I know, I know, incredibly cheesy and touristy, but we are hosting my Japanese in-laws (two sisters, one 68, one 78, plus a nephew, around 44) who have never been to Hawaii before, and there is a good chance they will want to go to one of these. We are staying at Hilton Hawaiian Village at Waikiki and will have a car if we need it to get to the location.
If you have any experience with these outfits, good or bad, I’d love to hear about it. I’ve tried to find reviews online, but they seem to be sparse. So I’d also appreciate any websites that have lots of real people reviews. What I’m looking for would be the least cheesy, most interesting, with decent food. Don’t worry about the language issue, I’m assuming the entertainment (singing, etc.) will be in Hawaiian anyway.
We already have reservations for a dinner cruise, so I’m hoping that will satisfy their need to submit to these kinds of indignities (sorry, I know I don’t sound very positive, but my expectations for these types of events are pretty low), so this is just in case.
Paradise Cove is nice- it’s a bit outside of Honolulu, in Ko Olina. Not exactly non-touristy but not too cheesy. Fun stuff to do- spear throwing, hula, outrigger rides, weaving, etc, then the show. Food’s pretty good for luau food.
Germaine’s is one of the oldest luaus in the area but I haven’t seen it in years. Used to be well-regarded.
The Polynesian Cultural Center puts on quite a show, but it’s a whole damned afternoon and evening, as it is on the windward side. Several of their acts put on a Ho Ike (a mini luau & show) at the Marriott Ko Olina a couple of times a week and it’s very good.
Good luck! I know many people think luaus are lame and cheesy, but I appreciate the talented people keeping various traditions in the public eye.
We recently had to host the whole extended family on my husband’s side in Hawaii, and although I tried to gently talk them out of it, they were hell-bent on a cheesy luau. From the research done, I concluded that the best one would probably be at the Royal Hawaiian.
In the event, we ended up at the Polynesian Cultural Center. It is tacky and horrible and the food isn’t even good. The only plusses are that it IS well-organized (it has to be, since they cycle hundreds of people through every meal) and that PCC employees a lot of students from Polynesia and Micronesia - the fact they can get jobs at the Center helps them to afford their schooling.
On the neutral-but-possibly-relevant side, the PCC is operated by the LDS church. For some people this would be a draw, for others a deal-breaker.
I’m just glad my personal luau experience is behind me. I never want to do it again.
And to state it clearly in case the OP is unfamiliar with the LDS - no alcohol of any kind at the luau. Not even beer. Not even if you ask very nicely. Not even if you offer a gratuity.
I went to the Paradise Cover Luau in January of 2005. We had a great time. You can make leis and head braid things for the guys. My husband was not the best at the spear throwing.
We had front row seats because it was our honeymoon and they honored us by having us stand up.
All in all it was a great night. We would definitely go again!
We rode in a bus on the way there and “Cousin Tang” was hysterical! He was the tour guide that talked us through our bus ride.
The show was very nice and the people were all so friendly. I even was able to buy a purse from a vendor there. Loved it!
I have been to Germaine’s twice and the Polynesian Cultural Centre once.
Germaine’s is pretty good, the show is actually really good, but there is no other “Activities” there though. The whole thing is a reasonably smooth production line. They run it by the numbers - “look here’s the pig reveal ceremony”, “everyone get your food now”, “here’s the show”, “thanks bye”. Not that it is a bad thing to do it that way, because it all runs nice and smooth, and I have enjoyed myelf immensely both times. And the Ku’ula (sp?) pork is beatiful.
The PCC, was a bit strange, the actual luau, is very organised and a bit straitjacketed I thought. The food was nice though. I did miss being able to enjoy a beer with my dinner though. The show after the meal however is great. The other benefit to the place is if you have the time go for the day experience, take the time to wander around the “villages” there are some entertaining and fun shows and activities to take in at each village. (The hula show at Tahiti - oh la la), and whatever you do make sure you see the Samoan show. Very funny.
I’ve actually been to the one at the military hotel, which is awesome in a great cheesy way and was actually-I-swear-to-God hosted by the guy who used to sing “Nothing’s Gonna Change My Love For You”. It had, you know, “cultural highlights”, but it was a real hoot in its own kitchy way. Actually, it was pretty awesome.
And the food was, I might add, incredible. Seriously. The night before I’d gone to a real serious Hawaiian rehearsal dinner where they’d done a lot of the same dishes, and I thought they were good there, but this blew it out of the water. Also, the drinks were at the military prices, which are real and fabulous.