They are siblings, male and female about 6 weeks old. Their mama was killed.
Wearing gloves I am trying to comfort them. One is letting me pet it. The other is quite defensive.
How long should these attempts to comfort them last? A few minutes? Would it be better to separate them during these lessons?
I would appreciate any tips you can offer.
Would love them to be friendly, playful kittens.
Are they in some enclosed area?
If so, give them what the need to live, some hidey holes and let them come to you. If it takes several days for them to come to you, that’s ok. The more insistent you are, the slower it’ll go.
I wouldn’t separate them unless one is hogging the food, and then I would only separate them when feeding them. They probably are providing some comfort for each other. Feed them and, as said above, let them come to you. I would also recommend giving them something soft and furry–not real fur but something with a nap. And maybe wearing something like that when you interact with them. If they chew or suck on it while kneading, you will know that now they think you are their mother.
If they get the food they need I think they will become friendly, playful kittens, because playful is the nature of kittens.
I think there are some kitten experts here, but I’ve had some experience, too, and IME they will grow fonder and fonder of the food supplier.
They are young enough to be fine. House train them like you would any other young cat. Provide a litter box that they can use, when they try pooping somewhere else, gently put them in the litter box. Provide food that is always available.
Keep them inside your house. Act normal. They will hide and seem to stay wild for awhile. It takes time but in they will eventually, if they feel safe, come out more and begin to view this as their new home and you as their new family. Being feral is to be very defensive, their life depends upon taking care of themselves only. The defenses will come down over time.
And certainly do not separate them, they will learn from each other.
Yep, it’s all about food and warmth. Keep providing and they will learn to trust you. I wouldn’t force petting and stroking. Just wait for it.
Bacon.
Make sure they have a piece of your clothing to bed down into. Preferable something you’ve worn with no cologne/perfume or deodorant. But also not the shirt you wore mowing the lawn… That would be a bit much.
As others have suggested, food is a good motivator. If you are giving the kittens dry kibble, make a game of it. When you have their attention, toss individual pieces for them to chase and pounce on, stimulating their instinct to hunt and to play. They’ll also associate this fun activity with you and will probably soon start coming right up to you for more. Talk to them and praise their efforts often.
Also, get or make what I call a fishing rod toy. Some small toy on a string attached to a stick. While they’re playing with the toy, gently try to touch them with the stick. If they accept that, stroke them with it. It’s sort of like petting but without the big, scary human getting too close. When they get used to that (probably won’t take too long) reach in with your hand whenever you can for some real petting. They’ll soon realize real petting feels much better!
At least that was my experience with Noir Kitty, who was afraid of everything to do with humans for the first ten or twelve years of his life. You can teach an old cat new tricks and I bet you can do the same with some young ones, too.
It’s always bacon with you, isn’t it?
Socializing a Spicy Feral Kitten
Spoiler: food. Specifically, hand-feeding. Go to 1:24 to see how quickly an angry kitten relaxes when there’s food around. But really, watch the whole thing for purritos and more.
Actually, you should use food to entice them to approach you, and associate you with good food. So don’t have the best food always available – just the dry kibble. Save the smelly, wonderful wet food as something that only comes with you. Spoon feed it to them at first. With older cats, sometimes you even have to withhold food so they are hungry, to get them to approach and accept food from you. (But not needed for kittens this age – they are pretty easy to tame. Probably a week to 10 days, max.)
Nah, wouldn’t bother them. Animals are attracted to strong smells, even ones we humans are culturally trained to dislike. But dogs, for example, love to roll in things we find terribly stinky.
One possible risk. Once raising a litter of newborn kittens, and I provided a worn, unwashed shirt for their nest. As they grew older and began crawling & climbing around, they liked to climb up on me as I sat in my chair, and then lay on the arms of the chair or my upper chest and fall asleep. Took a while before I realized why they seemed to feel so comfortable & safe sleeping near my armpits!
My current cat was a 6 week old feral cat. he’s never been a thrilled with petting. the act of bringing my hand up to his head really puts him off.
However, he sticks to me like glue for the most part and is an indoor cat. I’ve been wearing him down the last 4 years and he likes petting on his terms. He will throw himself in front of me every morning and wants his back rubbed with my foot as I walk by. sometimes he will jump on the bed and make a real show of wanting a bit of loving.
Bribe the cats with food and use standard cat toys to interact with them. Their personalities will dictate the general direction they take and you can “mold” them to your liking with repeated positive reinforcement.
I managed to whisper a colony of ferals in The Philippines in about a week. It was around a dozen 2-4 month kittens and their moms. Never got close to the enormous one-eyed tom, and frankly I was fine with that. Most important part of initiating contact is to remember that cat fights start with one patting the other on the head. Keep your humongous monkey paw away from the top of their head until you have a friendly play fight rapport. Instead, go to the sides of the chin/chest for scritches, and use a super light touch until they start pressing against your fingers. And no struggle cuddles.
I mean, it’s a good strategy for most things.
In my experience it just takes food and patience. Hang out with them without looking at them or trying to interact with them, let them come to you if possible. Really in the long run some cats remain standoffish, it’s just their personality.
Patience and food, but the real trick to socializing hissy kittens is the kitten burrito.
Thank you for your tips and video links. I have learned a great deal.
The one kitten is warming up to me. And is eating out of a spoon. The other one continues to be hissy, all claws and teeth. And refuses to eat out of the spoon.
Thanks to your advice, I am progressing slowly. Allowing them to come to me.
I will keep you deformed on this adventure.
It’s likely that the Hissy-Kitty will gradually notice the other one doesn’t get harmed, and even - hey! - gets yummy food, and will want to get some too, out of sheer jealousy.
Associating human contact with food - and not just any food, but the really good stuff - is a time honored way to tame a beast.
(If you or someone nearby has a camera, we would love to share in your cuteness. It’d help us make better suggestions, I’m sure.)
Too late!
Most of us are deformed already. Along with depraved & dejected. 
It will take a long time, so be patient. Weeks, certainly, maybe months. But it will be worth it to know that you have created a safe space and saved the lives of these two innocent creatures.
Sibling jealousy is a powerful tool. Observe this photo.
I had two foster kittens, this was the scared hissy one. I was playing with his more outgoing sister, using a fishing rod/wand toy to ‘trick’ her into playing in my lap by getting her excited with the toy, then having her chase it up onto my leg and then into my lap. Great way to get them used to body contact on their own terms.
So, the scared hissy one hears the commotion and pokes in from the kitchen. He sees what’s happening and sloooowly slinks up to the relative safety of hiding behind a bicycle, maybe two feet away from me. He sits there, watching us play, trying to decide whether to get involved. He wants to, he desperately wants to, but he’s got a tough guy image to maintain, yanno?
The indecision wears him out, and so he falls asleep sitting up. That’s the picture.
The next day, we were best friends.
That reminds me. When we first hooked up, The Missus had a cat that would only tolerate her and her son. All strangers were to be ignored until an opportunity arose for a random attack & immediate retreat. It was clear pretty quickly Tigger was just distrustful of anyone who was not Momma or Her Boy. But I am Catman and I must cuddle all kittehs. So we got her a kitten (who became the legendary 17 pound rescue panther named Chicken) and let her watch me love up the kitten. Showed her what kind of guy I was. Took a week for her to come around. Then I had two cats! Yay!