to be the best they can be - we are going to need it

Be careful. A boyfriend and I once thought we had the house to ourselves.

We didn’t know a roommate had let a guy crash on the couch downstairs.

face gets very, very red