Help me get rid of this 'telemarketer'

[Rick]

@anamnesis

Telemarketer: Hi, could I speak with Martin?
Me: This is.
Telemarketer: Hello Martin, my name is Not Important, and I was calling today on behalf of Some Company That Probably Didn’t Endorse This Call to see if you’re satisfied with your phone service and to offer you an opp–
Me: My bagel button?
Telemarketer: Excuse me? Sorry sir, no, this is t–
Me: Dandy fish? A delicate spice, says I.
Telemarketer: Uh …
Me: Do you know my friend Bill?
Telemarketer: No sir, this is on behalf of –
Me: I think he knows you.
Telemarketer: Sir, I don’t know wh –
Me: Sshhhhhhh, can you hear that? That noise?
Telemarketer: Um …
Me: I think it’s the sound of staplers.

(I hang up)

Along the same line a friend of mine who is fairly quick on the uptake got an obscene phone call. He clenches his teeth, and starts breathing in and out through his mouth very loudly. After several seconds of this heavy breathing he says
I know you, your the man that killed my brother.
I know where you live.
I’m coming over to kill you
[more heavy breathing]
yes, I know you, you killed my brother.

At this point the obscene phone caller hung up.

[gigi]

@Common Tater

somewhere, idiots actually purchase items or services from these clowns.

And that’s who I save my real ire for. They are making it worth the telemarketers’ effort.

Unfortunately they aren’t the ones who call my phone. :mad:

[Elza_B]

@Largo62

I like the air horn idea, too, but I think it’s illegal. You could actually be sued if the loud noise damaged the asshole’s hearing. Just hanging up is quicker and safer, if less satisfying.

Again, this is not a regular telemarketer. This is a scam outfit, based in India, I think. If they wanted to sue me, they would have to come out of hiding and admit who they are. And I doubt they’re going to do that.

We’re planning on switching cell phone providers in the next couple of weeks, so I may just have my cell phone number changed. It’s not a big deal, we don’t use our cell phones that much. In the meantime, I’m probably just going to mess with ‘Mike’s’ head for the next couple of weeks until I get a new number. I wonder how he feels about Melrose Place.

E.

[Evil_Joe]

Ask if they can call you back on your cell phone and give them the number for the local police. Maybe they will get annoyed!

[Sunspace]

@Mangetout

Is that actually possible? I thought caller ID was provided by the telephone companies, not the consumer system at the other end.

Ah, but they are using a commercial PBX. They may be calling out on any one of dozens of lines, each of which has a separate line number (in other words, “phone number”) assigned to it by the phone company. Since these are outbound-only lines, a reputable company doesn’t want the customer calling one of these line numbers that aren’t really intended to be seen from outside; they may change for example, rather like dynamic IP addresses.

So the company programs their main inbound call-back number into the outbound caller-ID. When the customer calls back to complain or to order three rooms of carpeting for $299.99, he or she hits star 69 or sees the Caller-ID display on their phone or whatever, and dials the desired inbound number.

Unscrupulous companies will fill their outbound Caller-ID with a false or nonsensical number. I’ve seen more than one Caller-ID display of 000-000-0000, for example.

This is for calls within North America. Calls from overseas may not pass caller-ID information.