Help me tire spike the crosswalk so the fuckwads stop trying to run me over

My crossing guard job subjects me to an impatent, soccer-mom culture of seeing how many traffic intersections drivers can blaze through without being stopped for running red lights/stop signs/etc.

When I hold up my sign and blow my whistle, people, that means STOP! That STOP sign? Its not a suggestion. I’m not saying “please stop”. I’m saying “Stop…or else!” But some people just don’t get it. Sometimes they think that the stop sign only applies to traffic going in one direction. Sometimes they think I’m stopping traffic so they can make their left turn :mad:

I’m really tempted to add the words “SEVERE TIRE DAMAGE” on my stop sign. To make them think that if they go when my sign is up their tires will be torn to ribbons. Crossing the street is dangerous enough, but having to stand out there and physically block traffic from running over little children is just nuts.

The worst culprits are drivers who give body language to suggest that they know that they are supposed to stop. They’ll wave at me and nod their head to suggest “Ok, I see you and your sign, I’m stopping now” but sometimes they just roll right through the crosswalk nodding and waving. Usually, if I’m standing right in front of them, they won’t go, but some people don’t even care that a friggin city employee, with a bright green dayglow vest and red stop sign, is standing smack in front of their vehicle. Thus if it looks like they’re not going to stop I’m not going to just stand there and let them plow into me. Which is frustrating- there’s nothing I can do to really force them to stop. I can get their plates written down and report them, but that doesn’t give me any tangible satisfaction.

Usually there are several police cruisers around in the afternoon when school gets out. I definitely want to talk to some of them about this. There was one time (though it was only ONCE) where an officer actually saw someone drive past me when I was stopping traffic to cross children. The cop pulled him over immediately and was screaming at him about driving through an intersection when children were crossing. That felt gratifying. But I wish that could happen to every asshole who just zips past me… :mad:

Amen! I’ll help!

I’m not a crossing guard, but I’m a pedestrian. What I hate the most are those idiots who are so concerned with making their free right turn on a red light that they never actually look in the direction they’re going! They’re staring so hard to the left, searching for that break in traffic that they can zip into, that they never see me standing on the corner waiting to cross the street.

So what happens is this: the oncoming traffic finally gets a red light (which means that I now have a ‘walk’ signal). And this moron who’s been trying to make his/her free right turn sees the traffic stop, and proceeds to pull away from the corner while still staring off to the left at the stopped traffic!

I have seriously wanted to buy myself a bag full of sharpened caltrops to casually toss into the path of these imbecile’s vehicles. Don’t want to look the same direction you’re driving, a-hole? Maybe four flat tires will persuade you to pay more attention to what you’re doing!

As it is, I’ve simply made a practice of avoiding crossing the street in certain directions at certain intersections (some spots are much worse than others). Of course, that means I have to go out of my way and inconvenience myself, but it’s better than becoming a wet spot in the crosswalk. I also won’t cross the street, even with a ‘walk’ signal, without making eye contact with that driver on the corner.

Phase42, I was actually hit and knocked into the path of oncoming traffic by just such a specimen. Luckily, the guy at the head of the oncoming traffic was looking in the direction he was travelling. (Maybe his attention was attracted by the moron backing up to avoid being ht by him, leaving me lying in the road.)

Count me as another who now uses crosswalks starting with the assumption that each of the two-ton juggernauts of steel I’m walking in front of is piloted by a dangerous idiot.

Phase42, I have also been hit by right-turn-on-red morons, not once but twice, with a third near miss. And people wonder why I’m afraid to cross the street.

Man! Not only do you have to deal with jerks, but you can’t even berate them for being jerky.

I’m just thinking… in your rush to avoid being run over, it would sure be bad if you accidentally scratched their car with your sign. Yep. Real bad.

OK, I’m on my way with a spool of razor-tape. Where do you want me to lay it?

I have at least one near-miss a week. Usually by people turning right on green light while I have the “walk” light. I have to jump backwards really quick. And here in Vegas, we have a shiny new municipal ordinance that states that a vehicle may not turn right until the “don’t walk” light starts to flash.

Under these circumstances, the only way for a car to hit a pedestrian is if the driver begins to turn after the pedestrian has stepped off the curb. The car is coming from behind the pedestrian, which means (incredible insight) the pedestrian was in front of the car. So, what is happening is that a driver is turning when a pedestrian is clearly visble in their path. I’m lucky. Not everyone can backpedal as fast as I can. We have a lot of elderly folks here in Vegas who don’t have the mobility us younger folks have. They are quite frequently the victms of hit-and-run accidents.

Also, the walk lights/green lights at a frighteningly high percentage of intersections in this town are not long enough for an average young person to walk across the street, let alone an elderly person, so it frequently happens that someone is caught in the street when the light changes. When this happens, traffic just rolls. I have had a lot of near-misses this way. Light turns red, and as I am hurrying to get to the opposite curb and safety, the vehicles seeing their red light turn green roll. Apparently, they haven’t learned the concept of letting the pedestrian get out of your path before you stomp the accelerator.

We had a little girl run over on Cheyanne once because she got caught in the street when the light changed, and a driver just mowed her down rather than wait for her to get out of the intersection.

The solution is obvious. Just re-equip your school as a drive-in and have all the kids drive to all their lessons. That way no crossing guard is needed and you can be safe.
What’s that it’s a kindergarten? Make 'em drive anyway.

Tapioca, who always stops for crossing guards and the only thing I drive is a bicycle

That’s scary…we used to live on Cheyenne near Las Vegas Boulevard.

As for the OP…I don’t suppose you’re allowed to carry paintball guns? :smiley:

T’hell with the paintball guns. When they start mowing down crossing guards and little girls, it’s time to break out the friggin’ REAL guns…

I suggest going the Car Wars route and getting the rocket-launcher option on your next car, just for these people…

I lived in Las Vegas, too. On a very busy street with a school crossing (across W. Sahara, just W. of Valley View, if anyone cares) there was a nice old lady school crossing guard.

If a car ignored her and she was close enough, she made one heck of a mark on the offending vehicle with the edge of her STOP sign. I saw her do this more than once.

Not that I’m recommending you do this, of course. It’s my guess she was too old to care about being a victim of either murderous road rage or litigation (what jury would convict or award damages?).

I’ve realized that when I’m a pedestrian, the drivers are all crazy assholes who don’t know how to drive.

However, when I’m driving, it’s the pedestrians who are being fuckwits by walking too slow and bending down in the middle of crossing to tie their shoe.

“We had a little girl run over on Cheyanne once because she got caught in the street when the light changed, and a driver just mowed her down rather than wait for her to get out of the intersection”

When was this? Not like I can keep on with the constant flow of Vegas traffic accidents since I moved here, but I’m curious.

In some parts of Vegas, usually down near the strip on the weekends, you almost have to threaten to run over pedestrians with your vehicle to get anywhere. Light goes red for you, they cross in droves. Light goes green for you, they cross in droves. I HATE driving anywhere near the strip.

I’m not too comfortable being a pedestrian in Vegas almost anywhere. When I lived on Smoke Ranch and Torrey Pines there was a fatal accident with some kid’s father. The psycho that hit him drove with the man’s body on his car to Cheyenne or something, stopped, pulled the body off, and then kept on going. shudder With whackos driving around like that people wonder why I don’t like to go anywhere.

And hello to all ye Vegas Dopers. Email me sometime, we’ll get drunk together and call Cecil a lying bastard or something. hides from the wrath of Uncle Cecil

Sanscour

Sanscour, this happened about four years ago. Didn’t even make headlines- I read about it on the op-ed page.

Welcome to Vegas. Now, run away. Flee while there’s still time…

Well see, the problem is your thinking.

You posted that your sign means “Stop or else” (although you later corrected this).

You need to realize that what your sign really means is “I wish you would stop but I am pretty powerless as I am not in another car and I don’t have a gun”

I think you need to focus on not getting run over and not letting any children get run over. And consider getting a gun; a big one is a real attention getter.