I think the elastic resistance straps I mentioned should do the trick. They come in various widths, and I think you should be able to find some that will hold the weight. And they don’t appear to be too expensive, so you can afford to break some while, uh, experimenting.
Woman’s work is never done, huh? 
No, done in about five minutes or so.
Appropriate user name given the operation of the “device.”
“It’s been ages since I had anything twixt my nethers that weren’t run on batteries!”
I’ve never tried but maybe you could cover it in glitter. That’d make it fancy and exciting.
Will the elastic bands support livestock?
This is uncalled for in this thread. Let’s not make potshots at other posters unless you’re in the Pit.
I can’t open the link, as I am at work, but for bands - the bands used for pull-up assists are ridiculously strong.
Shattered PVC is nasty stuff.
That’s what she said…
How about just a pleasingly plump sheep?
…because, I gotta tell you, there’s nothing sexier than having your face between a pair of furry mutton chops!
I guess i need a picture of a couple on it cause looking at the thing, it doesn’t look anything special for sex
Gene Wilder would certainly enjoy that.
So if you put yours in the living room, no one would be the wiser?
Check out the web sites for (animated) illustrations and be prepared to be enlightened.
Cubsfan, check out the DIY groups on FetLife. I know a few of the posters there have quite a bit of experience building amusing sexual accoutrements. You can also Google “DIY Queening Chair” for instructions.
It is. Also anecdotes from people who process medical claims.
Here’s an example I saw recently. See those pointy bits? You don’t want those to be underneath you when something breaks.
I’d be worried about breaking my dick on that thing . One wrong bounce, and off to the ER I go.
A minor point … the sheep doesn’t necessarily need to be alive. 
Please tell me that’s a gag site. No one has actually purchased something like that.
Please.