Here’s a show that may be appropriate:
Oh, my, that’s rather disturbing.
After - ahem - studying the website and illustrations in great detail, I realize that my local hardware store sells cast iron and steel pipe and connectors in a great variety of sizes, lengths and angles. I’m sure a larger store would be able to cut and thread the pipe to any custom length you might need.
Similarly, if you or your wife is even marginally skilled at sewing, you can pick up some 3"-4" wide elastic, cut it to the right length, sew off the ends and you’ll have something that’s well-nigh indestructible.
And, as the hobbyists say, you’ll have the added fun of making it yourself!
HOOBOY, this sounds like a real 5-alarm, “hold my beer and watch this” extravaganza. Of course I’d like to help.
Supply list:
Latex tubing -
Surgical Knot - Two Handed Ligature, Pushing Technique -
Merino Sheepskin Fuzzy Tube -
This Crown Cover is sewn tube style so it will slide on to straps. You must be sure that no buckles are in the way to prevent this from sliding on. THE SHEEPSKIN WILL PAD AND COVER A VARIETY OF STRAPS!! We’ve had people buy these to pad handi-dog harnesses, belly straps, or for padding on arm slings (for around your neck), and guitar straps, etc. Be creative! You might even find a use we haven’t thought of! One-inch thick REAL wool-on-leather pile is washable! Made in USA of imported Australian Merino Sheepskin.
Black & White PVC Furniture Pipe & Fittings -
4 - 45 deg elbows
4 - 90 deg elbows
4 - Tee fittings
1 - 13ft length of pipe
Since this is an experimental project, the cut pipe lengths and pipe diameter are subject to change for a custom fit. Cut the pipe longer than necessary and DON’T GLUE ANYTHING until you are satified with the finished product.
Start with 1.5" diameter pipe and fittings. Or not. You can always make a 2nd model with shorter/longer pipe, or smaller/larger diameter pipe, if the original survives.
Cut pipe lengths -
2 - 24"
8 - 12"
4 - 2"
Form 2 squares using 4 lengths of 12" pipe, 2 - 90 deg elbows, and 2 tees.
Insert 2" cut pipe into the tees.
Add 45 deg elbows to the 2" cut pipe.
Connect the 45 deg elbows with the 24" pipe.
The tees can be removed if they, or the cross sections, somehow impede the angle of the dangle.
The sheepskin tubes can be cut to length at a later time.
Tie the latex tubing to the 24" pipe with a surgical knot, and maybe some half-hitches. Repeatedly thread the latex tubing thru the sheepskin tube, around one of the 24" pipes, back thru the sheepskin, and back around the other 24" pipe. Round and a round you go, until the sheepskin tube is full. Fasten the latex with another Surgical knot. Repeat for the 2nd sheepskin.
Pull the latex tighter for more support, or unwind a turn or two, for less.
Yippie-Kai-Yay, my friend.
And Da Bears.
ETA: There is nothing mundane OR pointless about this O.P. 
Somewhere there has to be an IKEA hack for this…
This looks like something I’ve actually seen somewhere before, perhaps some sort of non-sexual stool or piece of hotel furniture or something. It looks so familiar, but I can’t place it. I wonder if these people just saw the same thing and thought “Hmm, I can stick my dick in this and have someone bounce on it.”
It reminds me of the device in many hotel rooms intended for suitcases, although I think those might be a little higher.
And collapsible. :eek:
Which leads to an interesting side note. Of all the porn I’ve seen that was shot in low-budget hotel rooms, I have never seen that kind of luggage rack used as a sexual accessory.
Now you just know somebody had to try it at some time, so it obviously must not have worked.
Therefore, as a public service to anyone who might possibly entertain the idea (and high school prom season is fast approaching) DON’T TRY IT! TERRIBLE THINGS WILL HAPPEN!
:eek:
DoorHinge, I’m impressed.
Thanks. I’m having 2nd thoughts about the 24" pipes. 20" would probably work better.
OTOH, we haven’t heard from Cubsfan in a while. I’m afraid he may have come to a sticky end. Hoisted by his own petard.
You could probably buy a ducking stool at a Renaissance Faire {Sturdy Burghers not included}
Another vote against PVC. I’m a plumber. While 20" pieces of 2"dia pvc (sch 40 or 80, certainly not sch 20 or SDR) should resist shattering, it’s the fittings that you really need to worry about. They can shatter and cause some nasty wounds. PVC pipe and fittings are made to be installed and left alone, not to have people bouncing on them. I see PVC fittings break all the time in the ground, due to shifting ground or a slight misalignment putting stress on a fitting. You mentioned “Furniture grade” PVC. Will the manufacturer pay your hospital bills if the product fails?
I kept seeing this thread but only today clicked over to see what the heck it was, and once I saw a picture of the “chair” in question my immediate thought was Somebody is playing a joke on OP, as that’s not a sex chair, it’s a hotel-room luggage rack!
Then I realized the reverse possibility. Hotel chains across the world are playing a joke on visitors. :eek: :smack:
LOL.
If he tried to make the thing according to your instructions, he may have been hoisted on something more personal and painful.
I wonder if there is a male anywhere, ever that has looked at anything and NOT thought that.