I enjoy living in Kansas City and think it has a lot to offer in many ways, but public transit isn’t really one of them. The bus system could be adequate for certain place of residence/place of work/lifestyle combinations, but it’s rather limited. Not having a car can be tough here.
Baltimore checking in. We pretty much check all your boxes. My mortgage in a three bedroom house in a nice neighborhood is $1k. Public transit is decent, particularly if you don’t mind adding the occasional lyft/uber into the mix. Not up to DC/NYC/Chicago standards, but you can get where you’re going. It’s a pretty liberal city and while I’m not into the queer scene, I understand it’s decently large. Our beer/restaurant scene is constantly growing and there’s pretty much always something to do. And we’re an hour train ride from DC were lots of fun stuff lives without paying to live there.
I’ve always had a soft spot for Baltimore, it’s a real city in a way DC isn’t. If I could find work there, I’d live in B’more.
It’s really a lot like Philly though - just smaller.
I haven’t lived in DC longer than I care to admit, but this lines up with my experience. While many aspects of the city are fabulous (great free museums, excellent public transit), the “if it didn’t happen inside the beltway it’s not important” mentality, along with the very particular and conservative approach to what’s considered appropriate dress, are (or were) kind of off-putting. It’s no place to date, either, from what I can tell (I was married before I moved there, so I don’t have personal experience of that.)
The problem with DC is all the transients who come here to make a buck and then get out. They don’t really put down roots and they never really become members of the community. You can spot them because they want to tell you how things should be done based on wherever they are from; as a native of the DC area, for 49 years I’ve been wanting to ask one of them if things were so great where they came from, why did they leave and come here?
I haven’t been single in a long time, but my nephew was until recently and he didn’t seem to have any trouble. There is a huge difference between life in the city and life in the surrounding burbs.
If you could reconsider the size criteria, I suggest a northern college town. Even though I went to the “other school”, I recommend Ann Arbor. Very diverse, very liberal, very tolerant. Detroit and all of its offerings are but a short drive away, but you can get most everything you want in A-squared.
So has the OP made a decision yet?
I think you sort of answered your own question in a way. I came to DC simply because the job opportunities were severely limited in Philadelphia. I am someone who will do what needs to be done even if I don’t particularly like it; so 4 years ago me and my SO moved to DC because it was where we could find better(meaning better than $12/hr part time no benefit) jobs.
The job market is much better than it was in Philly, so I am grateful for that. In reality though, DC is a town for thoroughbreds and I am a mule. I’m just a different species of animal to the core of my being than the types of people DC would normally attract and retain. I don’t have anything against DC, but on the other hand the mentality is one that is very status focused. That does not mean that everyone cares about the same sorts of status, but whatever people are into, they are very into it, and they are usually very accomplished. I don’t see anything particularly wrong with it or think it should change; but by the same token me and my SO are fish out of water here - most people with personalities like ours do not stay very long here AFAICT.
I have gone to considerable lengths to become part of whatever community there is here, but it’s just not like where I am from - forming those kinds of bonds with people here is something I have been unable to do.
On the other hand, maybe I just don’t know the right places to go to. So, If there is some group of people in DC who are indifferent to where you went to school, how you dress, how prestigious the job you have is, don’t always feel the need to name drop, go on about political nonsense, that are able to talk to you and not at you, don’t flake out half the time when trying to have a get together and are just generally concerned about you as a person let me know where that place is and I’ll go there. Those are the type of people that make a community that people like me would want to establish roots in.
What about Salt Lake City? They just elected their first openly gay mayor and it’s relatively cheap. It’s got all four seasons and the mountains are beautiful, especially in the winter. Tons of outdoor activities.
Not much of a public transit system, though, outside of buses, and you’re not too far from one of the most conservative areas in the country (Provo-Orem corridor).
Nope, and I probably won’t for a month or so at least. First I need to get through a whirlwind tour of Japan, ensure everything that I own has in fact made it safely back to the US, then survive the Holiday Season with relatives I haven’t seen in two years.
I think, though, I’ve considerably narrowed the list down, to the following: Albuquerque, Boston*, Cleveland, DC, Minneapolis, Pittsburgh. Albuquerque’s still there because I’ve realized I’m within a few months of being able go to there and gorge myself to death on sweet, sweet New Mexican food (I lived in Santa Fe for five years). Boston is obviously still iffy, price-wise, but an old college roommate lives there and we’re going to have a long catch-up once I’m back in that time zone and I’m going to pick her brain about it.
I’ve got family in the Cleveland and DC areas and will be visiting them within the next month. I’m definitely going to use “I dunno, might move here” as an excuse to escape the festive togetherness for a day in both places and have a good wander. I’m going to try and swing a day in Pittsburgh on the way to or from Cleveland, as my best friend lives in the area(ish). I’d love to visit the other places as well, but that’ll be contingent on finding really cheap airfare.
Think of London, small city
Dark, dark in the daytime
People sleep, sleep in the daytime
If they want to, if they want to
I’m checking them out, I’m checking them out
I got it figured out, I got it figured out
Good points some bad points
But it all works out, I’m a little freaked out
Find a city, find you a city to live in
I will find a city, find yourself a city to live in.
They’re called native Washingtonians. My next door neighbors are a parking lot attendant and a nurse, just regular people, who happen to have been born here.
Ever go to Tomasita’s Restaurant?
Alright; where do I go to meet these kinds of people? It is a serious question - I don’t doubt their existence, but where does one go if they are not from here and want to meet such people?
The vast majority of people I meet are transplants, so mostly what I say would only apply to that group.
Honestly the best way is to go to your ANC meetings, you’ll meet old timers and new people who are interested in putting down roots. Not to be snarky, but the people who complain about DC are the ones who often seem to be part of the problem.
I’m not complaining about DC, I am just stating what I like and do not like what I think is good or bad and what I have experienced . I am just describing the city as I have experienced it; the majority of things I have listed have been positive. I am not “complaining” about DC any more than you are complaining about DC when you say it is expensive, or that it is not a real city in the way Baltimore is.
Ironically (considering your frustration with uninvolved transplants), your responses in which you mean “not to be snarky” are somehow failing to make me enthusiastic about meeting more native DC people.
Your call, it seems weird to wait to start living your life at some future unannounced date. Believe me, my snark comes from decades of revolving door transplants dipping a toe in and never even registering their car in the city, but feel qualified to register their disdain.