I want to surprise my (long distance) girlfriend with a visit in a couple of weeks, but she’s gone and potentially ruined everything by asking of I’m free that weekend. I need a good and convincing sounding reason that I can’t come, so I can keep the surprise intact. Any ideas? I thought of a doctor’s appointment, but that’s unlikely on the weekend. Can’t seem to think of anything that would be plausible and keep me stuck here.
Unless you want your life to imitate a sitcom, I’d suggest not doing this. It’s just fraught with possibilities for going awry. What if you show up and she’s made other plans based on your non-availability?
It’s sweet that you want to surprise her, but I’d suggest chocolates or a puppy instead.
Flying? Nobody likes to fly with a bad head cold. Your head could explode.
My advice is to level with her. “Wow, that’s a coincidence; I was planning to surprise you with a visit that weekend! See you then!”
Surprises are overrated, and sometimes misfire horribly; suppose you came up with an excuse, and she thought, “Well, ta heck with that then; I’ll just go to the beach with the Girls.” You arrive, nobody home, you feel bad, she feels bad, bad all around.
Sweaty boot rash.
But seriously, just tell her you’re free and go. She wants to see you. Disappointing her, then showing up out of the blue, isn’t earning you any extra points IMO.
This. Don’t surprise her.
Pretend you have to do a drug intervention for Sheldon’s cousin Leo in Long Beach.
Women want to be prepared for visits with a long distance love. She’ll be mortified if she’s not freshly bikini waxed or shaven, hasn’t touched up her roots or mani-pedi, worn the good panties, plucked her eyebrows, washed her sheets, tossed the green fuzzy stuff from the fridge, and cleaned the place. Guys usually don’t care. Girls do.
I do love surprises, and this kind of surprise visit too. I’ve done similar surprises loads of times as well, and it always worked out well. Only… I think maybe she really has gone and ruined it by suggesting it herself?
Not that we couldn’t come up with an excuse, I’m sure we could. ([Friend] just got back from hospital, needs extra help?) But it just wouldn’t be the same. There would always be the shadow of a doubt that you planned the surprise after her suggestion. Plus there is the disappointment of you saying no. It would never be quite as fun as the proper, ultimate surprise the way you originally planned it.
Since I genuinely think it would be a cool surprise, could you save it up? Don’t tell her now what you were actually planning, agree to go, surprise her next time?
Add me to this pile-on.
I would be somewhat annoyed if someone made something up, thereby disappointing me, just to “surprise” me later. Especially in an LDR, which has to be built both on trust and on anticipation of good things later. If you took away my anticipation for no good reason, that would make me annoyed.
I flew with a cold once. Not fun. Don’t want to do that again.
Don’t do it. While this could come across as romantic and impulsive, it could also end very poorly for you.
Then bring Sheldon’s cousin along when you make your surprise visit so it will seem plausible.
Heck, I’m a guy, and I’m with the girls on this one. If I had a long-distance girlfriend (or, frankly, even a local one), I sure as hell wouldn’t want her to to show up out of the blue, to find me unshaven and hung over, with my apartment looking like a war zone, with my smelly feet on my desk, watching a porno, which is my natural state whenever I don’t know I’m having people over.
Really. Give me a week to prepare.
Do not do this. Just say you can come. I’d be pissed off as heck if someone pulled this with me.
Ye gods, what a bunch of killjoys. I was expecting a couple of dissenting wet blankets, but not this level of pile on. I will, however, take the dissenting voices on board, though I was just looking for some light-hearted suggestions, rather than a breakdown of why this is a terrible idea - but hey, advice is advice
Okay, believe me when I say I know this isn’t an issue. I know she’ll be around. She’s studying for an exam, so isn’t going to make sudden plans to head off into the wilderness for a road trip, or go out partying all night.
Also, I hope you’re being sarcastic about the puppy, because honestly, you think a surprise visit is a bad idea, but a surprise puppy is a suitable gift? Even for a dog lover (which she is), an unannounced dog is a terrible present for the person, and potentially much worse for the dog.
Yeah… I’m thinking that might be the best option at this point. A bit disappointing, but perhaps wise, in the big scheme of things. Just for the record, though, I’m not trying to earn extra points; more wanting to be a bit more spontaneous and fun.
See, now this is useful advice. I bet I could convincingly tell this story. 
Nice of you to paint with such a broad brush and assume all girls are identical, but believe me, again, when I say I know this won’t be an issue.
I could… but the same objections would apply next time, wouldn’t they? How do I know she’ll be free? What if she’s made other plans? What if (heaven forbid) she hasn’t had time to shave her legs and put on her good panties?
Also a valid point. You’re absolutely right that the anticipation of visits has been part of this relationship, but we’re going on holiday a week after the planned visit, so there’s anticipation for that already. I was just trying to sneak in an impromptu unexpected visit, because of this constant feeling in an LDR that we have to plan everything ages in advance. Just once it would be nice to be able to be spontaneous rather than planned. Hey ho. Thanks for your input, all.
I don’t think I’d be upset exactly, but I’d rather be prepared. So, I’m with everyone else. Too much potential disaster for too little reward. Just fess up.
Just say you have to be a work for something (an idiot co-worker got injured or your jerk of a boss insists you are the only one that can perform certain tasks, etc.), then when you show up say someone miraculously was able to fill in for you or the boss relented.
Concur with the simpler approach, sitcom elements in real life don’t quite work out. You can write the desired outcomes in a script; reality laughs.
A properly planned visit is less subject to stupid or malignant outcomes.