Help me remember - weird bug with a weird name?

Factual Questions
1

I am racking my brain trying to remember the name for this bug. It’s a harmless, but reasonably big insect, with sort of long, bent, pincher arms, and kind of a flat body. The name is something cutesy, like reminds me of hurdy burdy or rolly-poly?

2

Too easy, but praying mantis?

3

Stink bug?

4

Stag beetle?

5

Hallucigenia?

6

Vinegarroon?

7

Nope. None of these. Dammit. It will come back to me, it will just drive me insane first.

8

Dung beetle

9

Amblypygi

10

Pincher arms make me think earwig? We could cutesify the name to “eary-wiggy” if you like.
https://www.google.com/search?q=earwig&rlz=1CAJFEX_enUS828US828&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X&ved=0ahUKEwi7tsrS-NrgAhVKPN8KHT9CC5wQ_AUIDigB&biw=1242&bih=583

Or silverfish?
https://www.google.com/search?rlz=1CAJFEX_enUS828US828&biw=1242&bih=583&tbm=isch&sa=1&ei=HwB2XIfPBMuOggewxqfICw&q=silverfish&oq=silver&gs_l=img.3.0.35i39j0i67l3j0j0i67j0l4.68667.70402..72072...0.0..0.107.506.5j1......1....1..gws-wiz-img.C5uZ5nkE5-0

11

Are you sure about pincher arms? Not many insects have those.

12

Daddylonglegs (harvestmen) aren’t insects but are harmless and fairly big.

There actually are “bugs” called roly-poly bugs (pillbugs, woodlice, Armadillidium vulgare), although they’re crustaceans rather than insects. Quite small and not long-legged, though.

Mealy bugs have a “cutesy” name but, again, aren’t anything like your description.

Water striders or “Jesus bugs”, aquatic insects held up by surface tension on the top of bodies of water, are more like your description but I can’t believe you wouldn’t have remembered the water striding.

13

Yeah, that’s what’s flummoxing me too. Actual pincers or just long antennae?

Still, I’m on the edge of my seat to find out what this insect is.

14

The description, for me, mentally calls up a scorpion, but that ain’t harmless.

… something vaguely resembling a scorpion, perhaps?

15

Amblypygi. I found it! Whew!

16

Cooties?

nope, that’s not it either…

17

“It looks like an alien monster from the depths of hell that will eat your face” as part of the description would have helped.

18

And I would have thought the common name “tailless whip scorpion” would have been pretty memorable as well as decidedly non-“cutesy”. Still, good work Poysyn on remembering it, I think it would have taken us a long time to guess!

19

Sorry. I remember thinking “Awww what a cute name…I bet it’s cute, like a ladybug or a bumble…DEAR GOD IN HEAVEN, WHAT THE F IS THAT?”

20

Yes. Yes it does! And why does everyone have it on their face in the results?